(Article is below...)

17 Again (film) Quotes

17 Again (film) is a television program that debuted in 1970 . 17 Again stopped airing in 1970.

It features Adam Shankman as producer, Rolfe Kent in charge of musical score, and Tim Suhrstedt as head of cinematography.

17 Again (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of 17 Again (film) is 105 minutes long. 17 Again (film) is distributed by New Line Cinema.

The cast includes: Matthew Perry/Zac Efron as Mike O' Donnell, Hunter Parrish as Stan, Sterling Knight as Alex O'Donnell, Sterling Knight as Dean, Michelle Trachtenberg as Maggie O'Donnell, Thomas Lennon/Tyler Steelman as Ned Gold, Melora Hardin as Principal Jane Masterson, Matthew Perry/Zac Efron as Mike O'Donnell, Nicole Sullivan as Naomi, Brian Doyle-Murray as Janitor, and Margaret Cho as Mrs. Dell.

17 Again (film) Quotes

Matthew Perry/Zac Efron as Mike O' Donnell

  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) ". It's me, Mike O'Donnell, your best friend."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) ". You have an undescended testicle."
  • (Ned Freedman) "Googlable."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "You helped me cheat on a math test, but I got caught."
  • (Ned Freedman) "Public records."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "You asked Princess Leia to Junior Prom."
  • (Ned Freedman) "Covered by the local news."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Look, try to see things from my point of view. I'm extremely disappointed with my life."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "I never asked you to marry me."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Yeah, but i did."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "Well, you don't have to do me any favors then. We're not gonna hold each other back anymore. okay?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Scar --"
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "I'll see you in court"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "I had the craziest dream. I was 17. I was back in high school. It was terrible. Mmmm. Scar."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Scar? I don't see a scar. Look i know why you didn't want me to be with Stan. It's because you wanted me."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Oh. You wanna play games? I can play games."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Nononononono --"
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "I'm a hungry lioness, and your a baby gizell"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "MaggieMaggieMaggieMaggie -- nononononononono --"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "If you only knew how inappropriate and disfunctional this is. Stop it okay."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Maggie, I'm not the person. I'm not the person that you think I am."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "You're right. You're not. You're good. You're not like the others."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Not like the others. I'm very, very different. So different in fact that you and I could never, never ever ever be together. Stop Maggie."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Oh. Oh my god. What? What are you saying? Are you confused?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "I'm very confused. Yes, I'm extremely confused."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Oh my god, I -- I -- I get it now. Your hair is always perfectly quaffed and you have highlighs."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "What are you talking about?"
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "I mean, dude your jeans are really tight."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "I'm not gay. I'm in love, Maggie. I'm -- I'm in love. I've been in love with the same girl since i was 17, Maggie."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Does she go to our school?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "-- No --"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Do I know her?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "-- No --"
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Tell me her name"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "No, Maggie, No."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Okay, but you tell your girlfriend to keep a close eye on you."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Sweet baby Jesus."
  • (Ned Freedman) "I got you a little present. Don't worry about the cost."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Oh. A whistle."
  • (Ned Freedman) "Don't blow it. Play big."
  • (Ned Freedman) "Soooo, what did we learn in school today?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "That I'm a bad dad."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Why are you burping?"
  • (Sterling Knight) "What? I have tummy issues. Get over it."
  • (Ned Freedman) "What are you eating?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "I don't even know, all I know is that I'm hungry --"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "-- all the time."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "She's just nervous -- it's creepy, right?"
  • (Sterling Knight) "A little bit."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "She's so old; it's like --"
  • (Sterling Knight) "You dance with all your friends' moms?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Pretty much."
  • (Ned Freedman) "You look like a douche."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "I do not look like a douche."
  • (Unnamed) "What a douche."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "There's no path, Ned. There's no path. I can't do it. I just made it worse for them. My wife is happier, everyone's happier with me out of the picture, Ned. It's time to move on --"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Listen, girls. If you don't respect yourself, how do you expect others to respect you?"
  • (Lauren) "Don't respect me."
  • (Samantha) "No. Don't respect me."
  • (Jaime) "You don't even have to remember my name."
  • (Lauren) "Okay, wow."
  • (Samantha) "Yeah, that's like, really slutty."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "The divorce isn't final for another two weeks, so you have no right."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "Really? I spent the last 18 years of my life listening to you whine about what you could have done without me and I have no right?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "It's just that I put a lot of work in this yard."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "Did you? Really? Like the barbecue pit? Yeah, the way I remember that is that you spent about an hour working on it and then you spent the next two days complaining about how if you had gone to college then you could have had hired someone else to do it."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "I don't think it was a whole two days --"
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "What about the hammock over here?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Yeah --"
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "Yeah, I think you quit that one because you just decided not to try anymore."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "When you're young everything feels like the end of the world. But it's not; it's just the beginning. You might have to meet a few more jerks, but one day you're gonna meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you."
  • (Ned Freedman) "We have to go shopping, your shirt is bedazzled."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Bedazzled with rhinestones."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Carnations? What a douche."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "Mark."
  • (Sterling Knight) "That's okay, I'm a single dad. It's totally normal for son's to feel weird with their mom's date. Stepping in their dad's shoes protecting their castle."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "He's not my son."
  • (Sterling Knight) "Oh, then that's weird."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "It is."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "If this were Afganistan, you would be pulled backwards through the streets by mountain goats with your hands cut off -- just saying."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Scarlet, before you go through this, I want to remind you of September 7th, 1988. It was the first time that I saw you. You were reading Less Than Zero, and you were wearing a Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt. I'd never seen anything so perfect. I remember thinking that I had to have you or I'd die -- then you whispered that you loved me at the homecoming dance, and I felt so peaceful -- and safe -- because I knew that no matter what happened, from that day on, nothing can ever be that bad -- because I had you. And then I, uh -- I grew up and I lost my way. And I blamed you for my failures. And I know that you think you have to do this today -- but I don't want you to. But I guess -- if I love you, I should let you move on."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Come on, man. Don't you ever wanna go back and do high school again?"
  • (Ned Freedman) "No. I'm rich and no one has shoved my head in a toilet today."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Alex, what happened at the tryouts? How did it go?"
  • (Sterling Knight) "It was good, Mark had a great tryout he played great."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Yeah."
  • (Sterling Knight) "And so did I, I made the team."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "Oh, that's great I'm so proud of you."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "You looked great out there."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "Oh Mark that's super inappropriate."

