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Funny Jewish Quotes

These hilarious quotes about Jews are all said by famous Jewish people throughout history. They are meant for entertainment only.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
Kinky Friedman

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman

America is a place where Jewish merchants sell Zen love beads to agnostics for Christmas.
John Burton

God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers.
Jewish Proverb

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers

To sing it right, Franco, you have to be Jewish.
Richard Tucker

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