Bull Durham Quotes

Bull Durham is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Bull Durham stopped airing in 1970.

It features Thom Mount as producer, Michael Convertino in charge of musical score, and Bobby Byrne (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Bull Durham is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Bull Durham is 108 minutes long. Bull Durham is distributed by Orion Pictures.

The cast includes: Susan Sarandon as Annie Savoy, Kevin Costner as Crash Davis, Trey Wilson as Skip, Robert Wuhl as Larry, Jenny Robertson as Millie, and Susan Sarandon as Annie.

Bull Durham Quotes

Susan Sarandon as Annie Savoy

• (Susan Sarandon) "Baseball may be a religion full of magic, cosmic truth, and the fundamental ontological riddles of our time, but it's also a job."

• (Susan Sarandon) "I think probably with my love of four-legged creatures and hooves and everything, that in another lifetime I was probably Catherine the Great, or Francis of Assisi. I'm not sure which one. What do you think?"
• (Kevin Costner) "How come in former lifetimes, everybody is someone famous?"
• (Kevin Costner) "I mean,"
• (Kevin Costner) "how come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?"
• (Susan Sarandon) "Because it doesn't work that way, you fool."

• (Susan Sarandon) "Right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?"
• (Jenny Robertson) "Well, he f***s like he pitches; sorta all over the place."

• (Susan Sarandon) "These are the ground rules. I hook up with one guy a season. Usually takes me a couple weeks to pick the guy; kinda my own spring training. And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far, so I just thought we should kinda get to know each other."
• (Kevin Costner) "Time out. Why do you get to choose?"
• (Susan Sarandon) "What?"
• (Kevin Costner) "Why do you get to choose? I mean, why don't I get to choose, why doesn't he get to choose?"
• (Susan Sarandon) "Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. Why, there are laws we don't understand that bring us together and tear us apart. Uh, it's like pheromones. You get three ants together, they can't do dick. You get 300 million of them, they can build a cathedral."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "So is somebody going to go to bed with somebody or what?"
• (Susan Sarandon) "Honey, you are a regular nuclear meltdown. You better cool off. Ha ha, ha ha."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Oh, where are you going?"
• (Kevin Costner) "After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart."
• (Susan Sarandon) "What do you believe in, then?"
• (Kevin Costner) "Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the p*****, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."
• (Kevin Costner) "Goodnight."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Oh my. Crash --"
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "Hey, Annie, what's all this molecule stuff?"

• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "You're playing with my mind."
• (Susan Sarandon) "I'm trying to play with your body."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "I knew it, you're trying to seduce me."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Well of course I'm trying to seduce you, for God's sake, and I'm doing a damn poor job of it -- Aren't I pretty?"
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "God, I think you're real cute."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute. I want to be exotic, and mysterious."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "You are, you're exotic, and mysterious, and -- cute -- and -- That's why I'd better leave."

• (Susan Sarandon) "Walt Whitman once said, "I see great things in baseball. It's our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us." You could look it up."

• (Susan Sarandon) "Oh, we didn't order these, honey."
• (Cocktail Waitress) "I know, he did."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Who?"
• (Cocktail Waitress) "The guy in the booth."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Who's that?"
• (Himself (The Clown Prince of Baseball)) "That's Crash Davis. Hey, Crash. Come here."
• (Susan Sarandon) "He's kind of cute."
• (Himself (The Clown Prince of Baseball)) "He's been in more ballparks than I have. A hell of a guy. You know, he's really different. I actually saw him read a book without pictures once."

• (Susan Sarandon) "Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn't listen to what a woman says when she's in the throes of passion. They say the darndest things."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "Yeah, you said "Crash"."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Honey, would you rather I were making love to him using your name, or making love to you using his name?"

• (Susan Sarandon) "OK, what does it say?"
• (Jenny Robertson) "It says, "I want to make love to you.""
• (Susan Sarandon) "Oh my."

• (Susan Sarandon) "The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self awareness."

• (Susan Sarandon) "I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring,"
• (Susan Sarandon) "which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under.250, not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball; now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball."

• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "The other day Crash called a woman's pu -- p***** -- um, well, you know how the hair is kind of in a V-shape?"
• (Susan Sarandon) "Yes, I do."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. He said that a man could get lost in there and never be heard from again."

