Weird Science (film) Quotes

Weird Science (film) is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Weird Science ended in 1970.

It features Joel Silver as producer, Ira Newborn in charge of musical score, and Matthew F. Leonetti as head of cinematography.

Weird Science (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Weird Science (film) is 94 minutes long. Weird Science (film) is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Kelly LeBrock as Lisa, Anthony Michael Hall as Gary Wallace, Anthony Michael Hall as Lucy Wallace, Ilan Mitchell-Smith as Wyatt, Robert Rusler as Max, Michael Berryman as Mutant Biker, Bill Paxton as Chet, John Kapelos as Dino, Judie Aronson as Hilly, Ivor Barry and Ann Coyle as Henry, D'Mitch Davis as Carmen, John Kapelos as Ian, Suzanne Snyder as Deb, and Vernon Wells as Lord General.

Weird Science (film) Quotes

Bill Paxton as Chet

• (Bill Paxton) "You're stewed, buttwad."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Me?"
• (Bill Paxton) "Do you know what time it is?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Two?"
• (Bill Paxton) "Time to play the fiddler."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "I was kind-of counting on you to be human about this --"

• (Bill Paxton) "Lady, I wanna get to the bottom of this. ASAFP."
• (Kelly LeBrock) "Oh, so do I."
• (Bill Paxton) "But first I'd like to -- butter your muffin."
• (Kelly LeBrock) "Why do you have to be such a wanker?"
• (Bill Paxton) "Because I get off on it."

• (Bill Paxton) "Boy, I wouldn't give a squirt of piss for your ass right now."

• (Bill Paxton) "I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad everything. I'm even considering makin' up some s***.""

• (Bill Paxton) "This goes WAY beyond payment."

• (Bill Paxton) "Like your panties."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "It's a joke, Chet."
• (Bill Paxton) "That's not a joke, that's a severe behavioral disorder. I mean, the next thing you know, you'll be wearing a bra on your head."

• (Bill Paxton) "How 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?"

• (Bill Paxton) "If he pukes, you die."

• (Bill Paxton) "The boozehounds returns --. What a joke."

Ilan Mitchell-Smith as Wyatt

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Gary, where the hell do you get that thing?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "It's a squirt gun, man."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Do you think she'll understand?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "I'm sure she will. I mean, I sure as hell wouldn't wanna date you."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "You're not my type, you know."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "You know Gary, for the first time in my life; I don't feel like a total dick."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Gary, you're just as uptight as I am, all right?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Nobody could be as uptight as you. Nobody. Your middle name is tense. Wyatt "Tense Up" Donnelly."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "All right, this is true, this is true."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "It's true."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "But it's not so bad. We can hear the music."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "We can hear the music, that's great. Maybe if we put our noses to the door, we can smell the food."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Gary, Gary, Gary. There are motorcycles in my house."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Wyatt, there are killer mutants in your house, okay?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Screw the house."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Garry, don't you feel like a chicken?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Wyatt, if I could shoot an egg out my ass right now, I would. Look we can deal with shame, death is a much deeper issue."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Gary? -- By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Ceremonial."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "He's not laughing at you, Chet."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Yes, I am."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "A missile. A MISSILE. A MISSILE IN MY HOUSE, GARY."
• (Robert Rusler) "Yup, this puppy's for real all right."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "It was an accident. You know it happens."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "ACCIDENT MY ASS, GARY. MY PARENTS ARE COMING HOME. CHET'S COMING HOME. THEY'RE GONNA FREAK OUT."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "They're gonna s*** egg rolls."

• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Do you think Lisa's having a good time?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Lisa could have a good time at an insurance seminar, Wyatt."

Kelly LeBrock as Lisa

• (Kelly LeBrock) "You okay?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "What are you so nervous about? Everything's cool."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "EVERYTHING'S COOL. Yeah yeah. My dad's gonna castrate me. And my mother almost had like cardiac arrest. My parents are not gonna let me in the house again and if they do I'm gonna be grounded till I'm about 45. But other than that everything's great. Everything's cool. In fact things can't get any better."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. Mmm, it's a mindscrambler. Hurts so good."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "You guys created me, I didn't come from anywhere. Before you started messing around with your computer, I didn't even exist. By the way, you did an excellent job. Thank you."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "If you don't cheer up, I'll blow your face off."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "If we're going to have any fun together, you guys have better learn to loosen up."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "Wyatt, you're going to have a heart attack by the time you're forty if you don't learn to relax. Have you tried inversion boots?"

• (Kelly LeBrock) "You had to be big shots didn't you. You had to show off. When are you gonna learn that people will like you for who you are, not for what you can give them. Well, in your race for power and glory, you forgot one small detail."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "We forgot to hook up the doll."
• (Kelly LeBrock) "You forgot to hook up the doll."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "That's my boys."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "Are you sure you're only fifteen?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "I'll be sixteen in June."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "Stop hitting people with your Rex Harrison hat."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "Have you ever wondered how sad it is, that your son's only sexual outlet is tossing off to magazines in the bathroom?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Oh Garry. Oh my God."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Ma, I never tossed off to anything."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "You told me you were combing your hair."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "I was. I was."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "This is a nuclear missile."
• (Bill Paxton) "I didn't think it was a whale's dick, honey."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "If you want be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?"

• (Kelly LeBrock) "Just for that I ought to give you a set of elephant balls."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "I can be a real serious bitch if I don't get what I want."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll -- chips, dips, chains, whips -- You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals."

• (Kelly LeBrock) "Don't threaten me Al. You're out of shape, I'll kick your arse."

