National Lampoon's Senior Trip Quotes

National Lampoon's Senior Trip is a television program that first aired in 1970 . National Lampoon's Senior Trip ended in 1970.

It features Wendy Grean, and Peter Morgan as producer.

National Lampoon's Senior Trip is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of National Lampoon's Senior Trip is 91 minutes long. National Lampoon's Senior Trip is distributed by New Line Cinema.

The cast includes: Danny Smith as Barry 'Virus' Kremmer, Jeremy Renner as Mark 'Dags' D'Agastino, Tara Strong as Carla Morgan, Fiona Loewi as Lisa Perkins, Matt Frewer as Principal Todd Moss, Tommy Chong as Red, Eric "Sparky" Edwards as Miosky, Rob Moore as Reggie Barry, Michael Blake as Herbert Jones, Lawrence Dane as Senator John Lerman, Valerie Mahaffey as Miss Tracy Milford, George R. Robertson as President Davis, Eric "Sparky" Edwards as Mioski, Fiona Loewi as Ish, Sergio Di Zio as Steve Nisser, Kay Tremblay as Mrs. Winston, Kevin McDonald as Travis Lindsey, Kay Tremblay as Mrs. Woo, Nicole de Boer as Meg Smith, and Kathryn Rose as Wanda Baker.

National Lampoon's Senior Trip Quotes

Rob Moore as Reggie Barry

• (Rob Moore) "People, um, say that acid causes, um, brain damage. What did you say?"

• (Rob Moore) "Um, Dags, I just saw that psycho crossing guard guy in a car with Lt. Uhura"
• (Jeremy Renner) "Sure, dude."

• (Rob Moore) "Oh, I have a mission for you."
• (Pablo) "You want me to torch the principal's house, huh?"
• (Rob Moore) "Okay. But, uh, first, we need provisions, man."

• (Rob Moore) "Pop quiz, hotshot: You have 10 underage students craving alcoholic beverages in a store containing your high school principal. What do you do? What-do-you-do?"
• (Jeremy Renner) "Take out the principal."

• (Rob Moore) "Heroin, huh?"
• (Michael Blake) "Insulin."
• (Rob Moore) "Can I, like, buy some from you?"

Tommy Chong as Red

• (Tommy Chong) "Hey, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. Where do you think you're going?"
• (Matt Frewer) "Getting on the bus."
• (Tommy Chong) "You're on the wrong bus, dude. This is the magic bus."
• (Matt Frewer) "I'm counting on you to stick to the schedule. It's percisley 8:06. Let's get going."
• (Tommy Chong) "Principal Dickhead."

• (Tommy Chong) "You kids, Man, you sure don't know how to party. When I was your age, well, we partied, Man."

Matt Frewer as Principal Todd Moss

• (Matt Frewer) "Well, this was an interesting field trip."
• (Valerie Mahaffey) "What are we going to do now?"
• (Rob Moore) "Go home."
• (Fiona Loewi) "No, we can't let this happen."
• (Nicole de Boer) "But if we go and try to stop him, we're only gonna make the President look worse."
• (Rob Moore) "Just like Vietnam -- no way to win."
• (Michael Blake) "What we need is a miracle."
• (Nicole de Boer) "Yeah. Like that time when the school got torched right before finals."
• (Jeremy Renner) "Oh. That was us."
• (Matt Frewer) "That was you?"
• (Jeremy Renner) "Yeah. Now, if we can stop finals, we certainly can stop some Bunghole senator."

• (Matt Frewer) "It's now officially 8:01 people, let's move it."

• (Matt Frewer) "Dags and Reggie invite you to Total Destruction. 12:00, 637 Stratford Road."
• (Kay Tremblay) "Why that's your house."

• (Matt Frewer) "Stop. That man is mentally challenged."

• (Matt Frewer) "I'll bet you're wondering why I asked you here in the middle of the night. I have a favor to ask of you, Steve, something that will be our little secret. You up to it?"
• (Matt Frewer) "What are you doing?"
• (Sergio Di Zio) "I thought you wanted --"
• (Matt Frewer) "I don't want that, you idiot."

• (Matt Frewer) "Must be another senior skip day. D'Agastino thinks he can outsmart me. Not in my domain."

• (Matt Frewer) "What are you kids trying to do to me? We're not even in Washington yet and we already have -- a fatality."

• (Matt Frewer) "Open the door."
• (Tommy Chong) "Sorry, man we got a schedule to keep."
• (Matt Frewer) "Open the door."
• (Tommy Chong) "What's the magic word?"
• (Matt Frewer) "Open the door."
• (Tommy Chong) "What's the magic word?"
• (Matt Frewer) "Please."
• (Tommy Chong) "The magic word is "Rock and Roll," man."

• (Matt Frewer) "This is the only stop we'll be making between here and Washington D.C. So I suggest you take care of whatever necessities come to mind."
• (Danny Smith) "Like takin' a wiz."

Tara Strong as Carla Morgan

• (Tara Strong) "Wouldn't it be cool to screw in the principal's bedroom?"

• (Tara Strong) "Hey Virus, I bet you've never made moves like this in your chess club. Wanna screw?"
• (Danny Smith) "Excuse me."
• (Tara Strong) "Yeah it was great for me, too."

