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Confidence and Paranoia Quotes

Confidence and Paranoia is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Confidence and Paranoia stopped airing in 1970.

Confidence and Paranoia Quotes

  • (Carol) "Oh. You must know; I'm dying."
  • (Jim) "I know, Carol. Dr. Graham told me everything."
  • (Holly) "Emergency. There's an emergency going on. It's still going on."
  • (Paranoia) "Do you know he used to practice kissing on his own?"
  • (Rimmer) "How?"
  • (Paranoia) "He made lips out of one hand and waggled his thumb through the gap, like a tongue."
  • (Rimmer) "That is priceless. It really is."
  • (Paranoia) "Seventeen years old and he used to snog his own hand."
  • (Paranoia) "Once, in front of the whole school, he called his gym teacher "Daddy". I could've died with embarrassment."
  • (Rimmer) "Oh, what a silly thing to call a gym master."
  • (Paranoia) "I'm racked with guilt. I hate him."
  • (Rimmer) "Well, if you hate him, why do you talk about him so much?"
  • (Paranoia) "Because he makes my life one big, humiliating, cringe-making, guilt-ridden hell."
  • (Rimmer) "Now. Stab him. Stab him. Stab him. Quick. Stab him."
  • (Rimmer) "Uh, you haven't met Stabem, have you? He's one of our scutters. Stabem, meet Lister's paranoia; Lister's paranoia, this is Stabem."
  • (The Cat) "Hey. You're awake."
  • (Lister) "Yeah, I've just woke up."
  • (The Cat) "Yeah, well, I've brought you some presents."
  • (Lister) "Aw, you shouldn't have bothered."
  • (The Cat) "Ha ha. Well, I'm that kind of guy. Hey, let's see what we've got in the magic bag here. I got you some grapes."
  • (The Cat) "And I got you an orange."
  • (Lister) "Thanks a lot."
  • (The Cat) "That's all right. Hey, well, all this enormous generosity has made me tired. I'm going to bed."
  • (The Cat) "Ah, yes, indeedy."
  • (Confidence) "Oxygen is for losers."
  • (Rimmer) "These two are symptoms of your disease. They're like the spots in measles, the swellings in mumps, the funny walk in cystitis."
  • (Lister) "Love is what makes us different from animals."
  • (Rimmer) "No, Lister, what makes us different from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals."
  • (Rimmer) "Holly, put a trace on Paranoia."
  • (Holly) "What's a trace?"
  • (Rimmer) "It's space jargon. It means find him."
  • (Holly) "No, it doesn't. You just made it up to be cool."
  • (Rimmer) "Love is a device invented by bank managers to make us overdrawn."
  • (Rimmer) "I don't believe it, he's socializing with a figment of his imagination."
  • (Paranoia) "Yes."
  • (Confidence) "King, you can do anything. Anything."
  • (Paranoia) "anything. He can't do anything."

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