The Stepford Wives (2004 film) Quotes

The Stepford Wives (2004 film) is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . The Stepford Wives stopped airing in 1970.

It features Scott Rudin as producer, David Arnold in charge of musical score, and Rob Hahn as head of cinematography.

The Stepford Wives (2004 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Stepford Wives (2004 film) is 93 minutes long. The Stepford Wives (2004 film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Glenn Close as Claire Wellington, Bette Midler as Bobbie Markowitz, Nicole Kidman as Joanna Eberhart, Roger Bart as Roger Bannister, Matthew Broderick as Walter Kresby, Nicole Kidman as Joanna Eberhard, Bette Midler as Bobbi Markowitz, Jon Lovitz as Max Markowitz, Christopher Walken as Mike Wellington, Robert Stanton as Ted Van Sant, Kate Shindle as Stan Peters, KaDee Strickland as Tara, Bette Midler as Bob, Jon Lovitz as Dave Markowitz, Lorri Bagley as Charmaine Van Sant, Faith Hill as Sarah Sunderson, and David Marshall Grant as Jerry Harmon.

The Stepford Wives (2004 film) Quotes

Bette Midler as Bobbi Markowitz

• (Bette Midler) "Add it up. All the women around here are perfect sex-kitten bimbos. All the men are drooling nerds. Doesn't that seem strange?"
• (Nicole Kidman) "Not to me."
• (Bette Midler) "Why not?"
• (Nicole Kidman) "I work in television."

• (Bette Midler) "My psychiatrist says I need creative chaos."
• (Roger Bart) "My shrink says I need boundaries."
• (Nicole Kidman) "My doctor says I need enough electricity to jumpstart Vegas."

• (Bette Midler) "Or maybe I could just use hundreds of Pine Cones to spell out the words 'Big Jew' in letters 15 feet tall, on the snow in my front yard?"
• (Glenn Close) "-- That's a wonderful idea."

• (Stepford Wife) "I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year."
• (Bette Midler) "And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really merry Christmas."

• (Bette Midler) "I got you Mace Windu and Amidala."
• (Jon Lovitz) "And Boba Fett?"
• (Bette Midler) "They were all sold out."
• (Jon Lovitz) "Aw, Mom."
• (Bette Midler) "Here's five hundred dollars."

Matthew Broderick as Walter Kresby

• (Matthew Broderick) "We should get moving."
• (Jon Lovitz) "Yeah, we got a meeting at the Men's Association."
• (Nicole Kidman) "When will you be home, honey?"
• (Matthew Broderick) "When I'm home."

• (Matthew Broderick) "So that's why we have to leave Stepford? I'm not following."
• (Nicole Kidman) "Ok. Before, Roger was witty and stylish and ironic."
• (Matthew Broderick) "And I'm sure he still is."
• (Nicole Kidman) "No. Now he's making speeches in a Brooks Brothers suit."
• (Matthew Broderick) "Hey, there's lots of ways to be gay. Don't try to make him into a stereotype."
• (Nicole Kidman) "Bobbie is right, and she's leaving too. This place does something to people. All of the women are always busy and perfect and smiling, and all of the men are always happy."
• (Matthew Broderick) "And that's a problem because?"
• (Nicole Kidman) "Because it's not normal, Walter. It's -- It's not our world. It's not us. And I'm picking up our kids from camp right now, and we're getting out of here. With or without you."
• (Matthew Broderick) "You'll never change will you? Not really."
• (Nicole Kidman) "Open the door."
• (Matthew Broderick) "And you're right."
• (Nicole Kidman) "About what?"
• (Matthew Broderick) "If you're that unhappy, then we should move. Maybe head back to the city. We could leave tomorrow."
• (Nicole Kidman) "Thank you. Thank you."

• (Matthew Broderick) "You're even better at sex, don't deny it."
• (Nicole Kidman) "I wasn't going to."

• (Matthew Broderick) "She's not a robot. She never was. I couldn't do it."
• (Christopher Walken) "Why not?"
• (Matthew Broderick) "Because she's not a science project. Because I didn't marry something from RadioShack."
• (Christopher Walken) "That's a shame."
• (Nicole Kidman) "No. That's a man."

• (Matthew Broderick) "First of all we are in the country now, so no more black."
• (Nicole Kidman) "No more black? Are you insane?"
• (Matthew Broderick) "You heard me. Only high-powered, neurotic, castrating, Manhattan career bitches wear black. Is that what you want to be?"
• (Nicole Kidman) "Ever since I was a little girl."

Nicole Kidman as Joanna Eberhard

• (Nicole Kidman) "How do I look?"
• (Bette Midler) "Can I be perfectly honest?"
• (Nicole Kidman) "Mm-hmmm."
• (Bette Midler) "You kind of look like Betty Crocker."
• (Nicole Kidman) "I know."
• (Roger Bart) "At Betty Ford."

• (Nicole Kidman) "You're insane."
• (Glenn Close) "I'm in love. With the waltz, and a town"
• (Glenn Close) "and a man."

• (Nicole Kidman) "We're trespassing."
• (Bette Midler) "Only if we get caught."

