Trailer Park Boys Quotes

Trailer Park Boys is a Mockumentary; Sitcom; Black comedy; Crime comedy that first aired in 2001 on Showcase, and Netflix. Trailer Park Boys stopped airing in 2018.

Trailer Park Boys aired for 12 seasons and 105 (+10 specials) episodes. It features Mike Clattenburg, Barrie Dunn, Michael Volpe, Jonathan Walker, Mike Smith, John Paul Tremblay, and Robb Wells as producer, Mike Smith doing voices, Blain Morris as theme composer, Blain Morris, and Marc Mysterio as composer, and Adamm Liley, David Albiston, and Mike Clattenburg as head of cinematography. Trailer Park Boys is executive produced by Gary Howsam, Erica Benson, Norm Bolen, Rachel Fulford, and Laura Michalchyshyn. Trailer Park Boys is created by Mike Clattenburg.

Trailer Park Boys is recorded in English and originally aired in Canada. Each episode of Trailer Park Boys is 30-47 minutes long. Trailer Park Boys is produced by Trailer Park Productions, Topsail Entertainment, Showcase, Sunnyvale Productions, and Swearnet Pictures and distributed by DEX Distribution, and Entertainment One.

Trailer Park Boys Quotes

• (J-Roc's Mom) "Jamie, how many 29 year old record company presidents operate out of their mom's trailers? Know what I'm sayin'?"
• (J-Roc) "Believe it or not ma, some people think I'm gonna make it in this rap game., know what I'm sayin'"

• (Julian) "In sixth grade Bubbles made this puppet he called Conky."
• (Ricky) "What a little asshole."
• (Julian) "Bubbles took it everywhere with him. It was kinda like his confidant."
• (Ricky) "His what?"
• (Julian) "Never mind. Anyway, we had to take the doll away because he, you know, f***ed Bubbles' mind up."
• (Ricky) "Yeah, it was like, even though Bubbles was Bubbles, he was two people at the same time as bein' Bubbles. He was tryin' to be this other person that wasn't Bubbles, but he was still Bubbles. It was, it was f***ed."

• (Mr. Lahey) "He's takin' the s*** tornado right back to Oz."
• (Randy) "Well that would make Sam, Dorothy. Right Mr. Lahey?"
• (Mr. Lahey) "Right, Randy."

• (Ricky) "Bubbles give me the cat back."
• (Bubbles) "Go f*** yourself."

• (Mr. Lahey) "Why don't you get a life Rick? Why don't ya go to community college like Julian here. Hey, I got a good idea. You could teach, livin' in a car and growin' dope 101."
• (Ricky) "Hehe. And you can teach how to get drunk, get fired from the police force become a -- lousy trailer park supervisor that sucks, hangs around with a f***in' idiot that doesn't wear a shirt and looks like a dick but thinks he looks good -- 101."

• (Ricky) "Oh for f***-sakes."

• (Ricky) "I try to be a role model for kids around the park. If some kid wants to grow dope, they can come talk to me, instead of growing dope 6 or 7 times through denial and error, they're going to get it right the first time and have some good dope."

• (Ricky) "f***, that's good pepperoni."

• (Cyrus) "f*** off, I got work to do."

• (Julian) "Wanna go have a few drinks and smoke a joint Bubbles?"
• (Bubbles) "Yes."

• (Bubbles) "Here's what I know, Rick. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, you own it. If it doesn't, you don't own it. And if it doesn't you're an asshole, just like you."

• (Conky) "Oh, those were excellent negotiation tactics you used, Patrick Swayze."
• (Julian) "That's not funny, Bubbles."
• (Conky) "Ohhh my Julian, my handsome Julian Patrick Swayze you were so f***in' sexy in Road House and f***in' Dirty Dancing."

• (Bubbles) "Everybody calm down. For f***s sakes. Is this all about cheeseburgers?"
• (Randy) "Yes."
• (Bubbles) "Well Randy, I've got some burger meat at my shed, I'll cook some up for you, if that'll diffuse the situation."

• (Mr. Lahey) "Birds of a s***feather flock together, Randy."

