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The Stinsons Quotes

The Stinsons is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . The Stinsons stopped airing in 1970.

The Stinsons Quotes

  • (Lily Aldrin) "This is crazy. You actually cast your own son?"
  • (Barney Stinson) "For a while, I got by borrowing/babysitting my neighbor's baby. And this one Christmas, when my mom was plowed on eggnog, I got away with a bag of flour and a Chuckie mask. But eventually, I had to hold auditions."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Four, eight -- thirteen, Stay. The rest of you may go."
  • (Stage Mom) "You said that if I slept with you, my son would get the part."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Apparently, I'm a better actor than your kid."
  • (Lily Aldrin) "Hey, Barney. Hot blonde babies drinking bad decision juice at eight o'clock."
  • (Marshall Eriksen) "Nice rack radar. That's my wife."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Nah, I gotta get going."
  • (Lily Aldrin) "Seriously? But they're blonde and drunk, isn't that your type?"
  • (Barney Stinson) "Maybe I don't have a type Lily. God do you think the male mind is really that simplistic. That we all have one favorite type, geez."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Asian, with some boob."
  • (Lily Aldrin) "Where are you going, Barney?"
  • (Barney Stinson) "The beach. It's winter. Laser tag. Home. Shut up. You're going somewhere."
  • (Grant) "By the way, I like your nose job."
  • (Robin Scherbatsky) "Thanks, but I didn't get a nose job."
  • (Grant) "Right. Me neither."
  • (Lily Aldrin) "I can't believe we haven't met you before. Who knew Barney had such a great mom?"
  • (Loretta Stinson) "Thanks, dear. Truth is, I wasn't always the best mother when I was younger."
  • (Marshall Eriksen) "Don't say that. I'm sure you were great."
  • (Loretta Stinson) "Yeah, I was a bit of a whore."
  • (Lily Aldrin) "Excuse me?"
  • (Loretta Stinson) "A whore, dear. A dirty whore. I'm not proud of it. But still, I had some fun. There is no thrill equal to looking into some guy's eyes and thinking, "I don't know your name, you don't know mine, but for the next eight minutes, we are gonna rock this gas station bathroom right off its foundation". And then just drive off in opposite directions -- Just keep driving."
  • (Barney Stinson) "So I had to cast auditions, and I ended up with Grant."
  • (Ted Mosby) "He seems fine."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Oh, really? Watch this. Hey, Tyler."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Hey, Tyler. Hey, Tyler. Hey, Grant."
  • (Grant) "Yeah?"
  • (Barney Stinson) "See? It's like amateur hour over here. Call me crazy, but child actors were way better in the '80s."
  • (Marshall Eriksen) "Where is Barney going?"
  • (Ted Mosby) "Yeah. We're not even in Manhattan anymore. Where's this girl live?"
  • (Robin Scherbatsky) "We're talking about a woman who's gotten Barney to commit. I'm guessing Narnia."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Oh, I am so relieved because the truth is I am as far from married as a human being can possibly be. My history with women would shock and appall you."
  • (Loretta Stinson) "Doesn't matter. I still love you."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Seriously, you can't imagine the things I've done."
  • (Loretta Stinson) "Barney, when you were three, I left you with a babysitter and spent three weeks with Grand Funk Railroad being passed around like a bong."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Mommy?"
  • (Marshall Eriksen) "Now that you mention it, Barney did do something kind of odd at the office yesterday."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Okay, see you Saturday. I'm thinking brunch, farmer's market, maybe a hike. I love you, too. Bye."
  • (Marshall Eriksen) "I figured he was just talking to some girl he was trying to nail. Or Ted."
  • (Barney Stinson) "Look, mom, there's something I have to tell you, something"
  • (Barney Stinson) "I should have told you a long time ago. Tyler is dying, and Betty said that when he goes she's gonna off herself. So that's all probably going to go down pretty soon."

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