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Wonder Boys (film) Quotes

Wonder Boys (film) is a television show that first aired in 1970 . Wonder Boys ended its run in 1970.

It features Curtis Hanson, and Scott Rudin as producer, Christopher Young in charge of musical score, and Dante Spinotti as head of cinematography.

Wonder Boys (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States, United Kingdom, Germany, and Japan. Each episode of Wonder Boys (film) is 111 minutes long. Wonder Boys (film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Michael Douglas as Grady Tripp, Robert Downey Jr. as Terry Crabtree, Frances McDormand as Sara Gaskell, Tobey Maguire as James Leer, Richard Knox as Vernon Hardapple, Kelly Bishop as Amanda Leer, Richard Thomas as Walter Gaskell, Jane Adams as Oola, Katie Holmes as Hannah Green, Rip Torn as Q, and Alan Tudyk as Traxler.

Wonder Boys (film) Quotes

Tobey Maguire as James Leer

  • (Tobey Maguire) "No thanks. I'm fine without them."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Right. That's why you were standing in the Chancellor's back yard twirling that little cap gun of yours tonight. You're fine, all right, you're fit as a f***ing fiddle."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "You're not like my other teachers, Professor Tripp."
  • (Michael Douglas) "You're not like my other students, James."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "It's just -- for good luck. Some people carry rabbits' feet --"
  • (Michael Douglas) "-- You carry firearms."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "Whose tuba is that, anyway?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Miss Sloviak's."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "Can I ask you something about her?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Yes, she is."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "So is your friend Crabtree, is he -- is he gay?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Most of the time he is, James. Some of the time he isn't."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "What are we doing?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "I'm gonna get you a nice meal, a couple cups of coffee, then I'm taking you home."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "Take me now."
  • (Michael Douglas) "What?"
  • (Tobey Maguire) "I'm not hungry."
  • (Michael Douglas) "James, you gotta eat."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "I'll get something out of the vending machine."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Vending machine? What are you talking about?"
  • (Tobey Maguire) "At the bus station, they have these cheese sandwiches. They're pretty good. It's better if you take me now. That way, Carl won't get my spot."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Carl?"
  • (Tobey Maguire) "Never mind."
  • (Michael Douglas) "James, go get us a table, will ya? I'm not letting the most talented writer in my class eat some week-old cheese sandwich, okay?"
  • (Tobey Maguire) "Now, that is a big trunk. It holds a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly."
  • (Michael Douglas) "That's just what they used to say in the ads."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "The doors made so much noise."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Is he all right?"
  • (Tobey Maguire) "It was so embarrassing. He had to be carried out."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "He's fine. He's narrating."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "They were going to the restroom. But would they make it in time?"
  • (Tobey Maguire) "You want a bite?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "No thanks."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "That's why you're having them. Your spells."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Spells? Jesus, James, you make it sound like we're in a Tennessee Williams play. I don't get spells."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "These are incredible. Incredible."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Finish the rest of that joint, James, you can start chewing on the box."

Michael Douglas as Grady Tripp

  • (Michael Douglas) "I hope you don't find this forward Amanda, but I wonder if I might ask: Did you ever go to Catholic school?"
  • (Kelly Bishop) "Excuse me?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, that's such a beautiful Greenhouse."
  • (Michael Douglas) "It's Mrs. Gaskells, it's her hobby."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I thought YOU were Mrs. Gaskell's hobby."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Piss off, will ya Crabs? I lost a wife today."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "You'll find another one, you always do. She'll be younger,prettier, they always are."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Fine, just fine."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "Yeah, fit as a f***ing fiddle."
  • (Michael Douglas) ""The young girl sat perfectly still in the confessional listening to her father's boots scrape like chalk on the ancient steps of the church, then grow faint, then disappear altogether. She could sense the priest beyond the grate -- " On that particular Friday afternoon, last February, I was reading a story to my Advanced Writers' Workshop by one James Leer, Junior Lit major and sole inhabitant of his own gloomy gulag."
  • (Michael Douglas) "James like it or not those people out there are your parents."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "They're not my parents."
  • (Michael Douglas) "What?"
  • (Tobey Maguire) "They're my grandparents -- my parents are dead."
  • (Michael Douglas) "James the man is obviously your father -- you look just like him."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "There's a reason for that."
  • (Michael Douglas) "As for me, I lost everything: my wife, my book, my job, everything that I thought was important. But I finally knew where I wanted to go. And now I have someone to help me get there."
  • (Michael Douglas) "It's been a long time since someone wrote a really good book in jail."
  • (Michael Douglas) "She was a junkie for the printed word. Lucky for me, I manufactured her drug of choice."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Sometimes, people just need to be rescued."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Well, he did say a few things that made me believe it WAS his car."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Like what?"
  • (Michael Douglas) ""That's my car, motherf***er.""
  • (Michael Douglas) "I'm a teacher, not a Holiday Inn."
  • (Michael Douglas) "I have to go over to my wife's parents house today, to gather a few things."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "The one that left you?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Yes James, that one."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Okay, James, I wish you hadn't shot my girlfriend's dog. Even though Poe and I weren't exactly what you'd call simpatico, that's no reason he should've taken two in the chest."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Besides, I'm not sure if he's, uh --"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "He is, I'm sure, take my word for it. I see myself in him."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Oh, I'm sure you do."
  • (Michael Douglas) "She's a transvestite."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "You're stoned."
  • (Michael Douglas) "She's still a transvestite."
  • (Michael Douglas) "All right. Let him crash at my house."
  • (Katie Holmes) "Where should I put him?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "In the shape that he's in, you could stand him up in the garage next to the snow shovels and he'd be all right."
  • (Unnamed) "That's a nice greenhouse."
  • (Michael Douglas) "It's Mrs. Gaskell's. Her hobby."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I thought you were Mrs. Gaskell's hobby, Tripp."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Piss off, Crabs. I lost a wife today."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Oh, I'm sure you'll find another. You always do."
  • (Michael Douglas) "So there it was. Somewhere in the night, a Manhattan book editor was prowling the streets of Pittsburgh; best-selling author at his side, dead dog in his trunk."
  • (Michael Douglas) "s***, James. You shot Dr. Gaskell's dog."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "I had to. Didn't I?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Couldn't you have just pulled him off me?"

