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Undead or Alive Quotes

Undead or Alive is a TV show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Undead or Alive ended in 1970.

It features Deborah Del Prete as producer, Ivan Koutikov in charge of musical score, and Thomas L. Callaway as head of cinematography.

Undead or Alive is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Undead or Alive is 91 minutes long. Undead or Alive is distributed by Image Entertainment.

The cast includes: James Denton as Elmer, Navi Rawat as Sue, Chris Kattan as Luke, Matt Besser as Claypool, and Chris Coppola as Cletus.

Undead or Alive Quotes

Chris Kattan as Luke

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Matt Besser as Claypool

  • (Matt Besser) "Damnit Cletus. What are you doing out there. making a 10-pound ass baby?"
  • (Chris Coppola) "I'm sorry sheriff. I was trying to pee."
  • (Matt Besser) "How did that go, genius? You figure it all out?"
  • (Chris Coppola) "I think that thing we got might be worse than what we thought."
  • (Matt Besser) "What the f*** are you handing me? A dead baby field mouse?"
  • (Chris Coppola) "It ain't a dead baby field mouse."
  • (Matt Besser) "You just made me touch your penis."
  • (Matt Besser) "You say another word and I'm gonna shoot that jaw clean off your face. Then I'm gonna take a s*** in your chin hole."

James Denton as Elmer

  • (James Denton) "Why are we at the Grand Canyon?"
  • (Navi Rawat) "The Colorado River is at the bottom of the Grand Canyon."
  • (Navi Rawat) "Is this news to both of you?"
  • (James Denton) "Geography wasn't my thing. I was more of an arts and music guy."
  • (Chris Kattan) "I was remedial."
  • (Navi Rawat) "Yeah, but everybody knows that the Colorado River is at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I thought you were taking me to a fort at a crossing?"
  • (Chris Kattan) "Sue, please don't yell. He's the one who told you about the army and the fort and all that stuff. That's the first I ever heard of it."
  • (Navi Rawat) "You were lying?"
  • (James Denton) "No, I wasn't lying. He's the one that's supposed to know this country like the back of his hand. I figured once we reached the Colorado it was either left or right to the fort. Personally, I was gonna go straight and let you take it from there with your suicide plot against the U.S. Army."
  • (Navi Rawat) "I should've left you two for the Cursed."
  • (James Denton) "It was your crazy uncle Geronimo set 'em loose. So I don't see either one of us is to blame for our problems right now."
  • (Navi Rawat) "You wanna blame me for my uncle's curse? I'm not the one who drove him off a cliff, soldier. And if I hadn't've found you two idiots, they would have. I hope this plague kills all of you white people."
  • (James Denton) "I ain't that big a fan of white people either, sister. At least we got f***ing wheels."
  • (Navi Rawat) "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
  • (James Denton) "Wheels -- the basic benchmark of civilization. You Indians are supposed to be so great and wise and everything; and I got sympathy for your situation, I do. But you'd still be dragging everything on the ground if we hadn't've brought wheels into this country. And horses. The f***ing Spanish brought you your horses, did you know that? Before they got here, you was just a bunch of savages in diapers dragging all your s*** around on sticks and blankets."
  • (Navi Rawat) "That is so ignorant."
  • (James Denton) "Seems like you like our guns too; and I ain't even gonna start on the fire water s***."
  • (Navi Rawat) "Did you invent the wheel, Elmer? No, you didn't. But you're gonna take personal credit for Western Civilization? Your monkey ancestors happened to be born in an area with abundant founder crops; big, slow ruminants, and a lateral continental axis that allowed for the development of agriculture, writing and maritime technology. Not to mention cross-species plagues, which are the real weapons of European conquest. So you invented smallpox; nice going dick."
  • (Chris Kattan) "Monkey ancestors?"
  • (Navi Rawat) "Oh, Jesus Christ. Read a book."
  • (James Denton) "What the hell kinda crazy book is that s*** in?"

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