• (Phil Collins) "Listen boy, when you're under my roof, it's my rules, and burgers is all about them rules. Burgers were good to me and they're good to you."

• (Ricky) "You know, your thoughts might be better than mine but I have thoughts going around in my head too about different thinkings and brain things that you can use -- and doing different things -- and I think I know what's best for my daughter. So f*** off and let me fix the brakes for my daughter and then I'll help you with the hash. You guys don't always know what's best. My f***in' thoughts have feelings of their own too sometimes."
• (Bubbles) "Ricky, what are you talking about?"
• (Ricky) "I don't know, Bubbles. I don't know."

• (Ricky) "Smokes, let's go."

• (Ricky) "Randy, I can see you through all those god**** liquor bags and lawn-chair strapping, f***sakes."
• (Randy) "Well, stop friggin' looking, Rick."

• (Bubbles) "There's onion ring fragments on me, get 'em off."

• (Ricky) "What the f***? Julian, it must be the fumes, i'm hallucinating, man. Looks like Bubbles has got wings on his back and he's strangling Mike Bullard."

• (Jacob Collins) "Come on dad, give us a bam."
• (Phil Collins) "Sorry son, I can't give you a bam. But I can give you a -- a green eggs and HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM."

• (J-Roc) "Ya know what I'm sayin'?"

• (Ricky) "Get two birds stoned at once."

• (Ricky) "The thing with kids and growings and getting learnings and stuff is that -- You can't lie to them. Basically, if you wanna tell the children they can't do something they're gonna want to do it more. When I was young I did all kinds of crazy s*** and I turned out wicked. That's because my dad was f***in' cool, he let me do s***. I was allowed to drive his car around the park, basically took my dirt bike to school, let me grow dope in his shed in grade 7. You know, that's what good parenting is all about. You gotta let them have a bit of freedom."

• (Mr. Lahey) "Randy just doesn't understand. I mean I love him dearly, but I hate Ricky more. I just don't want to have to put up with that prick for the rest of my life. You know, he grew up as a little s***-spark from the old s***-flint. And then he turned into a s***-bonfire and then driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance, he turned into a raging s***-firestorm. If I get to be married to Barb i'll have total control of Sunnyvale, and then I can unleash a s***nami tidal wave that'll engulf Ricky and extinguish his s***-flames forever. And with any luck, he'll drown in the unders*** of that wave. s***-waves."

• (Randy) "I can't get stoned, Ricky."
• (Ricky) "What do you mean? It's s***ty work. Everybody does that, all right? Carpenters, electricians, dishwashers, floor cleaners, lawyers, doctors, f***in' politicians, CBC employees, principals, people who paint the lines on the f***in' roads, get stoned, it'll be fun, get to work. Oh, and this is the most important, go down to the s***-Mart. I need a bag of chicken chips. If they don't have chicken, get me dill pickle. And I want a chocolate milk."

• (Ricky) "I'm not getting Lucy one of those 'Cubic Zarcarbian' f***in' things."

• (Bubbles) "COCKSUCKERS."

• (Bubbles) "Please J-ROC. I'll give you two grams of blonde Lebanese hash."
• (J-Roc) "That's not even blonde mothaf***a."
• (Bubbles) "Well it's dirty blonde."

• (Ricky) "Why aren't you watching the dope plants, you asshole?"
• (Julian) "Calm down Ricky, I'm just grabbing some take-out."
• (Ricky) "Take-out my ass, looks to me like you're on a date with cinnamon-roll-f***in-head."

• (Ricky) "God damnit Trinity, you can't smoke with the patch on."
• (Trinity) "Well you're smoking with the patch on."
• (Ricky) "Yeah, well Daddy's much bigger then you are so he can."

• (Ricky) "Hey Sam, knock knock."
• (Sam Losco) "Who's there?"
• (Ricky) "Get the f*** off the stage."

• (Mr. Lahey) "Who is this park, or even in the whole world, doesn't have problems? Who doesn't have a drink too many times once in a while and maybe even winds up passed out in their own driveway, pissing themselves? Who doesn't drink too much sometimes or who doesn't have a puff from time to time? And who doesn't have problems with the people they love? This is our home. This is our community. I am Jim Lahey, and I am your trailer park supervisor."

