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Twins (1988 film) Quotes

Twins (1988 film) is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Twins stopped airing in 1970.

It features Ivan Reitman as producer, Georges Delerue; Randy Edelman in charge of musical score, and Andrzej Bartkowiak as head of cinematography.

Twins (1988 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Twins (1988 film) is 107 minutes long. Twins (1988 film) is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Arnold Schwarzenegger as Julius Benedict, Danny DeVito as Vincent Benedict, Bonnie Bartlett as Mary Ann Benedict, Maury Chaykin as Burt Klane, Marshall Bell as Webster, Kelly Preston as Marnie Mason, Chloe Webb as Linda Mason, Tom McCleister as Bob Klane, David Efron as Morris Klane, Nehemiah Persoff as Mitchell Traven, and Trey Wilson as Beetroot McKinley.

Twins (1988 film) Quotes

Nehemiah Persoff as Mitchell Traven

  • (Nehemiah Persoff) "Well, Vincent. You turned out just like I thought you would. What'd you do, escape from prison?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "How'd you know my name?"
  • (Nehemiah Persoff) "I named you."

Trey Wilson as Beetroot McKinley

  • (Trey Wilson) "Beetroot McKinley talking. Who is this?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "Uh -- Webster; calling from California. I happen to have something, uh, some merchandise, that you, uh, that you might want."
  • (Trey Wilson) "Well, bring it to me, son. Let me enrich you."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Well, uh, Mr. Beetroot, it's the amount of enrichment that I wanted to talk about."
  • (Trey Wilson) "Don't try and renegotiate with old Beetroot, son."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Look, Beetroot, if we can't renegotiate, we wither and die. Look, there's no way Mr. Beetroot, that I am gonna deliver any damn Cadillac, unless I know for sure that I have -- TWENTY for my cut."
  • (Trey Wilson) "Twenty? You little s***-for-brains peckerwood. You're out of your god**** crazy diseased greedy mind."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Well, I guess that seems a little high for you."
  • (Trey Wilson) "YEAH."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Well, I'm a reasonable man, uh, how 'bout fifteen?"
  • (Trey Wilson) "The deal is FIVE."
  • (Danny DeVito) "FIVE? I can do better than five here."
  • (Trey Wilson) "If you can do better than five million dollars, then, son, you take it."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Beetroot, I'll see you in Houston. After all, fair is fair. I'll just have to find it in my heart to live with your offer."
  • (Trey Wilson) "Well, good."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Five MILLION. Five MILLION dollars. Five MILLION dollars."

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Julius Benedict

  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Wait a minute. You forgot the third rule in a crisis situation."
  • (Marshall Bell) "What third rule?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "Third rule?"
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Yeah, third rule."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Oooh. The third rule."
  • (Marshall Bell) "What's the third rule?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "Duck."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Yo. Holy shmoly. Now there's a man with a lot on his mind."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "I don't know what the problem is, but I'm sure it can be solved without resorting to violence."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "For the first time in my life, I'm -- pissed off."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Julius, don't do this to me. I got a car to deliver. The last thing I need is a detour to the slammer."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Thank you for the cookies. I look forward to tossing them."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Now the first rule in the crisis situation, you negotiate first and you attack last."
  • (Danny DeVito) "You negotiate first and then you attack?"
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "You never negotiated."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Ah hah."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "You don't know what kind of an enemy I am."
  • (David Efron) "Who are you?"
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Vincent's brother."
  • (Danny DeVito) "We're twins."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "That's right."
  • (David Efron) "You're firewood."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Axe, axe, axe, axe, axe."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "You have no respect for logic."
  • (Danny DeVito) "But he's got an axe."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "And I have no respect for those who have no respect for logic."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "You're a very stupid person."
  • (Danny DeVito) "You tell your brother, he messes with ME, he messes with my whole family."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "You moved too soon."
  • (Maury Chaykin) "What?"
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "The second rule in the crisis situation."
  • (David Efron) "Uh oh, he's starting that funny talk again."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "If you choose to bluff, you must be prepared to have your bluff called."
  • (Maury Chaykin) "This is no bluff."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "If you're lying to me, I'll be back."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "My name is Julius and I am your twin brother."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Oh, obviously. The moment I sat down I thought I was looking into a mirror."

