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Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story Quotes

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story ended in 1970.

It features Judd Apatow as producer, Michael Andrews (musician) in charge of musical score, and Uta Briesewitz as head of cinematography.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story is 96 minutes long. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: John C. Reilly as Dewey Cox, Jenna Fischer as Darlene, Chris Parnell as Theo, Matt Besser as Dave, Tim Meadows as Sam, Jack White as Elvis Presley, Kristen Wiig as Edith, Margo Martindale as Ma Cox, Gerry Bednob as The Maharishi, Jack Black as Paul McCartney, Paul Rudd as John Lennon, Justin Long as George Harrison, Jason Schwartzman as Ringo Starr, Rance Howard as Preacher, Raymond J. Barry as Pa Cox, and Chip Hormess as Nate.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story Quotes

Tim Meadows as Sam

  • (Tim Meadows) "Sam? What you all doing in here?"
  • (Tim Meadows) "Dewey, get out of here. You don't want no part of this s***."
  • (John C. Reilly) "What is it?"
  • (Tim Meadows) "It's medication for erectile dysfunction, it gives you a boner. Not to be used if you have a pre-existing heart condition. If boners last more than four hours, call more ladies."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Well, that does sound tempting, but you know what, Sam? I really don't want no part of that s***."
  • (Tim Meadows) "Did you hear what I said? It gives you a boner."
  • (Tim Meadows) "Get out of here Dewey."
  • (John C. Reilly) "What are y'all doing in here?"
  • (Tim Meadows) "It's called cocaine. And you don't want no part of this s***."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Cucaine?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "What's it do?"
  • (Tim Meadows) "It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I'm thinking maybe I'd like to try me some of that cucaine."

Jenna Fischer as Darlene

  • (Jenna Fischer) "Ok. Let's go drop acid with The Beatles."
  • (Jenna Fischer) "You know I suffer the same temptations you do. Sometimes when I'm lyin' in bed, I ache for a man's touch -- and by a man's touch, I mean a penis in my vagina."