• (Julian) "Listen, Ricky, you're only at school for one reason, and that's to sell drugs."

• (Mr. Lahey) "Where ya stayin' Rick?"
• (Ricky) "At the f***-off hotel Lahey."

• (Julian) "Yeah, pick me up a bag of jalapeÒo chips"
• (Ricky) "Jalapeno? What flavor is that?"
• (Julian) "Ricky, the "J" is Silent"
• (Bubbles) "Hal-Uh-Peno, not galapeno."
• (Ricky) "I know how to pronouce it, I ordered f***ing galapeno."

• (Sam Losco) "I knew a guy who got shot twice in one day, he was a real dick."
• (Ricky) "Oh look, we got us a comedian -- wait a sec, were you calling me a dick?"
• (Sam Losco) "What do you think?"
• (Ricky) "Was he calling me a dick?"

• (Ricky) "What, do you own space? No, NASA does."
• (Satellite Employee) "Naysaw?"
• (Ricky) "Rocket people? Perhaps you've heard of them?"
• (Satellite Employee) "It's NASA."

• (Ricky) "Knock knock."
• (Cory) "What?"
• (Ricky) "Knock knock."
• (Cory) "Who's there?"
• (Ricky) "Two f***ing idiots who don't know when to come around and buy dope. Now, get the f*** out of here."

• (Julian) "Ricky, I'm telling you, you gotta stop growing pot."
• (Ricky) "Come on, man, you can't tell me to do that."
• (Julian) "I'm serious Ricky."
• (Ricky) "You can't tell me to do that. It's like telling the NWA to stop being black."

• (Mr. Lahey) "I might shoot you, and then I might shoot myself. Tell you what, you guess Ricky. Guess who i'm gonna shoot first. Will it be you Rick?"
• (Ricky) "No."
• (Mr. Lahey) "Or will it be me?"
• (Ricky) "Yeah."
• (Mr. Lahey) "You?"
• (Ricky) "No."
• (Mr. Lahey) "Me?"
• (Ricky) "Yeah. Shoot yourself, don't shoot me."

• (Ricky) "Breaker breaker, come in Earth, this is Rocket Ship 27, aliens f***ed over the carbonator on engine four, I'm gonna try to ref***ulate it on Juniper. Uhh, and hopefully they've got some, space weed there, over. How -- how was that buddy? I don't f***in' know."
• (Bubbles) "Ricky -- that's not very good. Use space words, real ones, not talking about space weed."
• (Ricky) "NAYSA, power rockets are firin' all over the place -- they got lasers that are shootin' and uh -- Bubbles I can't f***in' do this."

• (Bubbles) "Do you want to see a rocket go, Randy?"
• (Randy) "Does it really launch, Bubbles?"
• (Bubbles) "Does it really launch? Does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?"

• (Ricky) "'Closed for renovations'? This is f***ed."

• (Ricky) "You guys are bleeding, you're not getting in my f***in car."
• (Bubbles) "Oh, for f***-sakes."
• (Trevor) "Ow, Bubbles, those are salt and vinegar."

• (Phil Collins) "Hey, you owe me you f***in' greasy caveman."

• (Julian) "There's something you forgot about. The liquor works for both sides, buddy."
• (Mr. Lahey) "You might be sexy, Julian, but you can't teach me anything about liquor."

• (Ricky) "Getting caught masturbating sucks. I got caught masturbating in jail 7 or 8 times, it really sucks."

• (Bubbles) "Well, that's a little harsh. He's not a punk. He might be a bit of a f***in' goof, but he's not a punk."

• (Julian) "There's no male dancers in there, right?"
• (Trevor) "No, that's every second Tuesday and Thursday."

• (Cory) "J-Roc raps about gangsters & guns, pimps & hos and Compton. The guy's not from Compton. He's a white kid from a trailer park. He should rap about what he really knows which is living in his mom's trailer eating peanut butter sandwiches."

• (Julian) "Think Ricky."