Danny DeVito as Vincent Benedict

  • (Danny DeVito) "You could be a boxer or something. I could be your manager."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "No, I could never fight for money."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Well that's fine. You fight, I'll keep the money."
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Actually, I hate violence."
  • (Danny DeVito) "But you're so good at it."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Hello."
  • (Maury Chaykin) "Hey Vince, we haven't forgotten about you. You better have our money tomorrow morning, or else."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Or else WHAT, you blimp."
  • (Danny DeVito) "This must, uh, be where you made the milkshake."
  • (Nehemiah Persoff) "We weren't making milkshakes. We were making the most fully developed human the world has ever seen."
  • (Danny DeVito) "But instead of just one perfect kid, Mom had the two of us."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Way to go, Mom."
  • (Nehemiah Persoff) "Wrong. The embryo did split in two, but it didn't split equally. All the purity and strength went into Julius. All the crap that was left over went into what you see in the mirror every morning."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Wow, wow, wow, you're telling me that I'm the crap?"
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "This is not true, Vincent."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Wait a minute, Julius. I wanna hear this."
  • (Danny DeVito) "You're telling me that I am the left over crap? That I'm no good?"
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "HE'S WRONG."
  • (Nehemiah Persoff) "Look at him."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Are you saying that -- I'm a side effect."
  • (Danny DeVito) "The Klane boys. What an unpleasant surprise."
  • (Maury Chaykin) "Vince, this has gone way beyond a case of simple loan delinquency."
  • (Tom McCleister) "We don't like bein' shot."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Shot? Who shot ya?"
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "What do you want?"
  • (Maury Chaykin) "We want to take Vince out to the parking lot and kill him."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Don't you think that's a little drastic?"
  • (Danny DeVito) "Whoa, where you going with my desk?"
  • (Mover #1) "Takin' back this furniture, man."
  • (Mover #2) "You're six months behind."
  • (Danny DeVito) "You're behind. Six months behind. That's the problem. There's no trust in the world anymore."
  • (Danny DeVito) "Through the lips, over the gums --"
  • (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Look out stomach. Here it comes."
  • (Danny DeVito) "I got another six hours to pay the money back and tell the Klane brothers that harassing a man who's already in the slammer is beneath even them."

Kelly Preston as Marnie Mason

  • (Kelly Preston) "Vince."
  • (Kelly Preston) "I thought you broke up with him."
  • (Chloe Webb) "I did, I did."

Marshall Bell as Webster

  • (Marshall Bell) "Well what have we here? What a cute little kitty. So, where's Daddy?"
  • (Marshall Bell) "Well, well, well. Thank you very much --"

Bonnie Bartlett as Mary Ann Benedict

  • (Bonnie Bartlett) "You found each other, and you found me."

Chloe Webb as Linda Mason

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Maury Chaykin as Burt Klane

  • (Maury Chaykin) "Open up, Vince. Come on, we know you're in there, we just wanna talk to you."
  • (Tom McCleister) "Howdy."
  • (Maury Chaykin) "Who are you?"
  • (Marshall Bell) "That's not really important, is it? I was just feeding the cat and then I was gonna leave."
  • (Maury Chaykin) "I asked you a question."
  • (Marshall Bell) "Well who are you?"
  • (Tom McCleister) "We're the Klane Brothers. That's Burt, this is Morris, and I'm Bob."
  • (Marshall Bell) "Interesting gene pool."
  • (Maury Chaykin) "Don't cast aspersions of my family."
  • (Marshall Bell) "Oh I beg your pardon, but you're looking for Vince Benedict, right?"
  • (Maury Chaykin) "Right."
  • (Marshall Bell) "My Vince Benedict?"
  • (Marshall Bell) "So what difference does it make who I am?"

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