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You, Me and Dupree Quotes

You, Me and Dupree is a TV show that appeared on TV in 1970 . You, Me and Dupree completed its run in 1970.

It features Scott Stuber, Mary Parent, and Owen Wilson as producer, Theodore Shapiro (composer) in charge of musical score, and Charles Minsky as head of cinematography.

You, Me and Dupree is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of You, Me and Dupree is 109 minutes long. You, Me and Dupree is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Owen Wilson as Dupree, Matt Dillon as Carl Peterson, Kate Hudson as Molly Peterson, Ralph Ting as Toshi, Seth Rogen as Neil, Owen Wilson as Randy Dupree, Kate Hudson as Mr. Thompson, and Amanda Detmer as Annie.

You, Me and Dupree Quotes

Matt Dillon as Carl Peterson

  • (Matt Dillon) "He's never truly been domesticated. He's like the ape-man of Borneo."
  • (Matt Dillon) "What's going on with you and Molly?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "What?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "You heard me. Are you in love with my wife?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Have you lost your mind? What are you talking about?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "Dupree. Dupree, just answer the question."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Whoa, hold on, Jake LaMotta. I'm not gonna answer -- that's a sick question."
  • (Matt Dillon) "How come you can't answer it?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "I'm not going to answer because it doesn't deserve and answer. How could you ask me something like that?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "You're very clever, Dupree. You're living in my house. You're going to town on yourself in my living room. And now, you're moving in on my wife."
  • (Owen Wilson) "What?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "You think you got it all figured out, but I'm on to you, and you're out of here."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Oh, no. Hold on. You're not throwing me out of here. I'll leave."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Good. And while you're at it, leave the flask and the groomsman's outfit."
  • (Owen Wilson) "But you gave those to me. Those were gifts."
  • (Matt Dillon) "All right. You know, keep those. But leave the insignia, because that was for my best man."
  • (Matt Dillon) "The insurance adjuster recommended that we sue Dupree."
  • (Kate Hudson) "For a mooosehead?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "Make yourself at home. Molly and I are -- Well, we're going to go upstairs and take care of some stuff."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Well hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen, we're all adults here. You're newlyweds. Making love's a big part of that. You're supposed to explore each other. I get it. Come on. If this situation's gonna work, we've got to be honest with each other. Now, go on. Enjoy yourselves. I'm not going to listen. Hump away. Go on, get out of here. Good night."
  • (Matt Dillon) "You have the most beautiful toes, have I ever told you that? And I'm not even a foot guy."
  • (Kate Hudson) "Are you concentrating on the game? Or are you lusting at the feet of your soon-to-be wife?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "Would you be offended if Thompson asked you to get a vasectomy?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "What? Why would he want me to get a vasectomy, Carl? I barely know the man."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Sshhh, wait a minute. Wait. Dupree --"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Yes, I'd be offended."
  • (Matt Dillon) "No, not you. That's not what I mean. Just what do you think of vasectomies?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Cutting off my manhood? I think it's barbaric. No one's getting near that part of my body. No one, Carl. Unless, of course, it's a woman. And then she better not have a scalpel."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Of course."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Why would he want me to get a vasectomy?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "He doesn't want you to get a vasectomy. It was a hypothetical question."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Okay."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Forget I asked."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Don't joke with me like that, man."
  • (Matt Dillon) "It's not like I'm going to be working for him for the rest of my life. You know, I got plans of my own."
  • (Owen Wilson) "There it is. There's that Carlness. They can't lay a glove on you, can they? God, I admire you. I really do."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Poetry, Aunt Kathy, librarian-banging, backstabbing, bike-riding, couch-burning masturbator. You ruined my life. You ruined my life."
  • (Matt Dillon) "What's with this "Carlness?" It's not even a real word."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Yes it is."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Oh, it is?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "It's a verb. It's a conjunction. A preposition. It's a philosophy. A way of life. It's your name with "ness" attached to it."
  • (Matt Dillon) "You get your first ten-speed bike, and suddenly you're Lance Armstrong."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Let's leave Lance out of this. Guy's done more with one testicle than you and I could do with three."
  • (Matt Dillon) "You gonna hit me with that thing? Come on I dare you."
  • (Kate Hudson) "Dad."
  • (Kate Hudson) "He dared me."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Everybody knows that your father, when he likes somebody, he invites them out on a little fishing trip. Fact: I've never been invited fishing. Not once."
  • (Kate Hudson) "You hate fishing."
  • (Matt Dillon) "He doesn't know that."
  • (Matt Dillon) "If you're going to stay here, things are going to be different from now on. No more naked stuff."
  • (Owen Wilson) "But it felt natural to be naked --"
  • (Matt Dillon) "I don't care. I do not care."
  • (Matt Dillon) "You've done everything you can to undermine me. You've tried to intimidate me. You've tried to humiliate me. You've bastardized my project to the point where it's unrecognizable. But here's the thing, Bob. I don't care. I don't care about this job, and I don't care about you. I care about Molly. She means everything in the world to me. And if you're going to stand in the way of me trying to win her back, you'd better bring a pretty big candlestick."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Dupree, what you did in our bathroom last night was disgusting. Molly nearly passed out."
  • (Owen Wilson) "I know, I know. Believe me. I'm never eating Buffalo wings again. I don't care how much I love them. I'm off them."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Why don't you watch it in your house?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Because I can't have friends over on weeknights and you know that."
  • (Matt Dillon) "What's with this 'Roman Holiday' obssesion? Your favorite movie is 'Fletch'."
  • (Owen Wilson) "It's in my top five, but it's not my favorite."