• (Ricky) "They're the two biggest f***-giraffes in the dumb-dumb salad."
• (Bubbles) "f***-giraffes?"

• (Ricky) "Listen man, if you go down to the store and pick me up some "ja-lap-ano" chips and $2 worth of pepperoni, I'll hang out with you for a bit."
• (Randy) "Does anyone else want anything while I'm down there?"
• (Julian) "Yeah, pick me up a bag of Jalapeño chips."
• (Ricky) "Jalapeño? What flavor is that?"
• (Julian) "Ricky, the J is silent. You're saying it wrong."
• (Bubbles) "The J is like an H, Ricky. "Hal-a-peeno", not "ja-lap-ano"."
• (Ricky) "What in the f*** are you guys talking about?"
• (Bubbles) ""Hal-a-peeno". That's how you pronounce it."
• (Ricky) "I know how to pronounce it. I ordered f***in' ja-lap-ano."

• (Ricky) "Hey Lahey, knock knock."
• (Mr. Lahey) "Who's there, Rick?"
• (Ricky) "Mr. Stupidy-head, thats, f***in' pissin' me off right now and thinks he's the captain of the s***-liner, and by the way your fish stick sucks so f*** off."

• (Ricky) "Make like a tree and f*** off."

• (Julian) "Where did you guys hand those flyers out at?"
• (Cory) "s*** dude, we sent them to this new bar, The Empty Closet."
• (Julian) "The Empty Closet -- Huh, why am I not surprised?"

• (Ricky) "Well, I wasn't one who really f***ing noticed anything out of the ordinary but they were requesting songs like Madonna and that which is f***ing awesome, but it was Julian who noticed something really f***ing weird."

• (Ricky) "Boys, what the f*** is up with me getting shot with three darts, and it didn't even affect me? I must be like a superhero or something."
• (Julian) "Maybe you've got so much dope in your system, you're immune, Rick."
• (Bubbles) "Well, if that's the case, then Julian, he is like a superhero. Holy f***, Ricky, you know who you are? You're Dope-Man. He can smoke a pound in a single bound."

• (Conky) "Oh, those were excellent negotiation tactics you used -- Patrick -- Swayze."

• (Ricky) "Treena, I'm stupid. I'm not as smart as everyone else."
• (Treena Lahey) "No, Ricky, you're not stupid, remember you're going to get your grade 10 and you'll be just as smart as everyone else."
• (Ricky) "I dunno, Treena."
• (Treena Lahey) "OK, What's the capital of Nova Scotia?"
• (Ricky) "That's easy, Halifax."
• (Treena Lahey) "OK, then what's the capital of British Columbia?"
• (Ricky) "Victoriaville."
• (Treena Lahey) "See, Ricky, you're just as smart as everyone else."

• (Sam Losco) "Now, my number one priority is to clean up the criminal activity in this park, and those responsible for it. And you know who I'm talking about."
• (Ricky) "Why don't you go f*** yourself, you f***ing dick? You're not even from this park."
• (Sam Losco) "I'm just getting started, boy. You just wait."
• (Ricky) "Yeah we'll see about that, you dick."
• (Sam Losco) "Now I plan on working hand in hand with the poli- with the people of this park, and the police -- departure, we're --"
• (Sam Losco) "This is f***ed up -- uhh -- I'll look at Ricky's ass, after you -- no. You get that lawnmower --"
• (Ricky) "You're on f***ing drugs."
• (Bubbles) "Sam's on drugs everybody."
• (J-Roc) "Nobody can understand what you're brrrrrrzzzzzss-sayin'."

• (J-Roc) "In this park it's one muthaf***a for one and all muthaf***a for all muthaf***a's"

• (Unnamed) "f***in' Randy's gut, is full of dirty old cheeseburgers."

• (Unnamed) "f*** OFF WITH THE f***ING ERECTIONS."
• (Bubbles) "f***in' way she goes and erections ruined the whole f***ing night."

• (Ricky) "I mean, nobody wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli, but I did. I'm ashamed of myself. The first can doesn't count, then you get to the second and third, fourth and fifth I think I burnt with the blowtorch, and then I just kept eatin'."