John C. Reilly as Dewey Cox

  • (John C. Reilly) "So you've never done nothin' you shouldn't've done to me?"
  • (Kristen Wiig) "What have I ever done to you?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "Like that time you woke up in the middle of the night and drank up all the milk. And then I got up to have my corn flakes and there was none left."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "Dewey, you cheated on me."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Oh, so I'm a cheater, but you can just drink up all the milk."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I think I'm doing okay for a 15 year old with a wife and a baby."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Baby, you don't know what it's like out there on the road. It's lonely out there. Edith, I can't be alone."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "Yeah, well maybe you should've thought about that before you went and got double married."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Is that what this is about?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "Edith, I am starting to think -- that maybe you don't believe in me."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "I do believe in you. I just know you're gonna fail."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Alright again. Faster."
  • (Matt Besser) "This is crazy, Dewey. Ain't nobody gonna wanna listen to music like this. You're standing there playing as fast as you can, singing like some sort of -- punk."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Don't you dare try to stifle me. Who's band is this anyway? You cocksucker. I'll punch you in the mouth."
  • (Record Producer) "Alright. Oh please, stop that. Stop your singing. Stop your singing this instant, young man. I will not have this in my studio. That's just a terrible, terrible, terrible -- terrible "That's Amore.""
  • (John C. Reilly) "Um, maybe it was the wrong song choice. If you'd just let me play one of my songs that I wrote, I think you'd like it a whole lot better."
  • (Record Producer) "You have failed conclusively. It's over. And there is nothing that you can do, here in this room -- that can turn that around. Nothing you can do that can make up for what you just did to "That's Amore.""
  • (John C. Reilly) "Well, my mother liked it a whole lot."
  • (Record Producer) "Your mother was wrong."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Nate."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Ahh. Nate?"
  • (Older Nate) "This is what I'd look like had I grown up into an adult -- and perhaps h-hadn't been murdered or whatever. I just came to tell you, you need to get your s*** together."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I know. I've fallen again."
  • (Older Nate) "Will you listen to yourself? You keep whining like a little bitch. If I was alive right now, I'd be the f***in' president. Of the United States. I'd be on the moon walkin' around lookin' for aliens to kill."
  • (John C. Reilly) "What?"
  • (Older Nate) "You know why Dad liked me better than you? Cause I was better than you. When I played the piano, I was f***in' awesome."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Oh, you think it's been easy for me? Since you're gone I got no sense of smell."
  • (Older Nate) "Oh you got no sense of smell? Can't smell anything? Ya can't smell anything?"
  • (Older Nate) "I got no sense of having legs Dewey. I have no life. I'm dead. Because somebody, I'm not gonna point out names right now, decided to murder me with a machete."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Nate --"
  • (Older Nate) "I can't even smell, touch, feel, I can't even masturbate. You ever tried to jerk off with a ghost hand? Nothing."
  • (John C. Reilly) "In my dreams, you're blowing me -- some kisses."
  • (Jenna Fischer) "That's one of my favorite things to do."
  • (John C. Reilly) "You and I could go down -- in history."
  • (Jenna Fischer) "That's what I'm praying to do with you."
  • (Press Conference Reporter) "What do your parents think about your protest songs?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "What do your parents think about my protest songs? Mr. "Time Magazine.""
  • (John C. Reilly) "I had it all -- I had it all -- and then I f***ed up."
  • (John C. Reilly) "It's still not finished yet. I'm hearing -- more Aboriginal percussionists. And I want an army of digeridoos. Fifty thousand digeridoos."
  • (John C. Reilly) "What happened?"
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "I'll tell you what happened. We were reading for bed when your song comes on the radio."
  • (Margo Martindale) "It's Dewey. Your son is talented. You should be proud."
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "Well, I must admit. It is kind of -- catchy."
  • (Margo Martindale) "Dance with me Pa."
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "It does make you kind of want to move, doesn't it?"
  • (Margo Martindale) "It sure does."
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "Maybe I have been kind of hard on little Dewey."
  • (Margo Martindale) "Maybe you have."
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "You alright, ma?"
  • (Margo Martindale) "I'm alright."
  • (John C. Reilly) "She lost her balance -- and fell out the window -- and then the radio crushed her head?"
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "While she was dancing to your song. I thought you should know what your music does. It kills people. You made her happy, and it killed her. If Nate was alive this never would of happened."
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "Wrong kid died."
  • (Nurse - Rehab) "Doctor. Doctor."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I'm so cold."
  • (Rehab Doctor) "We need more blankets."
  • (Nurse - Rehab) "We need more blankets."
  • (Nurse - Rehab) "Doctor."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I'm so hot."
  • (Nurse - Rehab) "I think he has too many blankets."
  • (Rehab Doctor) "Fewer blankets."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I'm hot and cold at the same time."
  • (Nurse - Rehab) "He needs more blankets and he needs less blankets."
  • (Rehab Doctor) "I'm afraid you're right."
  • (John C. Reilly) "Springburry ain't big enough for me no more. I reckon it's time for Dewey Cox to move on."
  • (Margo Martindale) "But y-you're only 14?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "Mama, I love you. But I don't need nobody. All I need is my music. I've seen my path today, and I'm gonna take it, and some day, I'll make my masterpiece, and you'll all be proud of me. Just like you were of Nate."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "Can I come, Dewey?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "Of course you can, Edith. You're my girlfriend."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "I am?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "Yes, silly. I pointed at you in the audience."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "Did you hear that? I'm Dewey's 12 year-old girlfriend."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I'll tell you, I've had it. I've had it with all this crap. You took her side every time. All you care about is fruit, and touching yourself. Well f*** you."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I don't need people around me, stifling me. So if you don't like it, there's the door."
  • (Chris Parnell) "Dewey, are you sayin' you don't need us no more?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "Not unless you can open your minds -- and learn to play the f***ing theremin."
  • (Chris Parnell) "f*** YOU DEWEY."
  • (Matt Besser) "Yeah, f*** you Dewey. In twenty years, not once have you thrown a woman my way. You don't think we like cheating on our wives too?"
  • (Tim Meadows) "And you never once paid for drugs. Not once."
  • (Matt Besser) "You pay that chimp more than you pay us. I had to borrow from the chimp to get a mortgage on my house."
  • (Chris Parnell) "And those stupid siamese glass cats you get us every year for Christmas. I don't want anymore siamese glass cats."
  • (John C. Reilly) "The siamese cat is a symbol of nobility in Ancient Egypt."
  • (Tim Meadows) "f*** nobility."
  • (Matt Besser) "f*** Ancient Egypt."
  • (Chris Parnell) "-- f*** cats."
  • (Tim Meadows) "And you never paid for drugs. Not once."
  • (Matt Besser) "You slept with my wife."
  • (Chris Parnell) "You slept with me too. And I've had confused feelings about that for ten years now."
  • (Tim Meadows) "And you never once paid for drugs --. Not once."
  • (John C. Reilly) "You know what? Go ahead. Take the children, I don't care. All I need is my music. I don't need you."
  • (John C. Reilly) "And I don't need "you". And I don't need "you". And I don't need "you". You're just sitting there all high and mighty in your diaper. If anything, you need me, you're a baby."

