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The Office (U.S. season 5) Quotes

The Office is a television show that first aired in 2008 on NBC. The Office ended its run in 2009.

The Office was on for 28 episodes.

The Office Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, God, nature. Please."
  • (Unnamed) "When two animals are having sex --"
  • (Andy Bernard) "Rit-dit-dit-do-doo."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, I want to set you up with my daughter"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, I'm engaged to Pam."
  • (Unnamed) "I thought you were gay?"
  • (Unnamed) "Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?"
  • (Unnamed) "I don't know."
  • (Unnamed) "Hi, Mich --"
  • (Michael Scott) "No, God --. No, God, please, no --. No --. No --. Nooooo."
  • (Unnamed) "Boy have you done lost your mind? Cause I'll HELP you find it."
  • (Michael Scott) "This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here."
  • (Michael Scott) "That's what she said."
  • (Michael Scott) "I -- declare -- BANKRUPTCY."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen."
  • (Michael Scott) "I didn't say it, I declared it."
  • (Unnamed) "I kinda know what it's like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man."
  • (Michael Scott) "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
  • (Michael Scott) "Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special; baseball cap on backward, baggy pants. He says something ordinary like, "Yo, that's shizzle". Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you."
  • (Michael Scott) "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
  • (Unnamed) "Nope, it's not Ashton Kutcher. It's Kevin Malone. Equally handsome, equally smart."
  • (Unnamed) "I was thinking maybe we could jam his drawers so they only come out two inches, and then that way you could see everything in them but you can't get in them."
  • (Unnamed) "Does Edgar Allan Poe know about that one? So sinister."
  • (Unnamed) "That wouldn't annoy a person at all. What do you; where do you come up with this stuff?"
  • (Unnamed) "Okay. Alright, well, this isn't my best, but call Froggy101. Say that we're the tour manager for Justin Bieber and we're giving away free tickets, we give them a number to call for the tickets, and it's his number."
  • (Unnamed) "Who is Justice Beaver?"
  • (Unnamed) "He -- it's a crime-fighting beaver."
  • (Michael Scott) "Dwight, you ignorant slut."
  • (Unnamed) "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."
  • (Michael Scott) "I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."
  • (Unnamed) "Seriously? You're gonna sit in the back?"
  • (Unnamed) "Uh, yeah? That's the safest part of a car. In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side first."

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