Kevin Costner as Crash Davis

• (Kevin Costner) "The rose goes in the front, big guy."

• (Kevin Costner) "What's wrong?"
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "I'm nervous; my old man's here."
• (Kevin Costner) "Where?"
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "He's behind home plate; don't look."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "Don't look."
• (Kevin Costner) "Hey, he's waving. He's just your father, man; he's as full of s*** as anybody."

• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "You told him I was gonna throw a deuce, didn't you?"
• (Kevin Costner) "Yup."

• (Unnamed) "So how does it feel to get your first professional win?"
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "It feels out there. I mean, it's a major rush. I mean, it feels radical in kind of a tubular sort of way, but most of all, it feels out there."
• (Kevin Costner) "Hopeless. This is utterly f***ing hopeless."

• (Kevin Costner) "Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob."

• (Kevin Costner) "I have been known on occasion to howl at the moon."

• (Kevin Costner) "This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He's shaking me off. You believe that s***? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well."

• (Kevin Costner) "Hey. Hey."
• (Kevin Costner) "Why are you shaking me off?"
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "I want to give him the heat and announce my presence with authority."
• (Kevin Costner) "Announce your f***ing presence with authority? This guy is a first ball, fast ball hitter."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "Well he hasn't seen my heat."
• (Kevin Costner) "Allright meat, show him your heat."
• (Kevin Costner) "Fast ball."

• (Kevin Costner) "I'm too old for this s***. Why the hell am I back in A ball?"
• (Joe Reardon) "'Cause of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh. Big club's got a hundred grand in him."
• (Robert Wuhl) "He's got a million dollar arm, and a five cent head."
• (Joe Reardon) "Had a gun on him tonight. The last five pitched he threw were faster that the first five, He has the best young arm I've seen in 30 years. You've been around. You're smart, professional. We want you to mature the kid. We want you to room with him on the road, stay on his case all year. He could go all the way."
• (Kevin Costner) "Where can I go?"
• (Joe Reardon) "You can keep going to the ballpark, and keep getting paid to do it. Beats the hell out of working at Sears."
• (Robert Wuhl) "Sears sucks, Crash."

• (Kevin Costner) "Did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your left? Huh? Did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your LEFT?"
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "My left."
• (Kevin Costner) "Good. That's good; when you get in a fight with a drunk you don't hit him with your pitching hand. God, I can't keep giving you these free lessons so quit screwin' around and help me up."

• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "That was great, huh?"
• (Kevin Costner) "Your fastball's up, your curveball's hanging. In the Show, they would've ripped you."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "Can't you even let me enjoy the moment?"
• (Kevin Costner) "The moment's over."

• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "I don't hit no man first."
• (Kevin Costner) "All right, then --"
• (Kevin Costner) "-- hit me in the chest with that."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "I'd kill you."
• (Kevin Costner) "Yeah? From what I hear, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a f***ing boat."

• (Kevin Costner) "I wouldn't dig in if I was you. Next one might be at your head. I don't know where it's gonna go. Swear to God."

• (Kevin Costner) "Last chance. Your place or mine?"
• (Susan Sarandon) "Despite my rejection of most Judeo-Christian ethics, I am, within the framework of the baseball season, monogamous."

• (Kevin Costner) "Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think?"

• (Kevin Costner) "I dare you to throw the hammer. You ain't that stupid."

• (Kevin Costner) "It's time to work on your interviews."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "My interviews? What do I gotta do?"
• (Kevin Costner) "You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: "We gotta play it one day at a time.""
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "Got to play -- it's pretty boring."
• (Kevin Costner) "'Course it's boring, that's the point. Write it down."

• (Kevin Costner) "You just got lesson number one: don't think; it can only hurt the ball club."

• (Kevin Costner) "C'mon Meat, throw me that weak-ass s***."

• (Kevin Costner) "You don't want a ballplayer; you want a stable pony."
• (Trey Wilson) "Nah."
• (Kevin Costner) "Well, my triple-A contract gets bought out so I can hold some flavor-of-the-month's dick in the bus leagues, is that it? Well, f*** this f***ing game."
• (Kevin Costner) "I quit, all right? I f***ing quit."
• (Kevin Costner) "Who we play tomorrow?"
• (Trey Wilson) "Winston-Salem. Batting practice at 11:30."

• (Kevin Costner) "Come on, Rook. Show us that million-dollar arm, 'cause I got a good idea about that five-cent head of yours."

