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To Be or Not to Be (1942 film) Quotes

To Be or Not to Be (1942 film) is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . To Be or Not to Be ended its run in 1970.

It features Ernst Lubitsch as producer, Werner R. Heymann in charge of musical score, and Rudolph Maté as head of cinematography.

To Be or Not to Be (1942 film) is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: Jack Benny as Josef Tura, Sig Ruman as Colonel Ehrhardt, Carole Lombard as Maria Tura, Felix Bressart as Greenberg, Lionel Atwill as Rawitch, Jack Benny as Joseph Tura, Maude Eburne as Anna, Halliwell Hobbes as Gen. Armstrong, and Henry Victor as Capt. Schultz.

To Be or Not to Be (1942 film) Quotes

Jack Benny as Joseph Tura

  • (Jack Benny) "Well, Colonel, all I can say is -- you can't have your cake and shoot it, too."
  • (Jack Benny) "So they call me Concentration Camp Ehrhardt?"
  • (Jack Benny) "Someone walked out on me. Tell me, Maria, am I losing my grip?"
  • (Carole Lombard) "Oh, of course not, darling. I'm so sorry."
  • (Jack Benny) "But he walked out on me."
  • (Carole Lombard) "Maybe he didn't feel well. Maybe he had to leave. Maybe he had a sudden heart attack."
  • (Jack Benny) "I hope so."
  • (Carole Lombard) "If he stayed he might have died."
  • (Jack Benny) "Maybe he's dead already. Oh, darling, you're so comforting."
  • (Jack Benny) "If I shouldn't come back, I forgive you what happened between you and Sobinski. But if I come back, it's a different matter."
  • (Jack Benny) "I can't tell you how delighted we are to have you here."
  • (Professor Alexander Siletsky) "May I say, my dear Colonel, that it's good to breathe the air of the Gestapo again. You know, you're quite famous in London, Colonel. They call you Concentration Camp Ehrhardt."
  • (Jack Benny) "Ha ha. Yes, yes -- we do the concentrating and the Poles do the camping."
  • (Jack Benny) "It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. I come home to find a man in the same boat with me and my wife says to me, "What does it matter?""
  • (Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski) "But, Mr. Tura, it's the 'zero hour'."
  • (Carole Lombard) "You certainly don't want me to waste a lot of time giving you a long explanation."
  • (Jack Benny) "No, but I think a husband is entitled to an inkling."
  • (Jack Benny) "I went to Dobosh and told him when he advertises the new play to put your name first."
  • (Carole Lombard) "Did you, darling? Oh, that's sweet of you, but I really don't care."
  • (Jack Benny) "That's what Dobosh said, so we left it as it was."
  • (Jack Benny) "Her husband is that great, great Polish actor, Josef Tura. You've probably heard of him."
  • (Sig Ruman) "Oh, yes. As a matter of fact I saw him on the stage when I was in Warsaw once before the war."
  • (Jack Benny) "Really?"
  • (Sig Ruman) "What he did to Shakespeare we are now doing to Poland."

Sig Ruman as Colonel Ehrhardt

  • (Sig Ruman) "If you watch the shepherd, you are bound to find the flock."
  • (Sig Ruman) "They named a brandy after Napoleon, they made a herring out of Bismarck, and the Fuhrer is going to end up as a piece of cheese."
  • (Sig Ruman) "Schultz."

Felix Bressart as Greenberg

  • (Felix Bressart) "You want my opinion, Mr. Dobosh?"
  • (Dobosh, Theatrical Producer) "No, Mr. Greenberg, I do not want your opinion."
  • (Felix Bressart) "All right -- let me give you my reaction."
  • (Dobosh, Theatrical Producer) "If we can manage that Greenberg suddenly pops up among all those Nazis --"
  • (Felix Bressart) "It'll get a terrific laugh."
  • (Felix Bressart) "A laugh is nothing to be sneezed at."
  • (Felix Bressart) "Mr. Rawitch, what you are I wouldn't eat."
  • (Lionel Atwill) "How dare you call me a ham?"

Carole Lombard as Maria Tura

  • (Carole Lombard) "You're the greatest actor in the world. Everybody knows that, including you."
  • (Carole Lombard) "Think of me being flogged in the darkness, scream, suddenly the lights go on and the audience discovers me on the floor in this gorgeous dress."
  • (Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski) "I hope you'll forgive me if I acted a little clumsy, but this is the first time I ever met an actress."
  • (Carole Lombard) "Lieutenant, this is the first time I've ever met a man who could drop three tons of dynamite in two minutes."
  • (Carole Lombard) "It's becoming ridiculous the way you grab attention. Whenever I start to tell a story, you finish it. If I go on a diet, you lose the weight. If I have a cold, you cough. And if we should ever have a baby, I'm not so sure I'd be the mother."
  • (Jack Benny) "I'm satisfied to be the father."
  • (Carole Lombard) "No, no, no. I think we've talked much too much about me. Tell me about yourself."
  • (Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski) "Well, there isn't much to tell. I just fly a bomber."
  • (Carole Lombard) "Oh, how perfectly thrilling."
  • (Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski) "I don't know about it being thrilling. But it's quite a bomber. You might not believe it, but I can drop three tons of dynamite in two minutes."
  • (Carole Lombard) "Really?"
  • (Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski) "Does that interest you?"
  • (Carole Lombard) "It certainly does."

Halliwell Hobbes as Gen. Armstrong

  • (Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski) "You see, sir, the other night Professor Siletsky was addressing us at the camp, and I mentioned the name of Maria Tura; and he never heard of her."
  • (Halliwell Hobbes) "Neither have I."
  • (Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski) "Oh, but, he's supposed to be a Pole who lived in Warsaw and she's the most famous actress in Warsaw."
  • (Halliwell Hobbes) "Now, look here, young man, there are lots of people who're not interested in the theater. As a matter of fact, there's only one actress I ever heard of; and I certainly hope I'll never hear from her again."

Maude Eburne as Anna

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Henry Victor as Capt. Schultz

  • (Henry Victor) "But what if he doesn't talk?"
  • (Sig Ruman) "Then we try a little physical culture."

Lionel Atwill as Rawitch

  • (Lionel Atwill) "Well? What have you to say for yourself now? Here is a man with a beard, and you didn't even pull it."

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