Owen Wilson as Dupree

  • (Owen Wilson) "There really aren't any more Audrey Hepburn's out there, are there?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Listen, if I got to be the lovable f***up all my life to win your best friend prize, maybe you should keep your award."
  • (Matt Dillon) "I got news for you Dupree. You're not that lovable."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Everyone's asleep and here's lonely old Dupree waling away on himself."
  • (Kate Hudson) "You weren't waling away --"
  • (Owen Wilson) "God. An animal wouldn't debase himself thus."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Bob, before I go, I have my own question for you. And remember, you've never lied to me either, as far as I know. Who did you really want to get a vasectomy? Me? Or was it, in fact, Carl?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "I'm throwing seven different kinds of smoke."
  • (Owen Wilson) "I'll be fine."
  • (Owen Wilson) "I've wracked my little Duprees."
  • (Owen Wilson) "So what if her dad hates you. You think you're the first guy to be hated by his father-in-law? So what if he beat your ass with a candlestick. That's probably happened before."
  • (Owen Wilson) "The doctor said most of my injuries are emotional."

Seth Rogen as Neil

  • (Seth Rogen) "Don't tell me you want the porn back because you can't have it. Why is it all Asian?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "s*** balls."
  • (Matt Dillon) "What's that?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "It's my alarm. My hour's up. That's it for me."
  • (Matt Dillon) "What, are you kidding me? Where are you going?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "I've got to go meet my wife and watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Ya-Ya Pants. I don't -- How late do you get to stay out? I used to have midnight. Do you get midnight? 'Cause I was late once --"
  • (Matt Dillon) "I'm a grown man, Neil. I don't have a curfew."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Not yet you don't."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Do I smell like beer?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "Yeah."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Good. Because you know what I don't smell like, then? Cigarettes and weed."
  • (Seth Rogen) "You cannot come in here. She said so, man. She makes the rules."
  • (Matt Dillon) "You know what? I don't need this, Neil. I don't need this."
  • (Seth Rogen) "I don't need this. I'm sorry."
  • (Amanda Detmer) "Neil, get back in here."
  • (Seth Rogen) "She controls what I do."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Did you actually throw away your porn collection?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "Look, Neil, I'm having a dinner party."
  • (Seth Rogen) "I'm coming to get it."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Going to Starbucks. Be back."

Kate Hudson as Molly Peterson

  • (Kate Hudson) "You haven't really been taking care of yourself. I can't remember the last time you exercised. And how many Twinkies have you had today?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "What are you talking about?"
  • (Kate Hudson) "Oh Carl, please. There's like a million Twinkie wrappers on the floor of your car. You're not fooling anybody."
  • (Matt Dillon) "All right. All right. So I admit it, I enjoy one occasionally. Is there something so wrong with that? Look, Molly, I am under a great deal of stress. What do you want from me?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "Wait a minute. Is this the kind of thing that turns you on?"
  • (Kate Hudson) "Oh, Carl."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Is this what turns you on? Come on, Molly."
  • (Kate Hudson) "I was reading an article on Oprah."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Yeah, well I'm sorry I can't be one of your boy-band flavor-of-the-weeks, with their enhanced frosted tips and washboard bellies and their hairless backs."
  • (Kate Hudson) "What's happening to us, Carl?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "I don't know what's happening to you, Molly, but apparently I'm getting fat."
  • (Kate Hudson) "When did we get HBO?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Yeah, you saw that. I upgraded us, and I'm going to go halfsies on it 'cause I love it also."
  • (Kate Hudson) "Now you've upset Randolph."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Randolph? Randolph? You've got to be kidding me. I know a Randy Dupree. I do NOT know a Randolph."
  • (Kate Hudson) "Did it ever occur to you that maybe he prefers to be called Randolph?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "No, Molly, it never occured to me. The guy writes some bulls*** poetry, and suddenly, he's got a brand new name."
  • (Kate Hudson) "So you really were serious about Audrey Hepburn, huh?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "She had it all. Style, grace, ethereal beauty. Just like I thought Mandy did."
  • (Kate Hudson) "I don't know. I have a hard time imagining Audrey Hepburn getting buttered up to Funky Cold Medina."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Really? I don't."
  • (Kate Hudson) "Did you know Dupree writes poetry?"
  • (Matt Dillon) "What a homo."
  • (Kate Hudson) "Now when Molly told me that she was going to marry Carl, I said "Who?" She said "Daddy, he works for you." I said, "Honey, I've got 1,200 employees nationwide." But then, I started to worry. Maybe he was some young buck trying to push me aside, grab the reins of my company."
  • (Kate Hudson) "And then I met Carl, sitting in cubicle 26. And I said, "You know, I like my chances.""
  • (Kate Hudson) "Look at that. It's my grandmother's silver cheese platter and you used it to serve nachos."
  • (Matt Dillon) "Well nachos have cheese in them."

Ralph Ting as Toshi

  • (Ralph Ting) "But, Mr. Dupree, I don't play baseball. I'm in the orchestra."
  • (Owen Wilson) "First, call me Dupree 'cause I'm your teammate. Second, so what if you're in the orchestra? So was Catfish Hunter."

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