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Wild Hogs Quotes

Wild Hogs is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Wild Hogs stopped airing in 1970.

It features Kristin Burr as producer, Teddy Castellucci in charge of musical score, and Robbie Greenberg as head of cinematography.

Wild Hogs is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Wild Hogs is 100 minutes long. Wild Hogs is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Ray Liotta as Jack, William H. Macy as Dudley Frank, John C. McGinley as Highway Patrolman, Tim Allen as Doug Madsen, John Travolta as Woody Stevens, Martin Lawrence as Bobby Davis, Kevin Durand as Red, Marisa Tomei as Maggie, Peter Fonda as Damien Blade, Stephen Tobolowsky as Charley, Jason Sklar as Toby, M. C. Gainey as Murdock, and Jason Sklar as Earl Dooble.

Wild Hogs Quotes

William H. Macy as Dudley Frank

  • (William H. Macy) "She is perfect."
  • (Tim Allen) "You like the waitress?"
  • (William H. Macy) "Oh, man. I wanted to say something funny to her, but all I could think of was black jokes."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Like which ones?"
  • (William H. Macy) "I forget."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Why don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whooped."
  • (William H. Macy) "Would that be funny?"
  • (Martin Lawrence) "I'll be laughing. Oh, I'll be cracking up."
  • (William H. Macy) "Whoa. Whoa. Oh. Man, oh, man. I almost lost it back there. I didn't know what was going on."
  • (William H. Macy) "I'm looking foward to the parade this year. I got little Tootsie Rolls to throw to the kids."
  • (John Travolta) "Tootsie Rolls? You cannot even put on your left blinker without wiping out."
  • (William H. Macy) "60% of motorcycle fatalities can be avoided by using the proper protective headwear."
  • (Tim Allen) "What's that leather condom gonna protect you from? Snoopy? The Red Baron? Dating?"
  • (William H. Macy) "Nice that. Where'd you get it?"
  • (Huge Tattooed Biker) "Leavenworth. You?"
  • (William H. Macy) "Meadow Hills Galleria."
  • (William H. Macy) "And I got a girlfriend. Punch that out of me, bitches."
  • (William H. Macy) "Hey, guys, does this sound better?"
  • (William H. Macy) "I'm okay, I hit my butt."
  • (William H. Macy) "What'd you do, Woody?"
  • (John Travolta) "I cut the gas lines of their bikes, and then I maybe blew up their bar."
  • (William H. Macy) "Mother of God. I swallowed hot lava."
  • (William H. Macy) "It's ok. I just hit my face."
  • (William H. Macy) "The music moves me, but it moves me ugly."
  • (William H. Macy) "I'm okay, I just hurt my face."
  • (William H. Macy) "I got a tat."
  • (Tim Allen) "Hell just froze over."
  • (John Travolta) "Let's see it."
  • (William H. Macy) "I'm a biker dude."
  • (John Travolta) "It's an Apple."
  • (William H. Macy) "I know, it's trademarked, but what are they gonna say -- It's in my skin, bitch."

Stephen Tobolowsky as Charley

  • (Stephen Tobolowsky) "Man, that was like Level 12 of Doom."

Tim Allen as Doug Madsen

  • (Tim Allen) "Come on --"
  • (John Travolta) "Fine, I will get naked with my gay friends. If any of them look at my junk, I will kill them."
  • (Tim Allen) "Did he just say "cracker"?"
  • (William H. Macy) ""Cracker-ass.""
  • (Tim Allen) "Oh, perfect."
  • (Tim Allen) "Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Madrid."
  • (John Travolta) "Spain?"
  • (Tim Allen) "You know what's so stupid about this? We wanted to be like you guys.You know -- because what I see here is just a bunch of grown men whose biggest decision in life is 'sleeveless or -- uh -- sleeveless? Do I s*** behind the rock or over there by that bush?' Grown men -- this is pathetic. You go ahead kick our ass, okay, because we are not the posers. You guys are the posers."
  • (Tim Allen) "Woody, remember the theme of this trip? "Whatever", remember? "Whatever?""
  • (John Travolta) "Okay, fine. Fine. We'll stay the night, and get gas in the morning. Okay."
  • (Tim Allen) "Calm down. I just don't understand what your rush is."
  • (John Travolta) "I'm not in a rush, man. I just wanna ride, man. I just wanna ride. You know? Sally, ride. You are so weird. You ask some weird s*** and say the weirdest things. Why don't you just, what, what?"
  • (Tim Allen) "You screwed up their lives? And by doing that, you decided to screw up our lives? Asshole."
  • (Tim Allen) "Well, what has your wife ever made us?"
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Hard."
  • (Tim Allen) "You're the sheriff, why don't you go out there?"
  • (Stephen Tobolowsky) "I'm the sheriff of a town of 500 people. I got my qualification from a course on the internet. For my arms training, they just told me to play Doom."
  • (Tim Allen) "You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?"
  • (Stephen Tobolowsky) "Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet. For arms training they just told us to play Doom."