Kristen Wiig as Edith

  • (Kristen Wiig) "What about my dreams?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "Edith I told you I can't build your candy house. It will fall apart, the sun will melt the candy, it won't work."
  • (Kristen Wiig) "It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey."
  • (John C. Reilly) "What about if, if you're famous?"

Gerry Bednob as The Maharishi

  • (Gerry Bednob) "Only through meditation can we begin to understand our role."
  • (Jack Black) "We're nothing but -- grains of sand."
  • (John C. Reilly) "That was freakin' transcendental, Paul McCartney. Don't you agree, John Lennon?"
  • (Paul Rudd) "Yes, Dewey Cox. With meditation there's no limit to what we can --"
  • (Paul Rudd) "imagine."
  • (John C. Reilly) "What do you think, George Harrison of The Beatles?"
  • (Justin Long) "I don't know. You know? I'm just trying to get more songs on the album."
  • (Jason Schwartzman) "And as Ringo Starr, I'm not so interested in meditation, I just like to have fun."
  • (John C. Reilly) "I like the little one."

Raymond J. Barry as Pa Cox

  • (Raymond J. Barry) "I'm sorry, Dewey. I just never realized until just this moment how easy it is to cut someone in half with a machete."
  • (John C. Reilly) "It is, right?"

Paul Rudd as John Lennon

  • (Paul Rudd) "I wonder if your songs will still be s*** "When I'm Sixty-four.""

Chip Hormess as Nate

  • (Chip Hormess) "Dewey, I'm cut in half pretty bad."

Margo Martindale as Ma Cox

  • (Margo Martindale) "I'm just so glad you learned to play the guitar so good -- even without having a sense of smell."
  • (John C. Reilly) "It's okay mama, I learned how to play by ear."

Justin Long as George Harrison

  • (Justin Long) "I just sit here while my guitar quietly wimpers."
  • (Jack Black) "Well you are the quiet one so why don't you shut the f*** up."
  • (Jason Schwartzman) "I've got a song about an octopus."
  • (Paul Rudd) "Jam it up your ass. You're lucky we still let you play the drums."

Jack White as Elvis Presley

  • (Jack White) "It's called Karate, man. Only two kinds of people know it, The Chinese and The King. And one of them is me."

Jack Black as Paul McCartney

  • (Jack Black) "I'm sick of you being so dark when I'm so impish and whimsical. I'm sick of it."
  • (Paul Rudd) "Hey everyone. I've got a brand new mantra. Ommm Paul's a big fat c***."

Rance Howard as Preacher

  • (Rance Howard) "You think we don't know what you're talking about when you say "take my hand"?"
  • (John C. Reilly) "What do you mean? It's about holding hands."
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "You watch your mouth."
  • (Rance Howard) "You know who's got hands? The devil. And he uses them for holding."

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