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Two Mules for Sister Sara Quotes

Two Mules for Sister Sara is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Two Mules for Sister Sara stopped airing in 1970.

It features Martin Rackin as producer, Ennio Morricone in charge of musical score, and Gabriel Figueroa as head of cinematography.

Two Mules for Sister Sara is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Two Mules for Sister Sara is 114 minutes long. Two Mules for Sister Sara is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Clint Eastwood as Hogan, Shirley MacLaine as Sara, and Alberto Morin as Gen. LeClair.

Two Mules for Sister Sara Quotes

Shirley MacLaine as Sara

  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Please, Mr. Hogan. Looking down from heights frightens me."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Then look up."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Oh, no, Mr Hogan. No.; Now, wait a minute. Remember I saved your life."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "I saved yours today, too."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I saved yours twice from the French."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "I saved yours twice; the arrow?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "What are you gonna do? Are you gonna desert me in my hour of need? What about that rattlesnake when you were hiding?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "That was easy, no risk at all."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Did I or did I not come to you in your hour of need? This is my hour of need."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "What kind of need is your need? All you have on your mind is money."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "What's more important than that?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "What are you doing?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I'm doing for you what no Holy Virgin's in any position to do."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Hah."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "We'll walk slowly so as not to stir up this stream bed any more than we have to."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Why did you put that dead man on the horse?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "A horse with a rider makes a deeper print than a horse without. If we're lucky, the French will follow those ponies. Here -- Eat this. I told you to eat something back there. Your stomach keeps growling, we'll have the whole French army on us."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "These little noises can't be heard. Why are you so angry with me?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Well -- maybe a nun ought not be so good-lookin'."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "The way I look is of no importance. I'm married to our Lord Jesus Christ."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "That's what I'm steamed up about, if you'll pardon my being frank."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "I'm not offended, Brother Hogan."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Don't "Brother" me."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Sober up. Sober up, you dirty bastard, or I'll kill ya'."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Sober up. You sober up, you dirty bastard or I'll kill you. Sit up. Now, tell me when to hold my breath -- Dear Mary, Mother of God, help this no-good atheist to shoot straight."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Hold your breath."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "What did I tell you? Did I or did I not hear you call me a bastard?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Well, I suppose whiskey can make a man hear anything. Dear Lord, forgive him for the impurity of his thoughts."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Mr. Hogan, you should be happy you're still alive. What do you want from life, anyway? A ranch? Cattle? What do you want?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "A ranch? You mean get up at sunrise, go to bed at sunset, rearin' the saddle all day. No thanks, sister, I'd rather be dead. No sister, there's this town called San Francisco that's booming. And if I get this stake, well, I'm gonna' open myself up the biggest gambling saloon in the whole area. With long red mahogany bars and green felt tables. And we'll play roulette, and dice and faurot and all those wonderful games. And I realize that doesn't mean much to you, but to me, that's livin'."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Some men have strange dreams."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Don't you want a woman of your own?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "What for?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "To share your name, bear your children, be a companion."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "To ask me to quit drinking, quit gambling and save my money? And to bitch about her aches and pains all day? No thanks."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "In Mexico a nun can travel safely among murderers and thieves."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "You make very good coffee."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "A man on his own has to take care of himself."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "So you're not married?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Nope."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Ever been?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Nope."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Want to be?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Nope."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Don't you want a woman of your own?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "What for?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Share your name, bear your children, be a companion?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "To ask me to quit drinkin', quit gamblin', save my money and to bitch about her aches and pains? No, thanks."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "The least you can do is take off your hat."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Haven't got time for that."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "It's hard to believe that rattlesnake could taste so delicious."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "If I climb that trestle, I'll fall."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "A fine, psalm-singin' hypocrite you are. The French are gonna' slaughter a whole outfit of your Juaristas, and you're the only one who can help 'em. And you won't climb one lousy, stinkin' trestle."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Dear Mary, Mother of God, help this no-good atheist to shoot straight."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Alright, Mr. Mule. You know you were right. You are as stubborn as my mule."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Hello, Mr Hogan."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "How do, Sister?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Glad to see you're back safe."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Waiting for the dynamite?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "And you."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "What, me personal?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Mm, I missed you. Yeah."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "It's felt kinda wrong the past few days not having you slowing me up."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Did it?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Yeah, damn it."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "What's the matter?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Well, you see, there's a problem, Sister -- I should have never met up with you in the first place."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Why did you put that dead man on the horse?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Because a horse with a rider makes a deeper print than a horse without a rider. If we're lucky, the French will follow THOSE ponies."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "You're getting drunk again, are you?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Oh, I never get drunk unless I'm shot by Yaquis."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Then why the tequila?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Just to oil up my arm. That's all."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "We have to get that trap door open, too, don't we?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "You know what you're talkin' about's crazy, Sara."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Listen, Hogan, everybody's got a right to be a sucker once."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "We'd better hurry -- I've never seen a train blown to hell-and-gone before."