• (Nicole Kidman) "But, she had sparks coming out of her ears."
• (Roger Bart) "That's the first sign."
• (Nicole Kidman) "Of what?"
• (Roger Bart) "Cheap jewelery."

• (Nicole Kidman) "Mike, Mike, what happened? I was in the garden and I was dreaming about your -- your smile and your aftershave and then I realized --"
• (Nicole Kidman) "I could do better."

• (Nicole Kidman) "If you're in Manhattan, what do you do if you find out you're neighbour is sick?"
• (Roger Bart) "Call her --"
• (Bette Midler) "-To see if she is going to die --"
• (Roger Bart) "-So we could rent the apartment."

• (Nicole Kidman) "Hey, aren't you Bobbi Markowitz? I love your books. What was the name of that book, the one about your mother?"
• (Bette Midler) ""I Love You, But Please Die.""

Glenn Close as Claire Wellington

• (Glenn Close) "Now Bobbi. We all realize you're probably feeling a bit uncomfortable with this weeks book because --"
• (Glenn Close) "what's the word I'm looking for"
• (Additional Stepford Wife) "New?"
• (Faith Hill) "Scared?"
• (Roger Bart) "Cranky?"
• (Glenn Close) "Jewish."
• (Bette Midler) "Same thing."
• (Glenn Close) "But the Heritage Hills series is very inclusive. In fact there is a whole chapter,"
• (Glenn Close) "about Chanukah"

• (Glenn Close) "Well, aren't you a bug's ear."
• (Kimberly Kresby) "Bugs don't have ears."
• (Glenn Close) "Why, aren't you sassy? And a little sad."
• (Glenn Close) "And this must be Joanna."
• (Glenn Close) "Electroshock?"
• (Matthew Broderick) "Yes, but she's doing much better."
• (Glenn Close) "Hello, little energizer."

• (Glenn Close) "I'm the only decent person left"
• (Nicole Kidman) "In Stepford?"
• (Glenn Close) "In the world."
• (Roger Bart) "She's fabulous."

• (Glenn Close) "I was the world's foremost brain surgeon and genetic engineer. I had top-secret contracts with the Pentagon, Apple and Mattel. I was driven. Exhausted. Until late one night, I came home to find --"
• (Glenn Close) "Mike -- with Patricia. My brilliant -- blond -- 21-year-old research assistant. It was all so --"
• (Glenn Close) "-- ugly."
• (Glenn Close) "Then early the next morning, as I gazed across the breakfast table at their lifeless bodies, I thought -- "What have I done?" But more importantly -- what could I do to make the world more beautiful?"

• (Glenn Close) "I asked myself, "Where would people never notice a town full of robots?""
• (Glenn Close) "Connecticut."

• (Glenn Close) "Does anyone have a screwdriver?"

• (Glenn Close) "Today, we are going to discuss; well, it is probably the most important book any of us will ever read. Yes, it is provocative, but it is also inspiring: The Heritage Hills Special Edition Golden Deluxe Treasury of Christmas Keepsakes and Collectibles."
• (Glenn Close) "This book said to me, 'Let's celebrate the birth of our lord Jesus Christ -- with yarn.'"

Jon Lovitz as Dave Markowitz

• (Jon Lovitz) "Cup cakes anyone?"
• (Jon Lovitz) "Cup cakes. Hey, right on time. Jo these are smokin'."
• (Jon Lovitz) "Why can't you make stuff like this?"
• (Bette Midler) "Why don't you?"
• (Jon Lovitz) "Because I have a penis."

• (Jon Lovitz) "Hey, you guys. Which aisle is quilted paper towels? If I don't get the right kind, my wife's gonna kill me."
• (Unnamed) "No talking, keep shopping."

• (Jon Lovitz) "Hey, Kresby-man."
• (Matthew Broderick) "Hey Dave."
• (Nicole Kidman) "How do you know each other?"
• (Jon Lovitz) "Men's Association."

Lorri Bagley as Charmaine Van Sant

• (Lorri Bagley) "Nice khakis, Walter --"
• (Matthew Broderick) "Thanks, I was experimenting --"
• (Lorri Bagley) "Now I know why they call it Banana Republic."

Roger Bart as Roger Bannister

• (Roger Bart) "Oh, I feel like Nancy Drew in the mystery of the mid-life crisis."

• (Roger Bart) "Jerry -- Jerry, its a bakesale. An actual bakesale. It's like some heavenly diorama at the Smithsonian in the Hall of Homemakers."
• (Roger Bart) "Oh, no. No, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. That is not cobbler."
• (David Marshall Grant) "Roger -- could we; could we reel it in a couple hundred yards?"
• (Roger Bart) "How do you ladies keep your figures? Is there just a huge vat of cobbler vomit somewhere? -- But worth it?"

• (Roger Bart) "What am I wearing?"

Christopher Walken as Mike Wellington

• (Christopher Walken) "My real name isn't Mike, it's just a nickname from where I used to work."
• (Nicole Kidman) "Where?"
• (Christopher Walken) "Microsoft."
• (Robert Stanton) "NASA."
• (Vic Stevens) "Disney."
• (Kate Shindle) "AOL."
• (Nicole Kidman) "Is that why the women are so slow?"

• (Christopher Walken) "Only one can survive."

KaDee Strickland as Tara

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