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Attention Scum Quotes

Attention Scum is a television show that first aired in 2001 on BBC Two. Attention Scum completed its run in 2001.

Attention Scum was on for 6 episodes. It features Richard Webb as producer, and Richard Thomas (musician) as composer. Attention Scum is executive produced by Myfanwy Moore. Attention Scum is created by Simon Munnery.

Each episode of Attention Scum is 30 minutes long.

Attention Scum Quotes

  • (Unnamed) ""The pen is mightier than the sword," you claim. I shall meet you at dawn tomorrow in Hyde Park. Bring your pens and prepare to have your logic tested by steel."
  • (Unnamed) "I remember when I posed as a customs officer to meet Oscar Wilde. "Have you anything to declare?" I enquired. "I have nothing to declare but my genius," he replied. "I shall put that down as 'nothing', then, shall I?" I said. For I am the wittiest man on Earth bar none, and have two sharp fists to prove it."
  • (Unnamed) "A fool and his money are easily parted, but they often retain their hair well into their fifties."
  • (Unnamed) "Greatness sits upon my shoulders just as a dog urinates upon the pavement. That is, with naturalness and ease, and some offence to the casual observer."
  • (Unnamed) ""Don't count your chickens before they're hatched," you assert. I say count them. And then dismiss them for what they are: chickens. Merely chickens."
  • (Unnamed) "And I say thus: "All the world's a stage, its inhabitants merely actors. And thus, by definition, ponces.""
  • (Unnamed) "Question: What is the greatest crime of the 20th century? Answer: Birmingham. And it's growing."
  • (Unnamed) "And you say, "He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword." O indeed so. Likewise he who lives by the pen, or by the fax machine, or by the word processor; all shall die by the sword. Only he who lives by the tank shall remain immune."
  • (Unnamed) ""Cleanliness is next to godliness," you claim. Indeed. And the chip shop is next to the hairdresser's. It does not persuade me to visit either."
  • (Unnamed) "Art gallery? spare me talk of you "art galleries". What need have I of paintings when I possess several high quality mirrors?"
  • (Unnamed) ""The poor are always with us." Thus speaks the man who hath not learnt to use a whip correctly."
  • (Unnamed) "What to say after sex? "Thank you," seems like too much. "I'm sorry," too little."
  • (Unnamed) "It is said that at the age of 50 each man becomes what he most despised at the age of 25, and I live in constant fear lest I become a badly organised coach trip to Bournemouth."
  • (Unnamed) "The wise man picks his friends from a hat. The truly wise man picks the hat."
  • (Unnamed) "Admire wealthy people. They will not suspect your motives."

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