• (Kevin Costner) "Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once; the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains."

• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "How come you don't like me?"
• (Kevin Costner) "Because you don't respect yourself, which is your problem. But you don't respect the game, and that's my problem. You got a gift."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "What do I got?"
• (Kevin Costner) "You got a gift. When you were a baby, the Gods reached down and turned your right arm into a thunderbolt. You got a Hall-of-Fame arm, but you're pissing it away."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "I ain't pissing nothing away. I got a Porsche already; I got a 911 with a quadrophonic Blaupunkt."
• (Kevin Costner) "Christ, you don't need a quadrophonic Blaupunkt. What you need is a curveball. In the show, everybody can hit a fastball."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "Well, how would you know? YOU been in the majors?"
• (Kevin Costner) "Yeah, I've been in the majors."

• (Umpire) "Call me a cocksucker again, and you're outta here."
• (Kevin Costner) "You're a cocksucker."
• (Umpire) "You're -- outta."
• (Robert Wuhl) "Whoa. What the f*** is that?"

• (Kevin Costner) "Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls; it's more democratic."
• (Ebby Calvin LaLoosh) "What's this guy know anyway? If he's so great how come he's been in the minors for ten years? If he's so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?"
• (Kevin Costner) "Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don't know s***, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you'll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax. Let's have some fun out here. This game's fun, OK? Fun god****it. And don't hold the ball so hard, OK? It's an egg. Hold it like an egg."

Trey Wilson as Skip

• (Trey Wilson) "You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry."
• (Robert Wuhl) "Lollygaggers."
• (Trey Wilson) "Lollygaggers."

• (Trey Wilson) "Don't take this the wrong way Millie, but if I catch you in here again I'll ban you from the ballpark."
• (Jenny Robertson) "You can't ban me from the ballpark because my daddy donated the scoreboard."
• (Trey Wilson) "What do we need a scoreboard for? We haven't scored any runs all season."

• (Trey Wilson) "What's our record, Larry?"
• (Robert Wuhl) "Eight and sixteen."
• (Trey Wilson) "Eight -- and sixteen. How'd we ever win eight?"
• (Robert Wuhl) "It's a miracle."
• (Trey Wilson) "It's a miracle. This -- is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball. You got it?"

• (Trey Wilson) "Crash Davis? Joe Riggins."
• (Kevin Costner) "And you Larry Hockett should remember me, 'cause about five years ago in the Texas League you were pitching for El Paso and I was batting clean-up for Shreveport. You hung an 0 and 2 curve ball in a 3-2 game in the bottom of the 8th and I tattooed it over the Michelin Tire sign and beat you 4-3."
• (Robert Wuhl) "Yeah, I remember. I should'a thrown a slider. Damn, Crash, nice to see you."

Robert Wuhl as Larry

• (Robert Wuhl) "Who's this? Who are you?"
• (Kevin Costner) "I'm the player to be named later."

• (Robert Wuhl) "Well if there was one chick who would know you were pulling your hips out early it'd be Annie."

• (Robert Wuhl) "Sears sucks, Crash. Boy, I worked there once. Sold Lady Kenmores. Nasty, whoa, nasty."

• (Joe Reardon) "He walked 18."
• (Robert Wuhl) "New league record."
• (Joe Reardon) "Struck out 18."
• (Robert Wuhl) "Another new league record. In addition he hit the sportswriter, the public address announcer, the bull mascot twice --"
• (Robert Wuhl) "Also new league records. But, Joe, this guy's got some serious s***."

• (Robert Wuhl) "Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?"
• (Kevin Costner) "Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live -- is it a live rooster?"
• (Kevin Costner) "We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present."
• (Kevin Costner) "Is that about right?"
• (Kevin Costner) "We're dealing with a lot of s***."
• (Robert Wuhl) "Okay, well, uh -- candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two. Go get 'em."

Jenny Robertson as Millie

• (Teddy Cullinane) "I've never seen Crash so angry. And frankly, sports fans, he used a word that's a no-no with umpires."
• (Jenny Robertson) "Crash must've called the guy a cocksucker."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Mmmmm. How romantic."

• (Jenny Robertson) "Annie -- do you think I deserve to wear white?"
• (Susan Sarandon) "Honey, we all deserve to wear white."

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