John Travolta as Woody Stevens

  • (John Travolta) "The trip is over because some tattooed bullies pushed us around?"
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Yeah."
  • (John Travolta) "Yeah, Well, one man's fairy tale is another man's nightmare."
  • (John Travolta) "Oh, s***. Oh, God. Oh, no."
  • (John Travolta) "I'm just swimming here with my gay friends."
  • (John Travolta) "Well go home, Toby. You make me sick."
  • (Jason Sklar) "I can't do this many leaves for $10."
  • (John Travolta) "Whoa, that's cold."
  • (John Travolta) "Why are you naked?"
  • (William H. Macy) "I thought we were doing this wild and free thing. You guys kept your skivvies on?"
  • (Tim Allen) "Yeah, there might be snappin' turtles or somethin'."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "I kept mine on because I didn't want it to get dark in here."
  • (John Travolta) "That's not a discussion."
  • (William H. Macy) "Yeah, that's a lawsuit."
  • (John Travolta) "Del Fuegos. Hide the bikes. Quick."
  • (John Travolta) "Wild Hogs."
  • (John Travolta) "Dudley, you have to get rid of that or else I'm going to vomit in your lap."
  • (William H. Macy) "Fine, I'll hang it from a tree."
  • (John Travolta) "Don't hang it in a tree."
  • (William H. Macy) "Why?"
  • (John Travolta) "Cause bears don't eat s***."
  • (John Travolta) "Holy crap. It's the Golden Knight."

Peter Fonda as Damien Blade

  • (Peter Fonda) "The posers. What do you guys call yourselves?"
  • (John Travolta) "I'm Woody --"
  • (Peter Fonda) "No, no -- you all riding together? What do you call yourselves?"
  • (William H. Macy) "Hogs -- Wild Hogs."
  • (Peter Fonda) "Wild Hogs. Well, Wild Hogs -- ride hard or stay home. Oh, and guys -- lose the watches."

