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Articles > Relationship > Break Up > How to Write a Break up Letter

How to Write a Break up Letter

By Gary R. Hess. Category: Break Up

To begin with, break up letters should be reserved for teenagers, abusive relationships, people who you never want to see again, and for the times when it's simply too hard to deal with in person or on the phone; otherwise you are asking for trouble. Break up letters are one of the easiest ways to handle a break up, but it may also leave a huge mess behind. So if you want to stay friends, take the high road and tell them in person.

Hint: I don't like SMS break ups, email break ups, or telephone break ups. In my opinion, it has to be in person or through a letter. There's simply no compassion when using the others. They are the easy way out. Instead, save your partner some heartache (however little it may save) and do it in person.

If you truly want to write a letter instead of doing it in person, try to follow these rules when writing:

  1. Keep the letter precise. Don't beat around the bush and tell them you love them or once did love them. The longer you let it this type of thinking go on, the harder it will be for your future ex to get over the relationship.
  2. Keep it short. No one wants to read more than what they have to when reading a letter like this, so keep it under a page. Of course, there are some instances where longer letters may suffice: such as moving or some random complicated reason. Nonetheless, if you are simply moving and you wish to break up, tell them in person and then leave the letter behind.
  3. Make sure they understand that the relationship is over. If you leave any hint that it's not over, they will be back trying to win you over. Don't let it happen. Let it end.

Simply follow these rules and you should be fine. Just remember that if you think there is a possibility of a future relationship, you might want to handle your break up a different way or simply just tell them (in person) that you want a break and explain why. Otherwise, make sure they understand that the relationship is over and you aren't coming back.

Just for insurance, if your relationship is too far out of hand and abusive, you may consider getting a restraining order or moving away/staying with family or friends for a while until your ex-partner relaxes. Break ups can cause bottled up emotions, specifically anger, to break out.