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John Tucker Must Die Quotes

John Tucker Must Die is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . John Tucker Must Die stopped airing in 1970.

It features Bob Cooper as producer, Richard Gibbs in charge of musical score, and Anthony B. Richmond as head of cinematography.

John Tucker Must Die is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of John Tucker Must Die is 89 minutes long. John Tucker Must Die is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Jenny McCarthy as Lori, Arielle Kebbel as Carrie, Sophia Bush as Beth, Ashanti as Heather, Brittany Snow as Kate, Jesse Metcalfe as John Tucker, Patricia Drake as Coach Williams, Penn Badgley as Scott, Kevin McNulty as Basketball Coach, and Fatso-Fasano as Tommy.

John Tucker Must Die Quotes

Brittany Snow as Kate

  • (Brittany Snow) "Oh, well before I say yes, how exactly did he get burned?"
  • (Penn Badgley) "Uh, well, that is open to interpretation -- because he will say that it is my fault, but I clearly said -- "Dear God, man, you're on fire. Run for your life.""
  • (Brittany Snow) "A clear warning."
  • (Penn Badgley) "Yeah."
  • (Brittany Snow) "How exactly did he get burned?"
  • (Penn Badgley) "There's indisputable evidence, that I might have caused the explosion -- and actually, he will tell you that it's my fault -- but clearly I said to him "Dear God, MAN, you are on fire -- RUN for your life.""
  • (Unnamed) "Holy Jamma Lamma. Kiss her again -- Do it --"
  • (Brittany Snow) "Get out of here, you little perv."
  • (Brittany Snow) "I wish it could just be simple, like a retro pop song, "I want you to want me." Boom. End of story. We all live happily ever after. But it is never really like that, is it?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "Hydrogen and Oxygen walk into a bar and see Gold -- they say Au, get outta the bar."
  • (Penn Badgley) "Um --"
  • (Brittany Snow) "Because Au is the atomic symbol for Gold --"
  • (Penn Badgley) "Yeah I got it."
  • (Brittany Snow) "I don't get it. I mean, these girls all seem so confident and cool. How do they not know that John's cheating on all of them?"
  • (Unnamed) "He's a total operator. He goes out with girls from different cliques so that they never actually talk to each other."
  • (Unnamed) "And then he tells them that his father won't let him date during basketball season so they'll have to keep it a secret."
  • (Brittany Snow) "How'd you learn all this stuff?"
  • (Unnamed) "I don't know, just a guess."
  • (Brittany Snow) "Where is everyone?"
  • (Penn Badgley) "You came early to detention?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "Oh. Well, I'd hate to miss a minute of being -- detained."
  • (Brittany Snow) "John Tucker, there's only one guy out there for me, but you are not him."
  • (Brittany Snow) "You're Heather, right? I'm Kate."
  • (Ashanti) "So?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "It doesn't work like it will stop your hormone production."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Yeah and when you run out you will grow a mustache and a penis."
  • (Brittany Snow) "So I'm not just some '82 Bordeaux you want to uncork and pork."
  • (Brittany Snow) "You can't really hum to Cheap Trick."
  • (Brittany Snow) "He's probably just in town for a layover and he's just looking for someone to lay over."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "Ha very funny sweetheart."
  • (Brittany Snow) "You're Heather right? I'm Kate."
  • (Ashanti) "So?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "Remember to lock the door when you sneak out."

Sophia Bush as Beth

  • (Sophia Bush) "I was so depressed I couldn't even enjoy the break-up sex."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Oh my God I am such a slut."
  • (Sophia Bush) "You mean he was able to be intimate without being -- intimate?"
  • (Sophia Bush) "I was so depressed, I couldn't even enjoy the break-up sex."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Oh my god, I'm such a slut."
  • (Sophia Bush) "It's not even my date and he still gets me out of my skirt."
  • (Sophia Bush) "I can't believe I ate meat for him. I mean, it was fish, but still. I don't eat anything with a face."