Clint Eastwood as Hogan

  • (Clint Eastwood) "Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "In any army I ever knew, a colonel commands a full regiment."
  • (Col. Beltran) "Yes, in a parade. But not with the fighting we've been through."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I ride from sunup to sundown. You either keep up or you don't. You'll feel better after a few hours on your mule."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "What about those feelings your god gave every woman, including you? I've always wondered. Well, we're human, of course."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "When we get those feelings, we pray until they pass."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "In your case, just how much praying does that take? What about before you became a nun? Did you ever have a man?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "No"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Ever been kissed by one?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "No"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Haven't you ever laid awake wondering what it would be like?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "No"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "All the women I've ever met were natural-born liars but I never knew about nuns till now."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "You're right. I lied."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I'll say one thing, Sister. I sure woulda liked to have met up with you before you took to them clothes and them vows."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Your mule?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Yes."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "No provisions, no canteen? Just how'd you figure on existing?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "I was confident the Lord would provide."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Three more like them?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "He also provided you."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "When I give the signal, you get ready to move."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "This little cottontail wishes she had that cross back."
  • (Col. Beltran) "This is better than killing each other, no?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I only figured there was going to be one funeral -- Catholic."
  • (Col. Beltran) "Oh? I didn't know you were Catholic."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "How 'bout you, ma'am? Haven't you ever wanted to be a whole woman? Have a man make love to you? Have children?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "I've chosen a different way of life."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Well, what about when you get those feelings that your God gave every woman, including you? You know, I always wondered about that."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Well, we're human, of course. When we get those feelings, uh -- we pray until they pass."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "In your case, sister, just how much prayin' does that take?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Lady if you weren't a nun, I'd let you save your own bacon."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "What the hell is a nun doing out here?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) ""That's right you are married to a carpenter.""
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Those damned Yaquis."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Come on."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "They split up, damn it, and they're catchin' up. I wouldn't just sit there, move."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "We can't outrun 'em. You can get in here."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I may not shoot all of them but I'll get their attention. Wait, then head on out the other way."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "You've been a wonderful friend, Mr Hogan. Go with God."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Leave Him out of this, huh? Get movin'."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "By the way, Sister, I guess I owe you an apology. When I was trying to get you up the tree, I --"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Oh, no apology is necessary, Mr. Hogan. In emergencies, the Church grants dispensation. It's no sin that you pushed me up the tree with your hands on my ass."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Where'd you learn that kind of English?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "What kind?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) ""Ass.""
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Oh, in the convent. Sister Harriet taught us words for parts of the body. This part she called the ass."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Where is this Sister Harriet from, anyway?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "New Orleans. Why?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I'd sure as hell like to know what she did before she became a nun."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I told you I was stayin' in this deal, colonel. 'Cause you know that nobody over in Texas is gonna' sell a load of dynamite to a Mexican."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I don't know if this arrow's near my heart; I don't think so. Of course -- some women say my heart ain't exactly in the right place."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "You know, when you got me into this thing, you told me you had no artillery. What about dynamite? You have any of that?"
  • (Col. Beltran) "None."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Less than a hundred rifles, a few machetes, and not much more -- Even drunk, the French are gonna' blow your heads off."
  • (Col. Beltran) "You don't know my men. Each one of them tough, courageous and a Mexican patriot."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Hmm -- Isn't that sweet? Well, I happen to be a Hogan patriot, and I'd like to have some dynamite workin' with me."