Ray Liotta as Jack

  • (Ray Liotta) "I knew you assholes the minute I laid eyes on you. Look at the four of you."
  • (Tim Allen) "You don't know us."
  • (Ray Liotta) "You think I don't know you? You're probably a -- podiatrist or an ear-, nose-, and throat-specialist."
  • (Tim Allen) "I wish."
  • (Ray Liotta) "An orthadontist?"
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Close enough."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Bobby, guarantee you're hen-pecked. The wife wears the pants."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "You know my wife?"
  • (Ray Liotta) "And you, no luck with women. I guarantee you bag your own s***."
  • (William H. Macy) "Wow, you're good. What color am I thinking of?"
  • (Ray Liotta) "Shut up."
  • (Ray Liotta) "And you, you're the biggest poser of them all -- aren't ya, Squinty. Go home."
  • (Ray Liotta) "You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000, plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar. If you don't, we're gonna break your friends legs here."
  • (William H. Macy) "Don't bring the money. I'm a computer programmer. I don't need my legs."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Fine, we'll break his hands."
  • (William H. Macy) "Oh dammit. Bring the money."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Well, we'll fight you and the children of the corn too. 'Cause the Del Fuegos don't back down. This is our highway. And we're gonna defend our highway."
  • (Peter Fonda) "Wrong, Jack. It's MY highway."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Blade."
  • (Peter Fonda) "Hi, Maggie."
  • (Peter Fonda) "Hmm -- bar burned down."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Yeah -- these posers. These four posers right here."
  • (Peter Fonda) "Four guys -- stand off 50 bikers -- and they're the posers."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Yeah -- they burnt down the bar that you built."
  • (Peter Fonda) "It was a s***hole. I insured it for twice what it's worth. The guys did me a favor."
  • (Ray Liotta) "We were just following the code that you wrote."
  • (Peter Fonda) "Why do you think I don't wear the colors, Jack? Why do you think I ride alone? 'Cause you don't know about it anymore. I think you all oughta get back on your bikes and go out and ride the highway until you remember what riding's all about."
  • (Kevin Durand) "Let it go, Jack."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Ok, Pop."
  • (Peter Fonda) "Takes after his mom."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Another Wild Hog."
  • (William H. Macy) "Yep. Yep-er-oonie. That's our little gang."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Those assholes got balls."
  • (Kevin Durand) "That I'm going to put in my mouth and chew on."
  • (Ray Liotta) "You're gonna put WHAT in your mouth?"
  • (Ray Liotta) "Those assholes got balls."
  • (Kevin Durand) "That i'm gonna put them in my mouth and chew on."
  • (Ray Liotta) "You're gonna put what in your mouth?"
  • (Ray Liotta) "You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000. Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar. And if you wanna see your friend alive again, do not call the cops. If you're not here in half an hour to settle this, I'm gonna take the fine out on your friend's legs. I'm gonna break 'em with this tire iron."
  • (William H. Macy) "Don't bring the money. I'm a computer programmer. I don't need my legs."
  • (Ray Liotta) "Fine. I'll break his hands."
  • (William H. Macy) "Oh, damn it. Bring the money."

Kevin Durand as Red

  • (Kevin Durand) "When we drink piss, we drink it cold."
  • (M. C. Gainey) "What?"
  • (Kevin Durand) "We don't drink piss."

Martin Lawrence as Bobby Davis

  • (Martin Lawrence) "Hey, did y'all see my moves? I was shaking and baking just like the NFL, baby. You hear what I'm saying? I delivered it right to the end zone."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Sorry, Woody, about your situation. But you're a lying asshole. That's like an asshole's asshole."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?"
  • (Kevin Durand) "I do."
  • (Mother-in-Law) "In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "In your day, men were busy building pyramids. How long ago was that?"
  • (Martin Lawrence) "You call The Firm?"
  • (Clerk) "Yeah, men's room. Some trucker musta crapped a whole cow in there. Good luck."
  • (Clerk) "I didn't want to give him the key, but I didn't trust my instincts."
  • (Clerk) "I saw my father shot. I never cry until today."
  • (Clerk) "I got robbed yesterday. And now I know: you have the bad job."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Yeah --"
  • (Martin Lawrence) "You called The Firm?"
  • (Clerk) "Some truck driver must have crapped an entire cow in there, man. Good luck. I knew in my gut not to let him go, but I didn't trust my instincts. I saw my father shot, but I did not cry till today. I was robbed yesterday, and I know now, your job is the bad one."

John C. McGinley as Highway Patrolman

  • (John C. McGinley) "Forget about them, more fun for us. Like what you see, huh? Let's get involved."
  • (John C. McGinley) "4 counts of indecent exposure -- 2 counts of lewd, lascivious behavior, and one count; pure jealousy"
  • (Tim Allen) "Huh?"
  • (John C. McGinley) "How you doing?"

Marisa Tomei as Maggie

  • (Marisa Tomei) "You coming back through?"
  • (William H. Macy) "Maybe. A biker never knows. A week, a month."
  • (William H. Macy) "Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take six minutes for wind resistance."
  • (Marisa Tomei) "That's too bad. I wanted you to try my chili. It's pretty hot."
  • (William H. Macy) "No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss. Eat."

Jason Sklar as Earl Dooble

  • (Jason Sklar) "Yeah, and we never seen it done twice in a row."
  • (John Travolta) "What?"
  • (Jason Sklar) "It'll be interesting to see how the bull takes being slapped now that he's alert."
  • (Martin Lawrence) "Alert?"

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