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Zero Effect Quotes

Zero Effect is a TV show that first aired in 1970 . Zero Effect stopped airing in 1970.

It features Lisa Henson, Jake Kasdan, and Janet Yang as producer, Stewart Copeland in charge of musical score, and Bill Pope as head of cinematography.

Zero Effect is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Zero Effect is 116 minutes long. Zero Effect is distributed by Columbia Pictures (United States).

The cast includes: Ben Stiller as Steve Arlo, Bill Pullman as Daryl Zero, Ryan O'Neal as Gregory Stark, and Kim Dickens as Gloria Sullivan.

Zero Effect Quotes

Ben Stiller as Steve Arlo

  • (Ben Stiller) "Wait a minute. Are you telling me that, instead of calling me, you had me fly up here so you could tell me to go straight back to the computer; and then fly back again tonight?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Yeah, well, it wasn't an emergency. There was no reason to risk the long-distance lines."
  • (Bill Pullman) "They listen, you know."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I'll shoot you. Really, I will. I have a gun and everything."
  • (Ben Stiller) "There aren't any GOOD guys. You realize that, don't you? I mean: there aren't EVIL guys, and INNOCENT guys. It's just; it's just -- It's just a bunch of guys."
  • (Ben Stiller) "It's an uncompromising standard of his practice. He never meets any of his clients. He doesn't speak with them, or, for that matter, communicate in any direct fashion. That's his policy. But I am his sole representative and he is my only employer; and as such, I have full authorization to speak on his behalf on all his matters of business. I have with me a signed letter to that effect. He doesn't negotiate his fee. He works at a flat rate. Under some unusual circumstances, he'll work pro bono; never in between."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Maybe you should stop snorting that s***."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Keeps my teeth sharp."
  • (Ben Stiller) "You know, there's a pretty severe lack of information problem here. And he won't say much."
  • (Bill Pullman) "What's wrong with these people?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I told him, there's no use lying to you. Eventually, you always figure it out. It's just slowing things down."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Did you tell him about the case of the guy who lied about his age?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Of course."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Was he impressed?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Mm-hmm."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Really impressed?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "f***in' flabbergasted."
  • (Ben Stiller) "He can elicit a confession from a criminal without their realizing they're being questioned."
  • (Ryan O'Neal) "How does he do it?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "He has a deeply nuanced and thoroughly functional understanding of human behavior to rival the great psychoanalytical minds of our time. He understands the criminal mind as well as the innocent mind, the stable mind as well as the psychotic, sociopathic mind. The male, as well as the female."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Are you telling me you can speak six languages and fly a jetliner but you don't know how to file a tax return? -- It's never come up? -- Does this have to happen right now? -- No, that's a "W-2." "WW2" was the Second World War."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I'm telling you he never even leaves the house, okay. I mean he's like some kind of recluse. Complete freak. No social life. In fact, no social skills. It's a strange f***ing thing. When he's working, the smoothest operator you've ever seen. Brave, slick, cunning, can do anything. Soon as he gets off work, it's all gone. Afraid to go to the dry cleaners. Literally. Too uncomfortable in his own skin to go out and eat. Tactless and inept. Rude, too. Just an asshole."
  • (Ben Stiller) "$5 million, so you can kill someone right away instead of a day later."
  • (Ryan O'Neal) "No, no. For $5 million, you do it."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Why are we talking on the phone?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "I told you. We can't be too careful. Two guys in an airport -- talking? It's a little fishy."