  • (Col. Beltran) "I will welcome all you can get. You show me the tree that it's growing on, and I will have my men pick it."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Now what're you doing?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "I must say a prayer at this shrine."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "You said your prayers last night and this morning. You're gonna' wear 'em out."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "It's a sin to pass a shrine without praying."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Not if you close your eyes, it isn't."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Please, Mr. Hogan."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "All right. It's a small shrine. Let's make it a small prayer."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Sara, open up."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "I'm taking a bath."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Well, get out of the bath."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Will you come back later? I want to be all dressed up for you."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Who the hell wants to see you dressed?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Sister if you wanna bless em you bless em dry."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "All the women I've ever known were natural-born liars but I never knew about nuns until now."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Sister Sara, you're gonna slow me up some, but I'm gonna take you to one of those guerilla bands you're looking for."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Do you belong to one of them?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Till I get paid, yeah."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Paid? You mean in gold?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Well, let's put it this way: they pay me off in tortillas, I'm gonna shoot 'em right in the eye."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "But the Juaristas are too poor to hire anybody."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Well, I made a deal to work out a plan to take the garrison. If it pays off then I get half the French treasury."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Then you don't have any sympathy for their cause?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Not theirs or anybody else's. See I spent two years in a war in the States. Right now, all I'm interested in is money."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "If money is all you care about then why did you fight in that war?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Did I or did I not hear you call me a bastard?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Well. I suppose whiskey can make a man hear anything. Oh, Dear Lord, forgive him for the impurity of his thoughts."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Sister. This here is a cathouse."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Oh no, Hogan. This is no cathouse. This is the best whorehouse in town."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Sister, I don't mind shootin' em' for ya, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sweat over 'em for ya."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Remember what I told you about accidents? We didn't have to run across those damn Yaquis but we did. No miracle, just a rotten, lousy accident that's gonna cost me my whole deal. Get me up straight. Get me up straight. You are a beautiful woman, Sister Sara. You feel like a beautiful woman, you smell like beautiful woman."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Please, Mr Hogan."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I can't help thinking, that first time I saw you and you were almost naked --"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "You must forget that."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I can't, my beautiful Sister. I don't want to forget. Every night when we bed down next to each other I think of you that way and I want to reach out and touch you and hold you and feel you."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "I forgive you because I know that if you weren't drunk --"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Maybe. Maybe so. But you can't stop a man from wishing. I sure wish you weren't a nun."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Please, Mr Hogan."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "All right."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "You let me down, Sister. You let me down."
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "Then why don't you get on your horse?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Because --"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "You're too drunk to ride alone. I'll have to get on with you. Hold on to the mane. Lean back against me. Lean back. Tell your horse to get moving."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I like being in the arms of a good-looking nun. How do you like it, Sister?"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "The Church allows this for your safety but you may not take liberties."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I apologise, ma'am. I most sincerely do."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "I don't mind killing em for ya, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sweat over em."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "Your mule for that burro? Well, if that gentleman traded you even, you won't be meetin' up with him in heaven."

Alberto Morin as Gen. LeClair

  • (Alberto Morin) "To your virtues -- and especially your vices, Sara"
  • (Alberto Morin) "You didn't know we had posted a reward?"
  • (Clint Eastwood) "A reward?"
  • (Alberto Morin) "200 gold francs."
  • (Clint Eastwood) "How about that? Better than a stab in the eye with a sharp stick."

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