Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Quotes

Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps is a television show that was first aired in 2001 on BBC Two . Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps ended in 2011.

Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps was on for 80 episodes. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps is created by Susan Nickson.

Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps is 30-45 minutes long.

Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Quotes

• (Unnamed) "I'm fine with porn. What I'm not fine with is enough porn to keep the entire British forces from missing their girlfriends."

• (Unnamed) "I heard the sound of tumbling biscuits."

• (Unnamed) "I need a sort of -- a sort of chunky woman, you know, who brings me sandwiches and puts Matey in me bath."

• (Unnamed) "Fancy a bit of "role play", then? My sleeping beauty, I am your prince and shall awaken you with my mighty sword."
• (Unnamed) "I'm going to stab you with it."

• (Unnamed) "I got into his head. It's amazing what a bit of male psychological manipulation can do. And getting my baps out on the first date didn't do any harm either --"

• (Unnamed) "You've never practiced safe sex in your life. You've picked up more dirt than a JCB in your time."

• (Unnamed) "My daughter will want for nothing. She'll have dollies-a-plenty. And bears but no clowns, they scare me. And on a perfect summer's eve, when the sun dances like -- Michael Flatley -- after our dinner of spaghetti hoops, we shall run like Billy-ho himself, down to a sea so calm it would make Des Lynam look like a big, scary wolfman. She will be the most cherished little girl in the whole world. My little Ferrari."
• (Unnamed) "Jonny, I'm not pregnant."
• (Unnamed) "Oh thank f*** for that."

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