What Happens in Vegas Quotes

What Happens in Vegas is a television show that debuted in 1970 . What Happens in Vegas completed its run in 1970.

It features Michael Aguilar, Shawn Levy, and Jimmy Miller as producer, Christophe Beck in charge of musical score, and Matthew F. Leonetti as head of cinematography.

What Happens in Vegas is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of What Happens in Vegas is 99 minutes long. What Happens in Vegas is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Lake Bell as Tipper, Cameron Diaz as Joy McNally, Ashton Kutcher as Jack Fuller, Ashton Kutcher as Jack Fuller Sr., Rob Corddry as Hater, Jason Sudeikis as Mason, Dennis Farina as Banger, and Michelle Krusiec as Chong.

What Happens in Vegas Quotes

Ashton Kutcher as Jack Fuller

• (Ashton Kutcher) "You ready for this?"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Pretend that you don't make me vomit in my nose every time I look at you? Definitely."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "You're like a son to me."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Dad, I am your son."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "Will to be married to me -- again?"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Being with you makes me be myself again so I will be married to you -- again."
• (Cameron Diaz) "I quit my job."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Good thing we have a ton of money."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "Can you hurry up?"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Almost done."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Oh yeah, this is really happening. Oh, and it's your day for dishes."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "Hey, don't get hit by a bus"
• (Ashton Kutcher) ". Or do, whatever."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "If you stop betting, you never have to lose."
• (Cameron Diaz) "I'd bet on you, Jack."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "It's like you're trying to come in first, but it's someone else's race."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "I have to thank my wife Joy. She probably never told you all the story about how we met. It might come as a surprise to many of you that we didn't know each other for very long before we got hitched. What can I say; when you know, you know."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "How hard can it be?"
• (Cameron Diaz) "I know how hard it isn't."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?"
• (Rob Corddry) "Community college?"

Rob Corddry as Hater

• (Rob Corddry) "You're falling for your wife. Idiot."

• (Rob Corddry) "Lavender, you get on my head."

• (Rob Corddry) "I can have a vial of crabs here in 30 minutes."

• (Rob Corddry) "Take him to court. It might be nice."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "What am I going to do about money?"
• (Rob Corddry) "Wow, you're just realizing that, right now? Fascinating."

• (Rob Corddry) "I'm the law, bitch."

• (Rob Corddry) "You should never let a chick get in your head; that's why I prefer not to even talk to my dates."

• (Rob Corddry) "You know what stripper? You're kind of a disgusting skank."

• (Rob Corddry) "I didn't invent hip hop -- but I was there."

Jason Sudeikis as Mason

• (Jason Sudeikis) "Why?"
• (Lake Bell) "You know why."

• (Jason Sudeikis) "Well, this is my place so technically you'd be the one -- who has to leave, but -- are you crying?"
• (Lake Bell) "Surprise --"
• (Jason Sudeikis) "Oh -- s*** balls --"

Michelle Krusiec as Chong

• (Michelle Krusiec) "Be whoever you want to be, you'll still gonna be my subordinate."
• (Cameron Diaz) "Excuse me?"
• (Michelle Krusiec) "It's from the Latin, meaning "my bitch.""

Cameron Diaz as Joy McNally

• (Cameron Diaz) "The grown-ups have to go to work today -- What are you going to do all day?"
• (Ashton Kutcher) "I don't know yet"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Hmph."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love."
• (Cameron Diaz) "Words to live by, Yanni."

• (Cameron Diaz) "Is there any part of the night, I don't know, maybe say the part where I was about to marry the rebound guy, that you thought, 'hey oh my God, this is a really good time for an intervention'?"
• (Lake Bell) "Seriously?"
• (Cameron Diaz) "Yeah."
• (Lake Bell) "I like -- threw up in my own purse -- so --"

Lake Bell as Tipper

• (Lake Bell) "I just wanna junk-punch him in his man business."

• (Lake Bell) "You know what? I can get a couple of my brother's loser ass friends to go over to Mason's apartment, knock on the door and when he opens it wham. They'll junk-punch him all up in his man business and he'll fall to the floor whaling and crying "why?" and then we'll say "you know why.""
• (Cameron Diaz) "Wow. Did you just make that up?"
• (Lake Bell) "No, I thought about it a lot on the way over"

Dennis Farina as Banger

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