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Money (Blackadder) Quotes

Money (Blackadder) is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Money ended in 1970.

The cast includes: Tim McInnerny as Lord Percy Percy, Rowan Atkinson as Blackadder, Cassie Stuart as Molly, Lesley Nicol as Mrs. Pants, Tony Robinson as Baldrick, and Tim McInnerny as Lord Percy.

Money (Blackadder) Quotes

Tim McInnerny as Lord Percy

  • (Tim McInnerny) "My Lord. I have waited on your return."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "And thank God you did Percy, for I was just thinking to myself: "My God, I die in 12 hours, what I really need now is a hug from a complete prat.'"
  • (Tim McInnerny) "I've done it, my Lord. I've discovered how to turn things into gold. Pure gold."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "You have? Show me."
  • (Tim McInnerny) "Behold."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Percy -- it's green."
  • (Tim McInnerny) "Yes, my Lord."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Now, look, Percy, I don't mean to be pedantic or anything, but the color of gold -- is gold. That's why it's called gold. What YOU have discovered, if it has a name, is some -- Green."
  • (Tim McInnerny) "Oh, Edmund -- can it be true? That I hold here, in my mortal hand, a nugget of purest Green?"
  • (Tim McInnerny) "Yes indeed, Percy, except that it's not really a nugget but more of a splat."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Yes, my Lord. A splat today, but tomorrow, who knows, or dares to dream --"

Rowan Atkinson as Blackadder

  • (Rowan Atkinson) "The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Baldrick."
  • (Tony Robinson) "My lord?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Pack my bags; I'm going to sell the house."
  • (Unnamed) "What?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "There's nothing else for it. I mean I shall miss the old place, I know. I've had some happy times here, when you and Percy have been out. But needs must when the vomits into your kettle. Baldrick, go forth into the streets and let it be known that Lord Blackadder wishes to sell his house. Percy, just go forth into the street."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "And then Squirry the Squirrel went "Ni, Ni, Ni" and they all went home for tea."
  • (Arthur the Sailor) "Thanks very much, me ol' shivering mateys. Now, how much do you charge for a good hard shag?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "A thousand pounds."
  • (Arthur the Sailor) "A thousand pounds? You've got to be joking."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Well, I'm sure we could negotiate."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Right, so we've got sixpence."
  • (Bishop of Bath and Wells) "Bend over, Blackadder. This is where you get --"
  • (Bishop of Bath and Wells) "Drugged, by God."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "No, by Baldrick actually, but the effect is much the same."
  • (Bishop of Bath and Wells) "Never, in all my years, have I encountered such cruel and foul-minded perversity. Have you ever considered a career in the church?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "No, I could never get used to the underwear."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "This place smells worse than a pair of armored trousers after the Hundred Year War. Baldrick. Have you been eating dung again?"
  • (Tim McInnerny) "My Lord. I have waited on your return."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "And thank God you did, Percy, for I was just thinking to myself, "My God, I die in 12 hours, what I really need now is a hug from a complete prat.""
  • (Tim McInnerny) "After literally an hour's ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Are you sure?"
  • (Tim McInnerny) "Yes, my lord. Behold."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Percy -- it's green."
  • (Tim McInnerny) "That's right, my lord."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Yes, Percy, I don't want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold. That's why it's called gold. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is "green"."
  • (Tim McInnerny) "Oh, Edmund, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Indeed you do, Percy, except, of course, it's not really a nugget, it's more of a splat."
  • (Tim McInnerny) "Well, yes, a splat today -- but tomorrow; who knows, or dares to dream?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "So we three alone in all the world can produce the finest green at will?"
  • (Tim McInnerny) "Just so. Not sure about counting in Baldrick, actually."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Well, you're a one, aren't you? When you should whispering sweet conversational nothings like, 'Goodness, something twice the size of the Royal Barge has just hoved into view between the sheets,' you don't say a word. But enter the Creature from the Black Latrine, and you won't stop jabbering."
  • (Cassie Stuart) "He treats me like a human being."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Look, if I wanted a lecture on the Rights of Man, I would have gone to bed with Martin Luther."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "William Greeves, born 1513 in Chelmsford with the Love of Christ. Died 1563 in Agony-with-a-Spike- up-his-Bottom."

Lesley Nicol as Mrs. Pants

  • (Lesley Nicol) "But what about the privies?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Um, well, what we are talking about in privy terms is the latest in front wall fresh air orifices combined with a wide capacity gutter installation below."
  • (Lesley Nicol) "You mean you crap out the window?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Yes."
  • (Lesley Nicol) "Well in that case we'll definitely take it. I can't stand those dirty indoor things."

Tony Robinson as Baldrick

  • (Tony Robinson) "I have heard there's good money to be made down the docks. Doing favours for sailors."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "What do you mean? Delivering messages, sewing on buttons?"
  • (Tony Robinson) "My Lord? There's someone at the door."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "What time is it?"
  • (Tony Robinson) "It's, uh, four o'clock."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Baldrick, how many times have I told you, you mustn't let me sleep all day. This woman charges by the hour."
  • (Tony Robinson) "Uh, no, my Lord, it's, uh, four o'clock in the morning."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Someone wants to see me at four o'clock in the morning? What is he, a giant lark?"
  • (Tony Robinson) "Uh, no, I think he's a priest."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Well, tell him to take his sacred backside elsewhere. And tell him that furthermore, if he comes nosing around again, I shall report him to the Bishop of Bath and Wells, who drowns children during christenings and eats them in the vestry afterwards."
  • (Tony Robinson) "There's a priest wants t'see you, m'lord."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Well, tell him I'm Jewish."

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