The Ugly Truth Quotes

The Ugly Truth is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . The Ugly Truth completed its run in 1970.

It features Tom Rosenberg as producer, Aaron Zigman in charge of musical score, and Russell Carpenter as head of cinematography.

The Ugly Truth is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Ugly Truth is 96 minutes long. The Ugly Truth is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Gerard Butler as Mike Chadway, Katherine Heigl as Abby Richter, Gerard Butler as Mike, Eric Winter as Colin, and Bree Turner as Joy.

The Ugly Truth Quotes

Gerard Butler as Mike

• (Gerard Butler) "Yea, it is scary. It's terrifying. Especially when I am in love with a psycho like you."
• (Katherine Heigl) "I am not a psycho."
• (Gerard Butler) "I just told you that I loved you, and all you heard was 'psycho'. The definition of neurotic."
• (Katherine Heigl) "The definition of neurotic is a person who suffers from anxiety, obsessive thoughts, compulsive acts, and physical ailments without any objective evidence of --"
• (Gerard Butler) "Shut up. Yet again, I just told you I am in love with you and you are standing here giving me a vocabulary list."

• (Gerard Butler) "You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper."

• (Gerard Butler) "Oh, I know, I've got a great idea. Why don't we pass the time with you telling me how much fun you and Colin had having sex in Los Angeles?"
• (Katherine Heigl) "I broke up with Colin in Los Angeles, you jackass."
• (Gerard Butler) "What?"
• (Katherine Heigl) "Oh, oh yeah, that's got your interest. Well if you think we're going to finish what we started in L. A. you are out of your mind. You lost your chance."
• (Gerard Butler) "Oh, c'mon, I never had a chance with you."
• (Katherine Heigl) "You're right. I had a momentary lapse in judgement when I thought you were more than you are, but you aren't. Clearly."
• (Gerard Butler) "Oh, yeah? Well what does that mean?"
• (Katherine Heigl) "I'm Mike Chadway. I like girls in Jello. I like to f*** like a monkey. Don't fall in love. It's scary."
• (Gerard Butler) "Yeah, it is scary. It's terrifying. Especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you."
• (Katherine Heigl) "I am not a psycho."
• (Gerard Butler) "I just told you that I loved you and all you heard was "psycho." Well you're the definition of neurotic."
• (Katherine Heigl) "No. The definition of neurotic is a person who suffers from anxiety, obessive thoughts, compulsive acts, and, and physical ailments without any objective evidence of --"
• (Gerard Butler) "Shut up. Yet again I just told you I'm in love with you and you're standing here giving me a vocabulary lesson."
• (Katherine Heigl) "You're in love with me. Why?"
• (Gerard Butler) "Beats the s*** out of me, but I am."

• (Gerard Butler) "Rule #4: Never talk about your problems 'cause men don't really listen or care."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Some men care."
• (Gerard Butler) "No, some men pretend to care. When we ask how you're doing, it's just guy code for "let me stick my dick in your ass"."
• (Katherine Heigl) "OOH."
• (Gerard Butler) "Oh, I know you think Colin is above it all, but trust me, he's a guy. If he's even remotely into you he's probably thought about each one of your orifices at least ten times."
• (Katherine Heigl) "I love how you assume all men are perverse as you are."
• (Gerard Butler) "Oh, I don't assume. I know."

• (Gerard Butler) "It's not for you, it's for your bean."

• (Gerard Butler) "He'll call back in five seconds. Now, come on."
• (Katherine Heigl) "What are you, Nostradamus?"
• (Katherine Heigl) "Amazing."

• (Gerard Butler) "So there you have it. Never assume a girl is easy or assume she's a prude. There are many layers in between, and it's your job, gentlemen, to peel back those layers and figure out exactly what type of woman you're dealing with."
• (Bree Turner) "That sounded almost enlightened."
• (Gerard Butler) "Because once you do peel back those layers, my friends, her lady garden awaits."
• (Bree Turner) "And he's back."

• (Gerard Butler) "Now, we have to teach you flirting."
• (Katherine Heigl) "I know how to flirt."
• (Gerard Butler) "You know how to flirt. "Oh, my name's Abby and I love reading Tolstoy. I also love cats, gardening, and romantic picnics." I don't think so."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Hey baby, you wearing any underwear?"
• (Gerard Butler) "Hey, you know what? I wouldn't say that, and I wouldn't grab ass."
• (Katherine Heigl) "What's wrong with a little ass grabbing, I mean what's it there for if not for me to grab it?"
• (Katherine Heigl) "You're just a set of orifices, and a pair of tee-ta's."
• (Gerard Butler) "And you are a deeply, deeply disturbed person."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Hmm, maybe I'm just a really good student."
• (Gerard Butler) "Would you stop doing that?"
• (Katherine Heigl) "Doing what?"
• (Gerard Butler) "Running your finger down -- there -- over me."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Why, is it turning you on?"
• (Gerard Butler) "Maybe."
• (Katherine Heigl) "It's weird, I think I kinda like it."
• (Gerard Butler) "Really?"
• (Katherine Heigl) "Sucker."
• (Gerard Butler) "I knew it. Okay, no teaching the teacher."

