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Bedazzled (2000 film) Quotes

Bedazzled (2000 film) is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Bedazzled stopped airing in 1970.

It features Trevor Albert as producer, David Newman (composer) in charge of musical score, and Bill Pope as head of cinematography.

Bedazzled (2000 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Bedazzled (2000 film) is 93 minutes long. Bedazzled (2000 film) is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Brendan Fraser as Elliot Richards, Elizabeth Hurley as The Devil, Toby Huss as Jerry, and Frances O'Connor as Alison Gardner.

Bedazzled (2000 film) Quotes

Brendan Fraser as Elliot Richards

  • (Brendan Fraser) "I think somebody's had tee many martoonis."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "You know, there's no "I" in the word team. And this is a team effort. And I just wanna say that I'm real proud to be associated with these fine individuals that I h-have the pleasure of working with."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Mayo-nayo-naise. Swimming by the sandy shore, dancing up among the waves, dolphin, dolphin I adore everything you are. You're so much more than a fish to me, my playful friend beneath the sea."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "But it's my soul. I can't give you my soul."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "What are you, James Brown?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I'm gay. Well, thanks for dropping by."
  • (Brendan Fraser) ""I, Elliot Richards, hereafter known as the Damned"; the Damned?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "How about "the Darned," sound better?"
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "She's the devil that one."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "What?"
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "I said she's the devil -- that lady cop."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Oh -- yea. I guess."
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "So what are you in for brother?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Eternity"
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "Oooo -- that's a long time. You must have done some really bad s***."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Yea. I sold my soul."
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "Hope you got something good for it."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "As a matter of fact, I got nothing for it."
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "Well that's a really bad deal if you ask me."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Well I'm not asking you."
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "Doesn't really matter, though. Can't sell your soul anyway."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Oh, really? Why do you say that?"
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "Because it doesn't really belong to you in the first place. No way, no how."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "So who does it belong to?"
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "It belongs to God. That universal spirit that animates and binds all things in existence. The Devil's gonna try to confuse you, that's her game. But in the end, you're gonna see clear to who and what you are, and what you're here to do. Now, you gonna make some mistakes along the way, everybody does. But if you just open up your heart, and open up your mind, you'll get it."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "-- Who are you?"
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "Just a friend, brother. Just a really good friend."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I wish I were the most sensitive man in the world."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Right. Okay."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Oh, wait. I wish I were the most emotionally sensitive man in the world."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Damn. I was hoping you wouldn't catch that. I could've had a lot of fun with that one."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Oh, yeah. You've been a really big help so far."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I know. I've been really naughty, haven't I? Maybe a good spanking's in order?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Is that all you ever think about? Do you think everything is about sex?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "No, of course not. I mean, there's greed, gluttony, sloth, anger, vanity, envy --"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Damn the Devil. Damn the Devil to Hell."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "No. That's not fair."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Fair? Who do you think you're talking to? I don't recall anybody ever accusing me of being fair before. I think I'm insulted."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I'm telling you, the Devil gypped me for a HAMBURGER."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I'm starting to think that women don't really know what they want."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Amen."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I don't get it, though. Why are you, you know -- being nice?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Look, Elliot, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The whole good-and-evil thing? You know --"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Him and me? It really comes down to you. You don't have to look very hard for heaven or hell. They're right here on Earth. You make the choice, and I guess you just made it."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "You can't give sick people 'tic tacs.'"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Sick people have notoriously bad breath, I'm performing a public service here."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "This truly is the work of the devil."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Ah -- well, you know, you go out there and you give a 110%, and you wanna play good, and, you know, you hope you play good -- I think we played pretty good tonight."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "What are you doing here?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Just think of me as a computer virus."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I think of you as a PLAGUE."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "This is breaking and entering."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I know. It's fun, isn't it?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "You can't read that, that's private stuff."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "You're telling me, listen to this. "Last night was the most incredible night of my life. I never did get any of the guys' names, but I brought them back home and all five of them banged me like a Salvation Army drum"."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "What?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Kidding."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Maybe I should call you a cab -- Although it's gonna be hard to find one that'll go to Hell this time of night."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "OOOOOOh. What a delightfully piquant wit."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I think you're hot."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Baby, you've got no idea --"
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "So what you in for, brother?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Eternity."
  • (Elliot's Cellmate) "Ooh, that's a long time."

Elizabeth Hurley as The Devil

  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "How would you like to make one simple decision that'll change your life forever?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Ok, I'm glad scientology works for you but --"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I saw you talking to a woman."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Um, yeah, but, I'm not with her."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "But you'd like to be. Huh?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "What makes you say that?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Oh, I dont know, when a man says he'd give anything to have a certain woman in his life, I just assume she means something to him."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "It's not easy being the Barbra Streisand of Evil."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I'm not all peaches and cream, you know. I do have a darker side, and believe me, it's not pretty."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Now listen to me, you disgusting little maggot. This is your last chance before the big weenie roast. Make a wish or forever burn in hell."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "You know, you'd think that meeting the Devil would be interesting enough but no. All people want to know about is Him. Like He's so bloody fascinating."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "So He's a man?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Yeah, most men think they're God, this one just happens to be right."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I aim to please, handsome."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "You're so nervous, Elliot."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "How do you know my name?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I'm psychic. Plus it's on your name tag."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "My life is a living hell."
  • (McDonalds Employee) "Hi, how ya doin'. What can I get you?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "A Big Mac and a large Coke."
  • (McDonalds Employee) "Fries?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "No."
  • (McDonalds Employee) "It comes to $3.47."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Do you have $3.47? I left my purse in the Underworld."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I wasn't kidding when I said I liked you. I do Elliot. I think you have massive potential. If you're looking at an eternity in hell, let me tell you, it wouldn't hurt to have a friend like me."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Paragraph one states that I, the Devil, a not-for-profit cooperation, with offices in Purgatory, Hell, and Los Angeles, will give you seven wishes to use as you see fit."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Seven? Why not eight?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Why not six? I don't know. Seven just sounds right."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Seven utterly fabulous wishes for one piddling, little soul?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Do you think your mommy and daddy just made me up so you'd be a good boy?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "It's like your appendix. You'll never even miss it."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Yeah? Well, if it's so useless, then how come you want it so much?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Oh, aren't you a clever one?"

Toby Huss as Jerry

  • (Toby Huss) "Oh, this is just sad."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Will you shut up, bitch."

Frances O'Connor as Alison Gardner

  • (Frances O'Connor) "Don't you think that secular humanism is yummy?"

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