Thomas Lennon/Tyler Steelman as Ned Gold

  • (Thomas Lennon/Tyler Steelman) "What are you wearing?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "This is cool. This is hip. There's a picture of Kevin Federline wearing the exact same thing. What are you wearing? You're supposed to show up like a dad, you look like Clay Aiken"
  • (Thomas Lennon/Tyler Steelman) "Leave him out of this."
  • (Thomas Lennon/Tyler Steelman) "So how's your salad?"
  • (Melora Hardin) "Good, the arugula is really fresh. So, how did you learn to speak Elvish?"
  • (Thomas Lennon/Tyler Steelman) "The Learning Annex."
  • (Thomas Lennon/Tyler Steelman) "I can't act normal."
  • (Melora Hardin) "Clearly."
  • (Thomas Lennon/Tyler Steelman) "I'm just trying to impress you. I don't come to places like this. I'm a dork. I'm the kind of person who spends $10,000 on Gandalf the Grey's quarterstaff from the Two Towers."
  • (Melora Hardin) "Yes that does make you a dork. Especially since Gandalf the Grey only appears in Fellowship. He returns in Two Towers as Gandalf the White."

Melora Hardin as Principal Jane Masterson

  • (Melora Hardin) "You can plunder my dungeon anytime."
  • (Ned Freedman) "I'll bring my longbow."
  • (Melora Hardin) "Are you peacocking?"

Nicole Sullivan as Naomi

  • (Nicole Sullivan) "Mike."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Nyomi."
  • (Nicole Sullivan) "Nay -omi."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "I don't care."