Michael Berryman as Mutant Biker

• (Michael Berryman) "Can we keep this -- between us? I'd hate to lose my teaching job --"

Anthony Michael Hall as Gary Wallace

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "That's not a bad idea."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "What?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Making a girl. Actually making a girl. Like Frankenstein -- except cuter."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "You're serious?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Look me in the eye. Do I look serious?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Gary Wallace, that's-that's gross. That's sick. I am not digging up dead girls."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "No, I'm not talking about digging up dead girls, Wyatt. I'm talking about your system, idiot, your computer."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet, detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Do you know what I would like to do?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Shower with them."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Then bang with the city baby, dead on. For a little drinks, a little night-life, dancing."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Dancing."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "We'll throw a huge party. I mean huge party. Everybody's invited. Women everywhere. All these girls, they're all there. Naked bodies everywhere. They all know my name."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Gary, Gary."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "What?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Nobody likes us. Nobody."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Why don't you just shut up, you bitch."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "We're gonna go get you guys some drinks. You look like a scotch man, you want some- we're gonna get some stuff and --"
• (Vernon Wells) "Is this your party?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Well yeah, kinda, if you could call it- because --"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "I don't know if you could call it a party, it's just a few friends."
• (Vernon Wells) "How come two unpopular dicks like you is having a party?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "I don't know, I mean I guess I was just asking myself that very question, and I can be a dick sometimes, so I don't know, I don't know."
• (Vernon Wells) "How would you like all your friends here to know that you wear a bra on your head?"
• (Vernon Wells) "Tossed off into any good books lately, have we?"
• (Vernon Wells) "You two can't even take a shower with a beautiful woman without wearing your jeans."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Gimme de keys. Gimme de keys."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Is he going to be okay?"

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "This isn't my car. This isn't my suit. Those weren't even my friends."
• (Suzanne Snyder) "Why are you telling me this?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Because I want you to like me for what I am."
• (Suzanne Snyder) "Whatever you are, I like it."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Hold it, Wyatt. I know female stats. Anything bigger than a handful, you're risking a sprained tongue."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Where'd your parents go anyway?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Cincinnati. They're meeting the guy my sister wants to marry."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Chloe? Who the hell would want to marry Chloe?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "He's studying to be a vet."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "You know, I can't believe this, Wyatt. I'm so disappointed in us. I mean, all our lives we've been saying how great it would be if we went to parties, right? And now it's our party and we're in the john. We're in the john."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "I could be wrong, but I think these guys are stoked for us, Wyatt."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "I got that feelin' myself."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "What do we do?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "I don't know."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Should we go for it?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "What about Lisa?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "She did say we should party."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Look, let's get on with these two, score points, and go back to Lisa. This is like a dream come true."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "How about if we see if we can score the points with these two and deal with the McKays when we get to them later?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Sounds good."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Okay, but whatever happens, we've gotta give Lisa a shot. I don't wanna hurt her feelings. Maybe the girls are lookin' for a long, lean bone job from me. Ready to party now?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "10-4."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Let's break."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Wyatt, your kitchen is blue --."

• (Susan, Perfume Salesgirl) "You guys looking for something for your mom?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "I really don't think so --"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Sue."
• (Susan, Perfume Salesgirl) "You guys have -- girlfriends?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "You know, I really wouldn't refer to a 23-year-old woman as a girlfriend -- more of a lover --"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Lover -- mistress."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Sexpot."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Sexpot is what she is."
• (Susan, Perfume Salesgirl) "You guys are the ones who got beat up at the homecoming game -- right?"

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "We're in."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "We're in trouble Gary. This is highly illegal."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "We need more input. We gotta fill this thing up with data. We gotta make her as real as possible, Wyatt. I want her to live. I want her to breathe. I want her to aerobicize."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "How about Lisa?"
• (Kelly LeBrock) "Why Lisa?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Why not?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "He used to like a girl named Lisa."
• (Kelly LeBrock) "Oh yeah? Old girlfriend?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "She kicked him in the nuts."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Will you shut the hell up?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Look Gary, it wasn't your fault. All you said was hello to her."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Look Wyatt, shut up."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "How's your stomach?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "It's a little better."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "If you're going to float an air biscuit, let me know, okay?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Float a what?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "If you're gonna fart, if you're gonna squeeze cheese, let me know, okay? I'll hit the fan."
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "I'm sorry, Gary, it's just I suffer from pain and discomfort due to occasional stomach upset."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "It can't be a dream. How can 2 people have the same dream. Ok lets analyse this. In the middle of the night -- did I get up -- and yack in your sink?"
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Didn't throw up? No? Maybe it was a dream then, you know -- a very weird -- bizarre -- vivid -- erotic -- wet -- detailed dream. Maybe we had malaria."

• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Mom, I never toss off to anything."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "You told me you were combing your hair."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "But I was. I was."

John Kapelos as Ian

• (John Kapelos) "This party's lame, Max."
• (Robert Rusler) "What about the girls?"
• (John Kapelos) "Girls, shmirls."

• (John Kapelos) "Tell me something. What's a beautiful broad like you doing with a malaka like this? Huh?"
• (Kelly LeBrock) "It's purely sexual."
• (John Kapelos) "No s***."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "She's into malakas, Dino."
• (John Kapelos) ""She's into malakas". Do you believe that?"

Ivor Barry and Ann Coyle as Henry

• (Ivor Barry and Ann Coyle) "I'm not going to stand here and listen to this baloney."
• (D'Mitch Davis) "He won't, you know. He doesn't stand for baloney."

Robert Rusler as Max

• (Robert Rusler) "I feel like an asshole. This had better work."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "This is just a blueprint guys, now how do you like it?"
• (John Kapelos) "Bigger tits."
• (Robert Rusler) "Go. Go. Go."
• (Anthony Michael Hall) "Give em the knee shooters."

Judie Aronson as Hilly

• (Judie Aronson) "What are you guys doing here?"
• (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) "Gary was just takin' a s***."

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