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Waking Ned Quotes

Waking Ned is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Waking Ned completed its run in 1970.

It features Richard Holmes (producer) as producer, Shaun Davey in charge of musical score, and Henry Braham as head of cinematography.

Waking Ned is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Waking Ned is 91 minutes long. Waking Ned is distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures.

Waking Ned Quotes

  • (Annie O'Shea) "Have we won?"
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "No, but it got my apple tart brought in now didn't it."
  • (Narrator) "Saturday evening, and the universe is much the same as at any other point in the history of the world. The planets and stars orbit and spin, and do everything that is expected of them. On earth, as the sun sets, millions prepare for a weekly event that is much less predictable. In sixty three countries around the world, dozens of lottery machines spin hundreds of lottery balls. It takes seconds for the winning numbers to be selected -- seconds for the losers to realize they've lost. But for the winners, it is an event that will undoubtedly change their lives forever -- lucky sods."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "If I'd have known how much was won, I'd never have started in the first place. Oh Lord, this is getting awful serious."
  • (Kitty) "Yoo-hoo. It's not me Christmas card already is it, Michael?"
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "Christmas has come early this year, Kitty."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "Is this a fact, Jackie? A winner in the village?"
  • (Annie O'Shea) "You're a country boy, Jackie. Do you think you can think you can outsmart the man from the city?"
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "It's a premonition, Michael. A vision."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "It's a chicken dinner."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "It's obvious Michael. He wants us to claim the money. Share the chicken dinner. Share the winnings."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "What a great man he was."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Yeah, and his spirit's in me head."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "What'll you do with the ticket?"
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Well, he wrote his name in the back Michael. We pretend to be Ned, and we claim the half million."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "Will you excuse me just a minute, will you Jim? I have a bit of an upset tummy coming on."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Is there a greater twist of fate Annie? To win half a million and the next minute die from the shock of it."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Go on, ask me another one. Use your imagination."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "How old are you, Ned?"
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "I'm sixty six, Sir."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "He survived all those storms to be washed away by a few plastic lottery balls."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "There's the man."
  • (Pig Finn) "Hey boys. Hey boys."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "How are ya? The old sparkle in your eye, ey?"
  • (Pig Finn) "You're a devil Jackie. Geez Jackie, you must have a terrible thirst on ya tonight. I've never seen a man drink two pints at the same time."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "This is yours Finn. I bought you a pint so."
  • (Pig Finn) "You're joking me? Well, you've never bought me a pint."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Well, I've always bought you home many a night."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "And I bought you a packet of your favorite Mexican crisps."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "Well he must have been a great man, this Michael fellow."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "He had his faults."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "Lizzy Quinn, the witch. If the village finds out, she'll burn."
  • (Annie O'Shea) "So, Kitty, how did you like your breast?"
  • (Kitty) "My breast Annie, was tasty as."
  • (Jim Kelly) "I'll just have to come back to the village and make some enquiries. To make sure that you are Ned Devine."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "I think there's a right turn coming up here. Could you drive a little slower mister, please?"
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "Has the news reached Tullymore?"
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Not even Dublin's figured it out yet, so nobody knows but the winner."
  • (Pig Finn) "I've been using some fruity soaps, Maggie."
  • (Maggie O'Toole) "I've noticed. Well, come on then -- Let's get closer."
  • (Pig Finn) "Oh, yes please, Maggie."
  • (Unnamed) "Hello. National Lotto. Maureen speaking. How may I help you?"
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Yes, Maureen, Hello. I wanted to talk to someone about a claim that I'll be making."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "And don't take it personally, Finn, but I bought you some expensive, fruity soaps. Take them home, try them out."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "Take a drink and remember the man."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "And raise your spirits to the sky. Raise them to Ned Devine. God bless you Ned, and may we be forever in your debt."
  • (Pig Finn) "To Ned Devine."
  • (Pig Finn) "To Ned."
  • (Maurice O'Toole) "To Ned."
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "A big win is it?"
  • (Jim Kelly) "Ned, you've won six million eight hundred and ninety four thousand, six hundred and twenty pounds. How does that make you feel? Take your time now, there's no rush. It's a great shock to the system I know. Just give yourself a moment to get used to the idea. So what do you think, Ned? Well it was a roll over week. The jackpot wasn't won last week, so they carried it over to this week, and you were the only winner. Were you aware of that, Ned?"
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "No."
  • (Annie O'Shea) "But he's never told a lie in his life."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Well, he's making up for it now."
  • (Jim Kelly) "Would you happen to know a Ned Devine?"
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Ned Devine?"
  • (Jim Kelly) "Ned Devine. Do you know him?"
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "I do. I do. Is it Ned you wanted?"
  • (Jim Kelly) "It is, yeah."
  • (Jackie O'Shea) "Well, I can take you to Ned Devine's house if you want."
  • (Jim Kelly) "That'll be very good of you. Why don't you jump in the car?"
  • (Michael O'Sullivan) "Sweet Jesus."

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