Michelle Trachtenberg as Maggie O'Donnell

  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Oh I get it. You want to play games. Okay, I'll be the hungry lioness and you can be the baby gazelle."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Why is the new guy waving at me?"
  • (Samantha) "I don't know, but if he were an apple he would be a delicious."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "You're different then the other guys."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Yes, yes, very very different. So different that we could never ever ever be togother."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Oh, are you confused?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Well -- yes I am very confused right now."
  • (Michelle Trachtenberg) "Oh, I get it. I should have known I mean your hair is always so sculpted and dude, your pants are really tight."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "-- I'm not gay."

Brian Doyle-Murray as Janitor

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Margaret Cho as Mrs. Dell

  • (Margaret Cho) "Okay, today we will be continuing our discussion with human sexuality and us we discussed the official school policy "abstinence"."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Now that is very sensible. I'm glad some here has there head screwed on straight. I think all of us should make a pact to abstain from sex. now who's with me? You guys come on."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Maggie?"

Sterling Knight as Alex O'Donnell

  • (Sterling Knight) "Uh -- can I get a little help in here?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Alex? How did this? Who did this to you?"
  • (Sterling Knight) "The basketball team."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "But why? You're one of them, you're popular"
  • (Sterling Knight) "Look this is kinda personal and I don't know you."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "I'm sorry, I'm Mark Gold, your uncle Ned's kid. I just started here."
  • (Sterling Knight) "Oh -- cool -- cool. Yeah, I'd shake your hand, but it's taped to my ass."
  • (Sterling Knight) "Hey mom this is Mark, Uncle Ned's bastard."
  • (Scarlett O'Donnell) "Wow --"
  • (Sterling Knight) "I know someone had a kid with Uncle Ned"
  • (Sterling Knight) "."
  • (Sterling Knight) "Do you dance with all your friends' moms?"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Pretty much --"

Hunter Parrish as Stan

  • (Hunter Parrish) "Give me my ball back bitch."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "You know Stan I feel sorry for you."
  • (Hunter Parrish) "You don't know me."
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "Oh, but I do all too well. You're the man. Captain of the basketball team, dates the pretty girls, high school is your kingdom. But people, Stan is a bully. Why? It'd be way too easy to say Stan preys on the weak simply because he's a dick. No -- no -- Stan here is much more complex than that. See, according to leading psychiatrists, Stan is a bully for one of three reasons --"
  • (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) "One -- underneath all that male bravado, there's an insecure little girl banging on the closet door trying to get out. Two -- like a caveman, Stan's brain is underdeveloped. Therefore, Stan is unable to use self-control. And so he acts out aggressively. Three -- Stan has a small wiener. Don't hurt yourself, big boy."
  • (Hunter Parrish) "I don't need this."
  • (Hunter Parrish) "Great, fine. more for me, i got enough for the whole weekend."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.

Additional Film and TV Quotes

Female Prisoner Scorpion: 701's Grudge Song Quotes | Blue Murder (UK TV series) Quotes | The Joey Bishop Show (talk show) Quotes | The Golden Path (TV series) Quotes | Professor Poopsnagle's Steam Zeppelin Quotes | My Sweet Charlie Quotes | I Wanna Be A Model Quotes | Catacombs (2007 film) Quotes | Gamer (2009 film) Quotes | Versions of Blade Runner Quotes | Our Blood Will Not Forgive Quotes | Alias Jimmy Valentine (1928 film) Quotes | A Bird in the Head Quotes | A Gem of a Jam Quotes | Higher Than a Kite Quotes | Three Little Twirps Quotes | The Night the Animals Talked Quotes | 29th and Gay Quotes | Who Do You Think You Are? (Australian TV series) Quotes | The Baron of Arizona Quotes | The Ritz (film) Quotes | Eve of Destruction (film) Quotes | The Judge and Jake Wyler Quotes | Out of the Blue (2008 TV series) Quotes | The Man Who Came to Dinner (film) Quotes |