• (Gerard Butler) "I want to thank you for getting me this gig, I would never have gotten it without you. You and I? We make good TV."
• (Gerard Butler) "YOU make imbecillic trash watched by house-bound inbreds who are so busy with their hands down their pants they can't change the remote."
• (Gerard Butler) "I, I hadn't really been picturing you that way, but it's a nice image."
• (Katherine Heigl) "I do not watch your program. My cat stepped on the remote."
• (Gerard Butler) "Well, you want to thank your p***** for me, then?"

• (Gerard Butler) "Rule #3, men are very visual. We have to change your look."
• (Katherine Heigl) "What's wrong with my look?"
• (Gerard Butler) "Abby, you're a very attractive woman, but you're completely inaccessible. You're all about comfort and efficiency."
• (Katherine Heigl) "What's wrong with comfort and efficiency?"
• (Gerard Butler) "Well nothing, except no one wants to f*** it."

• (Gerard Butler) "I'm going to make this guy your bitch."
• (Katherine Heigl) "I don't want a bitch."

Katherine Heigl as Abby Richter

• (Katherine Heigl) "I love how you think every man is as perverse as you are."
• (Gerard Butler) "Oh, I don't think. I know."

• (Katherine Heigl) "I'm sorry, but Jack Magnun will no longer be able to do 'The Ugly Truth', which should really come as no surprise because men are completely unreliable. Take Mike Chadway, for instance. He up and quit the show, without so much as a word. You think you know what men are going to do. You think you know what men want to do, but when it comes right down to that moment where they need to step up and, I don't know, make a move; they chicken out."
• (Gerard Butler) "Oh. I am all over this."
• (Katherine Heigl) "The big strong brave men, that we've all been reading about in novels and watching in movies since we've been nine years old,; -that's a fallacy. They don't exist. Men are not strong. Men are not brave. Men, are afraid. Even if they have a moment in a hotel elevator and it's totally romantic and full of potential, men are incapable of copping to it because, why? Men are weak."
• (Gerard Butler) "Let me tell you something about women. Women would have us believe that they are the victims; That we break their hearts for sport. That's crap. They say they want romance, they say they want true love, but all they want is a check list. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor? For you men who fit the criteria, don't kid yourselves. Cuz they're not sleeping with you, they're sleeping with a carefully calculated set of venal choices. Money over substance, looks over soul, polished over principles. No gesture, no matter how real or romantic will ever compensate for a really impressive list of credentials."
• (Katherine Heigl) "This coming from a man who's never made a gesture other than this one."

• (Katherine Heigl) "He's such a great guy, right?"
• (Gerard Butler) "Yeah, he's dreamy."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Yeah, and he fits all 10 of the criteria on my checklist."
• (Gerard Butler) "Right, though weren't items 1 through 9 something to do with him pretty much being gay?"

• (Katherine Heigl) "Tell me about the doozy. You know, the woman who broke your heart."
• (Gerard Butler) "You are just totally trying to kill my buzz."
• (Katherine Heigl) "No, I'm not. I'm just interested in what makes you you."
• (Gerard Butler) "Well, for your information, it was more than just one. It was more like a parade. Codependent girls, unfaithful girls, depressed girls, narcissistic girls, phony girls. Girls who, it turned out, didn't actually like me. By the time I hit 30, I realized that you can only have so many lousy relationships before you figure out there's no such thing as a good one."
• (Katherine Heigl) "You can't really believe there's no such thing as a good relationship."
• (Gerard Butler) "To my very core."

• (Katherine Heigl) "I am not desperate."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Why, did you think I sounded desperate?"
• (Gerard Butler) "Listen to you. Desperately asking me if you sounded desperate?"

• (Katherine Heigl) "Can we go over your intro one more time? "I'm Jack Magnum and this is -- ""
• (Jack Magnum) "The Ugly Truth."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Ok, let's maybe lose the gun thing."
• (Jack Magnum) "What? The gun is my signature move."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Unless the NRA is paying your mortgage this month, I say lose the effing gun."

Eric Winter as Colin

• (Eric Winter) "You look great."
• (Katherine Heigl) "Oh, just doing the dishes."

• (Eric Winter) "I'm used to women I can figure out in five seconds, but I can't do that with you."
• (Gerard Butler) "He's an idiot. I figured you out in two. Now tell him good night and stick your tits out, we're going to give this one last shot."

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