Jenny McCarthy as Lori

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Penn Badgley as Scott

  • (Penn Badgley) "You're perfect Kate -- and so far not flammable."
  • (Penn Badgley) "Well, my mom says I'm special on the inside."
  • (Penn Badgley) "I don't think she's your type --"
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "Girl is my type."
  • (Penn Badgley) "I'll let you in on a little secret. My mom says I'm special on the inside."

Ashanti as Heather

  • (Ashanti) "So I talked to John. He was sweet. He felt bad for you. He said that you were jealous because we share something special. Something that we don't have to label because --"
  • (Sophia Bush) "Because it's our unspoken bond and I just love how secure you are?"
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "And it hurts me to question it, because --"
  • (Unnamed) "-- YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL FOR ME?"
  • (Ashanti) "Damn. He said the same thing to all of us."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Figures. He makes up with us and he hooks up with us --"
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "You guys hooked up?"
  • (Sophia Bush) "John and I share something special."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Oh what, that they been both in your pants?"
  • (Sophia Bush) "We share a vegan/nonviolent outlook on life."
  • (Ashanti) "Hippie slut."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Oh nice, Heather. It's not like everyone doesn't know that little Miss Cheerleader brings it on."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "What, you too?"
  • (Ashanti) "John and I belong together. He is the team captain and I am the head cheerleader."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Oh, I'm sorry, what kind of cheerleader?"
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Oh, like he'd take either of you two seriously?"
  • (Sophia Bush) "Do not lump me with her."
  • (Ashanti) "Oh so what, you're now better than me?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "Shut up."
  • (Unnamed) "What?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "Sorry."
  • (Ashanti) "You got something to say?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "No, it's none of my business."
  • (Brittany Snow) "Okay, let me guess. Does he always use pet names like "Baby" and "Sweetheart?" Yeah, it's not out of affection, it's so he won't mix up your names. And he's all about an unspoken bond or something special, but never about a relationship. And the whole arrangement was your idea, so you feel guilty that he cheated."
  • (Ashanti) "Oh my God, you're dating John too?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "No, I knew a guy like him -- Skip."
  • (Ashanti) "I want to bring down you know who."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Normally, I'm opposed to the slaughter of animals, but in John Tucker's case, I'll make an exception."
  • (Brittany Snow) "I don't even know him."
  • (Sophia Bush) "So, you don't even know anyone. You're like the Swiss, you're neutered."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Um, it's neutral. Kate, if the three of us tried this alone, we would kill each other. You brought us here. You showed us that we have something in common."
  • (Ashanti) "Exactly. We all want to kill John Tucker."
  • (Brittany Snow) "Wow. Okay."
  • (Ashanti) "Hasta la vista mutha f --"
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Stop --. with the rhyming."
  • (Ashanti) "John and I belong together. He's the varsity captain, and after all, I AM the head cheerleader."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Excuse me, what kind of cheerleader did you say?"
  • (Ashanti) "John and I belong together. He's the varsity captain, and after all, I AM the head cheerleader."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Sorry what kind of cheerleader?"

Jesse Metcalfe as John Tucker

  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "So did you like the flowers?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "Sure, if you're into that kinda thing."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "Well, cuz, you know, I didn't get a call --"
  • (Brittany Snow) "I didn't have a pen."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "Did you write down my number yesterday? Because I didn't get a call last night.."
  • (Brittany Snow) "Well I didn't have a pen.."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "So you're lab partners with Kate, right? We talk. What's her deal?"
  • (Penn Badgley) "Yeah, I don't know. I don't think she's your type."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "Girl is my type."
  • (Penn Badgley) "Alright, well then maybe you're not her type. She's into stuff like old school Elvis Costello, she listens to obscure podcasts, she reads Dave Eggers. You know, she's deep, man."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "Dude, I'm deep. I'm dating the poetry club."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "It's like lettin' your best friend sleep in a silk hammock. They're breezy. They don't bind. And they give you just enough swing."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "Maybe I come on too strong, but -- I don't know who else to be. I just have to put my whole heart into things."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "It's always all about me. John. John. John."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "You don't drink an '82 Bordeaux just because it's sitting on your shelf."

