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Undercover Brother Quotes

Undercover Brother is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Undercover Brother ended its run in 1970.

It features Brian Grazer as producer, Stanley Clarke in charge of musical score, and Tom Priestley Jr. as head of cinematography.

Undercover Brother is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Undercover Brother is 88 minutes long. Undercover Brother is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Aunjanue Ellis as Sistah Girl, Dave Chappelle as Conspiracy Brother, Eddie Griffin as Undercover Brother, Gary Anthony Williams as Smart Brother, Chi McBride as The Chief, Chris Kattan as Mr. Feather, Denise Richards as White She-Devil, Neil Patrick Harris as Lance, Denise Richards as Penelope Snow, Robert Trumbull as Man, and Robert Trumbull as The Man.

Undercover Brother Quotes

Chi McBride as The Chief

  • (Chi McBride) "What the hell you doing bringing a white girl up in my house, boy?"
  • (Chi McBride) "Jay-Z to cover Lawrence Welk's greatest hits? John Singleton to remake "Driving Miss Daisy"? Terry McMillan; "How Stella got her White Man Back"? Double damn it. Black people all over the world are losin' their damn minds."
  • (Chi McBride) "Today is a great day for black people of all races."
  • (Chi McBride) "I'm tired of you disrespecting me. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire your black-ass?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Because I -- don't -- work for you?"
  • (Chi McBride) "SHUT UP. Save the smart comments for the chunky brother in the smock."
  • (Chi McBride) "Smart Brother, you're so damn smart. Can you tell us what the Hell just happened?"
  • (Gary Anthony Williams) "Well, uh, I, uh, um --"
  • (Chi McBride) "Well, um, I, uh -- Shut up. If I wanted to hear something stupid, I'd ask his skinny Black Ass."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Ha, ha. In your face. Ha. Skinny black -- HEY."

Denise Richards as Penelope Snow

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Neil Patrick Harris as Lance

  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "So let me get this straight; whenever a black guy does well, starts wearing Dockers, buys a few Celine Dion records, and sleeps with a White chick, you automatically say he's sold out?"
  • (Chi McBride) "That's enough, Lance."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "Always trying to shut the white man down."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "THAT'S RIGHT. That's Right --. Oh, that ain't right."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "I have stood on the sidelines of race relations long enough. I want to march down that field of oppression and kick that ball of bigotry right over the goalpost of intolerance."
  • (Chi McBride) "Son, you talk a lot of s***."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "Yes, I do."
  • (Chi McBride) "But you down."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "I feel black."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "But you look white -- don't touch me."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "It looks like the Source Awards in here --"
  • (Dave Chappelle) "It does now."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "They shouldn't have called me a sissy."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "We gotta get the hell out of here. We're gonna die. We're all gonna die."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Dig it --"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "-- and dig it hard."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "Daddy --"
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "I -- am not -- a sissy."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "Chief, and various brother agents. I owe all of you a huge apology. I just watched a show, ummm, Roots, maybe you've heard of it? It taught me such a profound lesson about bigotry. I have stood on the sidelines of race relations long enough. I want to march down that field of oppression and kick that ball of bigotry right over the goalpost of intolerance."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "This isn't Taco Bell. Oh, man --"