Bill Pullman as Daryl Zero

  • (Bill Pullman) "I always say that the essence of my work relies fundamentally on two basic principles: objectivity and observation, or "the two obs" as I call them. My work relies on my ability to remain absolutely, purely objective, detached. I have mastered the fine art of detachment. And while it comes at some cost, this supreme objectivity is what makes me, I dare say, the greatest observer the world has ever known."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Now, a few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Keep moving every few months. Stay out of Westernized countries for a while. Don't carry too much cash on your body. Give incorrect information everywhere, and never use your real name."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Gregory Stark is the son of a fat man."
  • (Bill Pullman) "After investigating her, I found myself in better shape than ever before in my life. To me, she will always be a singular unforgettable event, the only time I ever took leave of my objectivity. Perhaps the most able blackmailer of her time, she was at once the worthiest opponent and the greatest ally, and the only woman I have ever -- the only woman, period. And though I never would've anticipated it, in the end she did for me what I have done for so many: help solve a problem, first by observation, then by careful intervention; in other words, the Zero Effect."
  • (Bill Pullman) "My father was an evil, abusive man. And he killed my mother when she was sleeping. And then he slit his wrists, when I was thirteen. I don't talk about that much. I used to when it happened and then one day I woke up and, I don't know. Everything was different."
  • (Bill Pullman) "I've been awake for three days. Three -- Just love those amphetamines. Got to love them. Got to."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Sounds healthy."
  • (Bill Pullman) "It's good for my skin. You know if you do enough of that stuff over a very short period of time, you get, like, these canker sores on your tongue."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Passion is the enemy of precision. Forget the misnomer 'crime of passion'. All crime is passionate. It's passion that moves the criminal to act, to disrupt the static inertia of morality. The client's passion for this dead woman had facilitated his downfall. And the blackmailer's passion will facilitate hers. When you live with no passion at all, other people's passion come into glaring relief."
  • (Bill Pullman) "I can't possibly overstate the importance of good research. Everyone goes through life dropping crumbs. If you can recognize the crumbs, you can trace a path all the way back from your death certificate to the dinner and a movie that resulted in you in the first place. But research is an art, not a science, because anyone who knows what they're doing can find the crumbs, the wheres, whats, and whos. The art is in the whys: the ability to read between the crumbs, not to mix metaphors. For every event, there is a cause and effect. For every crime, a motive. And for every motive, a passion. The art of research is the ability to look at the details, and see the passion."
  • (Bill Pullman) "A few words here about following people. People know they're being followed when they turn around and see someone following them. They can't tell they're being followed if you get there first."
  • (Bill Pullman) "I did find one other thing of interest, though."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Holy s***, those are the keys. You found the gold Swiss Army knife."
  • (Bill Pullman) "I know."
  • (Ben Stiller) "And this is the safe deposit box key. Where'd you find them?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "They were in the sofa, under the cushion."
  • (Ben Stiller) "What?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "They were stuck in the couch in his office."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Was he hiding them there? Is that possible?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Not possible. That's where they fell out of his pocket, over a year ago."
  • (Ben Stiller) "So -- what do you make of this?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "I think that just as I feared, Ms. Sullivan doesn't know a thing about these keys."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Wait; the keys are a coincidence?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Yes."
  • (Ben Stiller) "That's; confusing."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Yep."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Doesn't seem like a good thing."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Sure it is. It's good because the man has been looking for his keys for a year. And I've found them."
  • (Bill Pullman) "You're watching whales? f*** the whales."

Kim Dickens as Gloria Sullivan

  • (Kim Dickens) "Alright, you're an accountant, so you would know: what is the Corrodium 3 Deduction?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "The Corrodium 3 Deduction -- That's a very good question because that, in fact, is probably the most widely misunderstood deduction in the book."
  • (Kim Dickens) "Really?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Indeed. The Corrodium 3 Deduction is an incentive used by large manufacturers who can limit their use of Class 3 decay toxins such as corrodium and -- malgorium. Anything else?"
  • (Kim Dickens) "What doesn't kill you defines you."

Ryan O'Neal as Gregory Stark

  • (Ryan O'Neal) "You can't buy silence. You can only rent it. So if someone has something on you, they are always going to have it. So the cost has no ceiling. And the fear has no end to it. That's why some knowledge, some information is like a terminal disease. It's contagious and it's fatal."
  • (Ryan O'Neal) "Is this your kid?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Nope. Just a rental."

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