Arielle Kebbel as Carrie

  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Oh my god. Beth."
  • (Ashanti) "What?"
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Slut in truck. Let's go."
  • (Unnamed) "You weren't at the party last night. Where were you?"
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Well, it's totally on the DL. I mean, not fit to print. I'm dating -- John Tucker."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Unbelievable."
  • (Sophia Bush) "I'd hit him with my car if he wouldn't make body casts a fashion statement."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Beth's still in the truck."
  • (Ashanti) "What?"
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Slut in truck."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "You know what, that was no accident."
  • (Ashanti) "He's mine."
  • (Ashanti) "Stay away from him."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Oh you little brat."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Girls, peace and love. C'mon you guys are fighting over - --"
  • (Ashanti) "We're fighting over John Tucker, he's mine."
  • (Sophia Bush) "OH."
  • (Ashanti) "What the hell is your problem?"
  • (Sophia Bush) "I am dating John Tucker."
  • (Patricia Drake) "ENOUGH. Let's get back in the game."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Darn it Coach."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "Just let me get through. Just let me get them"
  • (Patricia Drake) "PUT THOSE BALLS DOWN."
  • (Brittany Snow) "This guy is cheating on all of you and instead of taking it out on him, you are beating the s*** out of each other?"
  • (Patricia Drake) "LANGUAGE."
  • (Patricia Drake) "DETENTION. You, you, you, and YOU. Honestly --"
  • (Sophia Bush) "Who is that?"
  • (Ashanti) "I don't know. Pam Something."
  • (Arielle Kebbel) "She's right. I mean he always making me feel guilty."
  • (Brittany Snow) "It seems to me that if a guy treats you like that --"
  • (Ashanti) "You'd break up with him, blah, blah, blah --"
  • (Sophia Bush) "Even John would have another girlfriend in a second."
  • (Brittany Snow) "No, I didn't say break up. I'd get even."
  • (Ashanti) "Who are you?"
  • (Sophia Bush) "I know, you're that girl that wigged out last year and got sent to rehab."
  • (Brittany Snow) "No, I --"
  • (Sophia Bush) "Then you got taken away from bulimia."
  • (Brittany Snow) "No."
  • (Sophia Bush) "Fat camp?"
  • (Brittany Snow) "No. My name is --"
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, no talking."
  • (Brittany Snow) "My name is --"
  • (Unnamed) "No talking."

Kevin McNulty as Basketball Coach

  • (Kevin McNulty) "What the hell?"
  • (Patricia Drake) "I think this belongs to you, Coach. I found it in my bed."
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "Coach, make her let go."
  • (Kevin McNulty) "Let go."
  • (Kevin McNulty) ""Live and let live" is what I say, Tucker. Takes all kinds to build a freeway. But I am not equipped for this kind of weirdness THIS CLOSE TO THE PLAYOFFS."
  • (Brittany Snow) "I guess it was four instead of three. Sorry."
  • (Patricia Drake) "Show's over ladies. Back to your rooms."
  • (Patricia Drake) "Show's over. Back to your rooms."

Patricia Drake as Coach Williams

  • (Patricia Drake) "Jennifer, Allison, Molly, Sarah, Denise, and Kimmy? This side?"
  • (Unnamed) "My name is Lucretia."
  • (Patricia Drake) "You --"
  • (Jesse Metcalfe) "I'm sorry."
  • (Patricia Drake) "-- little -- MARCH."
  • (Unnamed) "John, what are you wearing?"
  • (Fatso-Fasano) "Dude, those are for ladies."

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