Eddie Griffin as Undercover Brother

  • (Eddie Griffin) "There are times for falling apart, and there are times for getting' funky. This is one of them funky times. So what's it gonna be? You ready to play some funky music, white boy?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "You know what they say, behind every great black man --"
  • (Dave Chappelle) "is the police."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "No."
  • (Gary Anthony Williams) "A bunch of slow white athletes?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "No."
  • (Denise Richards) "A cute butt."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "NO."
  • (Neil Patrick Harris) "Probable cause."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "What it is, chief?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Hi."
  • (Dave Chappelle) ""Hi"? What you mean "hi"? Like "high yellow wanna be white"? "High" like the white man wants to keep us? Wait, you don't smell any weed on me, do you?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Brother, when you get a minute, could I get a list of the words that trigger these fits?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Solid."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Wait a minute, how'd the white boy get a job at "the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D."?"
  • (Chi McBride) "s***, what can I say? Affirmative action."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Water cold. Water cold."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Are you telling me there really is a Man'?"
  • (Dave Chappelle) "What do you think? Things don't just happen by accident. Sometimes people; mostly white people; make things happen."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "So the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are true? The NBA really did institute the three point shot to give white boys a chance?"
  • (Gary Anthony Williams) "Absolutely."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Then the entertainment industry really is out to get Spike Lee?"
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Come on man. Even Cher's won an Oscar. Cher."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Then O.J. really didn't do it?"
  • (Chi McBride) "We -- we ain't got time for this."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Honey, is that Michael Bolton's version of "The Thong Song"?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Extra mayonnaise for me please."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "You mess with the 'fro, you got to go."

Dave Chappelle as Conspiracy Brother

  • (Dave Chappelle) "Oh, s***. It's Macy Gray with Porkchop Sideburns."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "No, it's once your black there's no turning back."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Atomic Coré -- let's see what this so-called button does --"
  • (Unnamed) "Attention. Atomic core set to overload"
  • (Dave Chappelle) "My bad."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "You know he does have point about that Colonel. I never trusted the Colonel. Slaves cooked that chicken. Aint no white man know anything about herbs and spices and gibblits."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Smart brother? Am I gonna die?"
  • (Dave Chappelle) "The computer, another idea stolen from the black man."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "That's Right. It's goin' to the streets. Hey y'all. It's revolution up in this Bitch. Set the alarm for Defcon 5. It's on, baby -- it's on."
  • (Chi McBride) "Good work, White She-Devil. Oh, and you in too."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "What the f***? Chief. I've never seen this bitch in my agent classes. I'm still paying the loans off, man. I sleep on a pissy mattress. I ain't got good food to eat. I borough money for my Weed. I quit. That's it. Y'all ain't got Conspiracy Brother Jones to kick around no more. Give me a pillow case -- I'm joining the Klan."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "George Washington Carver made the first computer. Out of a peanut. A PEA-NUT."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Jesus Christ: black man. Babe Ruth: black man. Madonna: -- slept with black men."

Gary Anthony Williams as Smart Brother

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Robert Trumbull as The Man

  • (Robert Trumbull) "Congratulations, Mr. Feather."
  • (Chris Kattan) "Thank you, Mister -- The Man."
  • (Robert Trumbull) "That Feather went out like a sucka. Punk-assed bitch played himself. Let's bounce, dog."
  • (Robert Trumbull) "Identify yourselfs."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "I'm with Island Fortress Cleaning Service sir."
  • (Robert Trumbull) "Oh, okay."
  • (Aunjanue Ellis) "Thank you. Your so sweet."

Chris Kattan as Mr. Feather

  • (Chris Kattan) "It's time to unleash our secret weapon; I call it "Black-man's Kryptonite""
  • (Chris Kattan) "Who's there?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Kung."
  • (Chris Kattan) "Kung who?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Kung Fu."
  • (James Brown) "Say it loud."
  • (Chris Kattan) "I'm black and I'm proud."
  • (Chris Kattan) "You see what's happening, don't you? How we're being corrupted by their hipper-than-thou fashion and cool slang you can't help but use?"
  • (Chris Kattan) "Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here."

Aunjanue Ellis as Sistah Girl

  • (Aunjanue Ellis) "Great, a Soul Train reject, with a Robin Hood complex."
  • (Aunjanue Ellis) "He had sex with a white girl, that's what."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Was it everything I dreamed of?"
  • (Aunjanue Ellis) "Excuse me?"
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Naw man, you can't be doing that --"
  • (Aunjanue Ellis) "He had sex wit' a white girl."
  • (Aunjanue Ellis) "Undecover Brother, are you OK?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Everythings cool, now that your here Sistah Girl."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "See what I've been dealing with?"
  • (Aunjanue Ellis) "Yeah --"

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