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Three to Tango Quotes

Three to Tango is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Three to Tango ended in 1970.

It features Jeffrey Silver as producer, Graeme Revell in charge of musical score, and Walt Lloyd as head of cinematography.

Three to Tango is recorded in English and originally aired in Australia. Each episode of Three to Tango is 98 minutes long. Three to Tango is distributed by Warner Bros. (United States).

The cast includes: Matthew Perry as Oscar Novak, Oliver Platt as Peter Steinberg, Neve Campbell as Amy, and Dylan McDermott as Charles Newman.

Three to Tango Quotes

Matthew Perry as Oscar Novak

  • (Matthew Perry) "I'm not gay. I just have to pretend to be gay for work."
  • (Matthew Perry) "I'm never going to have sex again."
  • (Oliver Platt) "Oh, of course you will. Just maybe not with a woman."
  • (Matthew Perry) "What the hell happened to your head?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "I've been here for nine hours. I got bored."
  • (Matthew Perry) "You're a very strange man. Now, will you get out of my apartment?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "What happened? Oscy -- Oscy -- it's six in the morning."
  • (Matthew Perry) "It was awful, okay? As soon as we left the gallery, our cab caught on fire. THEN, she elbowed me in the face. THEN, we both threw up. THEN, she slammed a car handle into my balls, okay? The entire night was a total disaster."
  • (Oliver Platt) "You're in love with her."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Pretty much."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Hey, you have a Buddha. Oh, I love Buddhas."
  • (Matthew Perry) "They're like bright, cheery, naked Asian Santas."
  • (Matthew Perry) "You know, I had a buddy in college whose name was Bob and we used to call him "Buddha Bob" because he was kind of fat and he liked to walk around naked."
  • (Matthew Perry) "We used to rub his belly for luck."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Anyway -- I love Buddha."
  • (Matthew Perry) "He rocks."
  • (Matthew Perry) "I had no idea things were so hairy in Bosnia."
  • (Matthew Perry) "-- she has an ass so sexy, I struggle to understand it."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Mum's the word. The word is mum."
  • (Matthew Perry) "What's good?"
  • (Unnamed) "Tuna melt."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Ohhh -- what else?"
  • (Unnamed) "Tuna melt."
  • (Neve Campbell) "What do you think?"
  • (Matthew Perry) "Yeah, two tuna melts."
  • (Matthew Perry) "What the hell happened to your hair?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "You were gone for nine hours. I got bored. What happened?"
  • (Matthew Perry) "It was a disaster. First our cab exploded, then I got hit in the face, then we both threw up, then she rammed a car handle into my balls. The whole night was a disaster."
  • (Oliver Platt) "You fell in love with her."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Pretty much."
  • (Matthew Perry) "I haven't done anything or anyone to deserve this."

Oliver Platt as Peter Steinberg

  • (Oliver Platt) "Don't make me make you my prison bitch."
  • (Oliver Platt) "You do know there are other fish in the sea?"
  • (Matthew Perry) "But what if you found the fish?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "Oskie, I'm a professional. I went to graduate school. I did all-nighters my senior year. I did a semester in Egypt. Do you have any idea what toilet paper feels like in Egypt? I delivered cinnamon rolls on a truck with bad suspension for three years. Do you know what that does to your kidneys? My poor kidneys. My freaking kidneys. My poor freaking kidneys. My freaking, scarred, bruised kidneys."

Neve Campbell as Amy

  • (Neve Campbell) "How are your balls?"
  • (Matthew Perry) "They're fine. Thanks for asking."
  • (Neve Campbell) "Did you hurt yourself?"
  • (Matthew Perry) "No, no -- YOU hurt me."
  • (Neve Campbell) "Oh, are you okay?"
  • (Matthew Perry) "Mouth -- watering."
  • (Neve Campbell) "God, I knew that Tuna Melt tasted funny. I'm lucky, I can eat just about anything. Know why? Cause my mother was a horrible cook. She used to make this thing that smelled like a wet dog and old tennis shoes and --"
  • (Neve Campbell) "Oh, sorry."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Would you excuse me for a second?"
  • (Matthew Perry) "Boy that felt good."
  • (Neve Campbell) "Don't worry you'll be alright in a minute."
  • (Matthew Perry) "It just doesn't get better than this."
  • (Neve Campbell) "I handled that well, didn't I? I'm still in one piece."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Yes, very well."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Where are you going?"
  • (Neve Campbell) "To get really really drunk."

Dylan McDermott as Charles Newman

  • (Dylan McDermott) "God, I swear Oscar, if you weren't gay, I'd have to kill you."
  • (Matthew Perry) "Gay? I'm not gay. I didn't -- gay."

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