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Autopsy (House) Quotes

Autopsy (House) is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Autopsy completed its run in 1970.

Autopsy (House) Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "I'm gonna get a plastic surgeon, get the Twinkie back in the wrapper."
  • (Unnamed) "We could bolt her to the table."
  • (Unnamed) "Gruesome and low tech. Kiss me, I love it."
  • (Unnamed) "She's such a brave girl, I want to see how brave she is when you tell her she's gonna die."
  • (Unnamed) "Go to hell."
  • (Unnamed) "If she's never kissed a boy, it's a fair bet she's never had sex."
  • (Unnamed) "Tell that to all the hookers who won't kiss me on the mouth."
  • (Unnamed) "If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin."
  • (Unnamed) "We can't do exploratory surgery on her brain."
  • (Unnamed) "Are you sure you're not a neurologist?"
  • (Unnamed) "You're actually talking about killing her."
  • (Unnamed) "Just for a little while. I'll bring her right back."
  • (Unnamed) "Cancer doesn't make you special."
  • (Unnamed) "Just like Abraham did it."
  • (Unnamed) "Balls are in your court, Doctor."
  • (Unnamed) "If you're dying, suddenly everybody loves you."
  • (Unnamed) "You have a cane, nobody even likes you."
  • (Unnamed) "I loosened it."
  • (Unnamed) "I opened it."
  • (Unnamed) "Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?"
  • (Unnamed) "Are you high?"
  • (Unnamed) "If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted."
  • (Unnamed) "It's Wednesday."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm taking a sick day."
  • (Unnamed) "Take some Claritin."
  • (Unnamed) "Everyone's a doctor suddenly."
  • (Unnamed) "It's written down in my advanced health care directive, should I be incapacitated in any way you run the board, then Foreman. Chase, you're just not ready yet."
  • (Unnamed) "She's a rock."
  • (Unnamed) "She's brave."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, yeah, yeah --"
  • (Unnamed) "You did it, didn't you?"
  • (Unnamed) "It -- it wasn't sick. It was just one kiss. One kiss for a dying girl."
  • (Unnamed) "One kiss. Thank you. Thanks."
  • (Unnamed) "And you stay away from the patient."
  • (Unnamed) "What'd I do?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh well, you'd just get all warm and cuddly around the dying girl and insinuate yourself; end up in a custody battle."
  • (Unnamed) "We've got a patient who for no obvious reason is hallucinating. Since it's not obvious, I thought we'd go with subtle."
  • (Unnamed) "It doesn't matter. If her sat percentage is off, that means her blood isn't getting enough oxygen; that's a problem with her lungs, not her heart."
  • (Unnamed) "And a lung problem isn't causing hallucinations."
  • (Unnamed) "But the lungs could lead us somewhere that is."
  • (Unnamed) "Welcome to the end of the thought process."
  • (Unnamed) "The tumor is Afghanistan, the clot is Buffalo. Does that need more explanation?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oxygen saturation is 94%, check her heart."
  • (Unnamed) "Her oxygen saturation is normal."
  • (Unnamed) "It's off by one percentage point."
  • (Unnamed) "Within range. It's normal."
  • (Unnamed) "If her DNA was off by one percentage point, she'd be a dolphin."
  • (Unnamed) "These cancer kids, you can't put them all on a pedestal. It's basic statistics. Some of them have gotta be whiney little fraidy-cats."

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