• (Ricky) "Mr. Lahey and Randy to the f***-off department. Mr. Lahey and Randy to the f***-off department and hurry the f*** up."

• (Mr. Lahey) "Many are called, Rick."
• (Ricky) "And many can f*** off, Lahey."

• (Ricky) "Don't you have some offs to f*** there, boys?"
• (Randy) "What?"
• (Ricky) "f*** off."

• (Unnamed) "What in the f***?"

• (Ricky) "Unleaded, blue container. Supreme, red container. Diesel in the green. Okay, are we clear here, guys?"
• (Cory) "Yeah, but how can you tell which is the Supreme?"
• (Ricky) "What, are you stupid? You f***in' taste it. Unleaded tastes a little tangy. Supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good."

• (Ricky) "I mean how many fathers can give a nine-year-old daughter a car? I'm just happy I'm in a position where I can do something like that."

• (Bubbles) "Hey guys, Captain Arsehole and Wonderboy are coming."

• (Ricky) "f***, I missed jail this year. Was it awesome?"

• (Sarah) "No, J-Roc's not crazy. He just genuinely believes he's black."

• (Ricky) "Julian, I don't f***in' know where it is. It was grade 6. I was drunk."

• (Julian) "You're prostituting yourself out for cheeseburgers again, aren't you?"
• (Randy) "A man's gotta eat, Julian."

• (Treena Lahey) "You're not as bad as my dad says."
• (Ricky) "Yeah, well, your dad is a bit of an idiot."

• (Randy) "-- I want my barbeque."
• (Ricky) "You know what Randy, you're totally right and you know what I'm gonna do for ya?"
• (Randy) "What?"
• (Ricky) "Jack s***."

• (Ricky) "I'd say we got about a ten per cent chance of gettin' out of this one boys."
• (Officer George Green) "Attention, this is the police. Come out with your hands up --"
• (Ricky) "Is that George Green?"
• (Bubbles) "That's definitely George Green."
• (Ricky) "Wicked. Okay, forget what I said, our chances just went up to about ninety five per cent."

• (Trevor) "We're not stupid Julian."
• (Julian) "Yes you are stupid, that's why I have to tell you this."

• (J-Roc) "Yo, DVS, I am so down with your s***, tell me what's goin on my brother?"
• (Detroit Velvet Smooth) "Brother -- you callin' me your brother? Seems to me like one of us ain't black."

• (Bubbles) "I'd like to see that Red Blue Green cocksucker put one of those together, duct-tapin' it."

• (Ricky) "Holy f***, purple squirrels."

• (Ricky) "Knock, Knock, Trevor."
• (Trevor) "I'm not gonna say, "Who's there?", man."
• (Ricky) "You just did, you f***ing idiot."

• (Jacob Collins) "Baaaaaaaaaaam."
• (Phil Collins) "Peanut butter and jaaaaaaaaaaam."
• (Mr. Lahey) "What the f*** are you doing, Phil?"

• (J-Roc) "Can't we talk? You're acting awful hard Randy."
• (Randy) "Well sometimes life is hard, J-Roc."
• (J-Roc) "Randy, sometimes, you're fat. You don't hear me talk about that, do you?"
• (J-Roc) "Look down dawg, nawmsayin'? Ya understand? Seems to me, like you should be able to understand and be sympathetic to what it's like to be pregnant, dawg."
• (Randy) "What are you talking about, J-Roc?"
• (J-Roc) "Oh what, you a'int pregnant with a bucket of chicken?"
• (J-Roc) "Hey, lemme tell you somethin' little maf***er. When you grow up, don't grow up to be like that maf***er right there."
• (J-Roc) "Randy, you a'int even had your ultrasound yet, have you dawg? I could do you right now."
• (J-Roc) "I hear chicken. I hear cola fizz, and mustard and relish coagulating together with french fries and onion rings, but you know what? I don't hear a heart, motherf***er. C'mon ladies, let's pack this s*** up. That's whack, Randy. Go on with your wallet. AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU, HAIRY BITCH."

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