Katie Holmes as Hannah Green

  • (Katie Holmes) "James will know about George Sanders."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "George Sanders?"
  • (Katie Holmes) "Mr. Crabtree was saying how George Sanders killed himself, only he couldn't remember how."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "Pills. April 25, 1972, in a Costa Brava hotel room."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "How comprehensive of you."
  • (Katie Holmes) "James is amazing. He knows all the movie suicides. Go ahead, James. Tell him."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "There are so many."
  • (Katie Holmes) "Well, just a few. The big ones."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "Pier Angeli, 1971 or '72, also pills. Donald "Red" Barry, shot himself in 1980. Charles Boyer, 1978, pills again. Charles Butterworth, 1946, I think. In a car. Supposedly, it was an accident, but, you know, he was distraught. Dorothy Dandridge, pills, 1965. Albert Dekker, 1968. He hung himself. He wrote his suicide note in lipstick on his stomach. William Inge, carbon monoxide, 1973. Carole Landis, pills again. I forget when. George Reeves, "Superman" on TV, shot himself. Jean Seberg, pills, of course, 1979. Everett Sloane; he was good; pills. Margaret Sullavan, pills. Lupe Velez, a lot of pills. Gig Young, he shot himself and his wife in 1978. There are tons more."
  • (Katie Holmes) "I haven't heard of half of them."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "You did them alphabetically."
  • (Tobey Maguire) "It's just how my brain works, I guess."
  • (Katie Holmes) "Grady, you know how in class you're always telling us that writers make choices?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Yeah."
  • (Katie Holmes) "And even though you're book is really beautiful, I mean, amazingly beautiful, it's -- it's at times -- it's -- very detailed. You know, with the genealogies of everyone's horses, and the dental records, and so on. And -- I could be wrong, but it sort of reads in places like you didn't make any choices. At all. And I was just wondering if it might not be different if -- if when you wrote you weren't always -- under the influence."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Well -- thank you for the thought, but shocking as it may sound, I am not the first writer to sip a little weed. Furthermore, it might surprise you to know that one book I wrote, as you say, "under the influence," just happened to win a little something called the Pen Award. Which, by the way, I accepted under the influence."

Frances McDormand as Sara Gaskell

  • (Frances McDormand) "So. I guess we just divorce our spouses, marry each other, and have this baby, right? Simple."
  • (Frances McDormand) "You didn't happen to call our house last night, did you?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "I think I might have, yes."
  • (Frances McDormand) "What do you think you might have said?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "I think I might have said I was in love with you."
  • (Michael Douglas) "He told you?"
  • (Frances McDormand) "He told me."
  • (Michael Douglas) "And what did you say?"
  • (Frances McDormand) "I said it didn't sound like you."
  • (Frances McDormand) "Is that Cristalle?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Mm."
  • (Frances McDormand) "My God, I wear the same scent as a transvestite."

Alan Tudyk as Traxler

  • (Alan Tudyk) "Say, Professor Tripp, is all that stuff true about Errol Flynn? How he used to put paprika -- on his dick -- to make it, you know, like -- more stimulating -- for the chick?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Christ, Traxler, how the hell should I know?"
  • (Alan Tudyk) "You're reading his biography, aren't you?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Oh. No, it's true. He used to rub all sorts of things on it. Salad dressing -- ground lamb --"
  • (Alan Tudyk) "Sick."

Jane Adams as Oola

  • (Jane Adams) "I know you. Double Dickel on the rocks. I never forget a drink."
  • (Michael Douglas) "And I never forget an Oola."

Robert Downey Jr. as Terry Crabtree

  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Let me get this straight. Jerry Nathan owes you money, so as collateral he gives you his car."
  • (Michael Douglas) "Only I'm beginning to think that the car wasn't exactly Jerry's to give."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Ah, so whose car was it?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "My guess? Vernon Hardapple."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "The hood jumper?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "He said a few things that lead me to believe that the car was his."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Such as?"
  • (Michael Douglas) ""That's my car, motherf***er.""
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "The Love Parade -- I've got a feeling about this, Tripp. I feel this kid in my bones."
  • (Michael Douglas) "ONLY in your bones?"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "There must be 2000 windows, how do we find his?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "I told you, they keep him "chained" in the basement."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "- Music Coming From Within The Windows Of The Basement; Rodgers & Hart?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "James Leer."

Richard Knox as Vernon Hardapple

  • (Richard Knox) "Why did you keep writing this book if you didn't even know what it was about?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "I couldn't stop."
  • (Richard Knox) "You drivin' this car?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "Excuse me?"
  • (Richard Knox) "This 1966 maroon Ford Galaxie 500. You drivin' this car?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "It's mine."
  • (Richard Knox) "Bulls***. It's mine, motherf***a."
  • (Michael Douglas) "You must be mistaken."
  • (Richard Knox) "Bulls***."
  • (Richard Knox) "Man, that musta been one nutty book."

Richard Thomas as Walter Gaskell

  • (Richard Thomas) "Are you drinking, Professor Tripp, right now?"
  • (Michael Douglas) "No."

Rip Torn as Q

  • (Rip Torn) "I -- am a writer."

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