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The Office (U.S. season 2) Quotes

The Office is a television show that debuted in 2005 on NBC. The Office completed its run in 2006.

The Office aired for 22 episodes.

The Office Quotes

  • (Michael Scott) "That's what she said."
  • (Unnamed) "Seriously? You're gonna sit in the back?"
  • (Unnamed) "Uh, yeah? That's the safest part of a car. In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side first."
  • (Michael Scott) "I -- declare -- BANKRUPTCY."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen."
  • (Michael Scott) "I didn't say it, I declared it."
  • (Unnamed) "I was thinking maybe we could jam his drawers so they only come out two inches, and then that way you could see everything in them but you can't get in them."
  • (Unnamed) "Does Edgar Allan Poe know about that one? So sinister."
  • (Unnamed) "That wouldn't annoy a person at all. What do you; where do you come up with this stuff?"
  • (Unnamed) "Okay. Alright, well, this isn't my best, but call Froggy101. Say that we're the tour manager for Justin Bieber and we're giving away free tickets, we give them a number to call for the tickets, and it's his number."
  • (Unnamed) "Who is Justice Beaver?"
  • (Unnamed) "He -- it's a crime-fighting beaver."
  • (Michael Scott) "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
  • (Unnamed) "Hi, Mich --"
  • (Michael Scott) "No, God --. No, God, please, no --. No --. No --. Nooooo."
  • (Michael Scott) "I see the sales department are down there, they're in the engine room, and they are shoveling coal into the furnace. Right? I mean, who saw the movie Titanic? They were very important in the movie Titanic."
  • (Unnamed) "Everyone in the engine room drowned."
  • (Unnamed) "I kinda know what it's like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man."
  • (Unnamed) "Boy have you done lost your mind? Cause I'll HELP you find it."
  • (Andy Bernard) "Rit-dit-dit-do-doo."
  • (Michael Scott) "Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special; baseball cap on backward, baggy pants. He says something ordinary like, "Yo, that's shizzle". Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you."
  • (Michael Scott) "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
  • (Michael Scott) "Well, just tell him to call me ASAP as possible."
  • (Michael Scott) "Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me."
  • (Unnamed) "Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, God, nature. Please."
  • (Unnamed) "When two animals are having sex --"
  • (Michael Scott) "Dwight, you ignorant slut."
  • (Unnamed) "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."
  • (Unnamed) "Nope, it's not Ashton Kutcher. It's Kevin Malone. Equally handsome, equally smart."
  • (Michael Scott) "I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

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