• (Tara Strong) "If I don't get laid tonight, everyone's gonna think I'm a loser. By the way, have you seen those Kennedy boys? I hear they're lots of fun."

Lawrence Dane as Senator John Lerman

• (Lawrence Dane) "We're due at the capitol and you're porking the math teacher?"
• (Valerie Mahaffey) "Keyboarding teacher."
• (Lawrence Dane) "Whatever."

• (Lawrence Dane) "That's an out-and-out lie."
• (Kathryn Rose) "You're the liar."

• (Lawrence Dane) "No, no, I -- I cannot take any credit for this. This is the President's decision. I had nothing to do with this whatsoever. I am only an errand boy."

• (Lawrence Dane) "Have you kids given any thought to what you might say to the committee about education reform?"
• (Jeremy Renner) "Yeah, we're going to tell them the education system sucks."
• (Rob Moore) "Sucks dick."
• (Matt Frewer) "That's not what they mean, sir."
• (Lawrence Dane) "Why not? I think it's great. Now, remember. The president invited you kids down to Washington because he wants you to tell the nation how you really feel about school. If you think the education sucks dick, then by golly you tell them. Can I have your promise on that?"
• (Rob Moore) "I promise."

• (Lawrence Dane) "What? I don't believe it. They blew out Hoover's Flame? My God, these kids are bigger s***heads then I thought."

• (Lawrence Dane) "How did you get a hold of this?"
• (Rob Moore) "That information's on a need-to-know basis."
• (Lawrence Dane) "You're out of your league, boy."
• (Valerie Mahaffey) "Senator Lurman, I can't believe what I'm hearing."
• (Lawrence Dane) "Oh, shut up, you little slut."

Nicole de Boer as Meg Smith

• (Nicole de Boer) "Miss Milford, there you are. We've been looking for you. We wanted to let you know how cool it's been. You showing us around Washington and everything."
• (Valerie Mahaffey) "Really?"
• (Kathryn Rose) "So, we bought you a box of candy."
• (Valerie Mahaffey) "I don't know what to say. How do you know that I like chocolate?"
• (Kathryn Rose) "Because it's all you ever eat."

Kathryn Rose as Wanda Baker

• (Kathryn Rose) "Did you ever wonder if Jason has nightmares and if Freddy can invade his nightmares?"
• (Rob Moore) "Yeah."
• (Kathryn Rose) "I think about that all the time."

• (Kathryn Rose) "Hey, I know you. You're that smart girl. You wanna get high?"

Kay Tremblay as Mrs. Winston

• (Detective) "We're dredging the water right now, but there's no sign of your "Star Trek" man. We're gonna have to submit you to a breathalyzer test, Mr. Woo."
• (Kay Tremblay) "I told you not to pick him up, asshole."

• (Kay Tremblay) "My late husband once wrote a little poem called "Little-" --"

Sergio Di Zio as Steve Nisser

• (Sergio Di Zio) "That does it, you leave me no choice. As student body president, I'm placing you all under citizens arrest. You're all confinded to your rooms until I get Principal Moss."
• (Jeremy Renner) "Miosky, take care of this guy."
• (Sergio Di Zio) "Lay one hand on me and I'll sue. Principal Moss."

• (Sergio Di Zio) "People think that we're nothing but a generation of losers. Sitting on our butts, playing video games and watching MTV. That's not true."

Jeremy Renner as Mark 'Dags' D'Agastino

• (Jeremy Renner) "This guy totally trashed your car."
• (Rob Moore) "Not my new Buick?"
• (Rob Moore) "Yeah."
• (Jeremy Renner) "We tried to chase him and everything, but he got away."
• (Rob Moore) "He, um, was wearing a Billy Joel T-shirt."

• (Jeremy Renner) "Total destruction."
• (Rob Moore) "Any harm?"
• (Jeremy Renner) "I don't think so."
• (Rob Moore) "Wait, there's a scratch."
• (Jeremy Renner) "Where? Here?"
• (Rob Moore) "Uh-oh."

• (Jeremy Renner) "Let's do some Van Damme-age."

• (Jeremy Renner) "It's the government, man."
• (Michael Blake) "The government sucks."

Fiona Loewi as Lisa Perkins

• (Fiona Loewi) "Dags?"
• (Jeremy Renner) "Yeah? W-what?"
• (Fiona Loewi) "I've been thinking about our impending relationship. Which I think is a good idea. As long as you don't talk too much, you let me call the shots, and my parents never, never, NEVER find out about you, I think it could work out between us."
• (Fiona Loewi) "Hey -- are you paying attention to me?"

• (Fiona Loewi) "Hey. I want no trouble from you people. You hear me? Behave."
• (Jeremy Renner) "I hate when I get blamed for something before I do anything wrong."

Valerie Mahaffey as Miss Tracy Milford

• (Valerie Mahaffey) "Well now, students; J. Edgar Hoover was the founder and director of the FBI from 1924 until his death in 1972. He was a great American."
• (Michael Blake) "He was a fascist transvestite and I hope he rots in Hell."
• (Valerie Mahaffey) "Hmm."
• (Nicole de Boer) "Why can't we see Kennedy's eternal flame?"
• (Matt Frewer) "You people don't deserve Kennedy."
• (Kathryn Rose) "Who's Kennedy?"

• (Valerie Mahaffey) "Principal Moss? Principal Moss? Principal Moss."
• (Rob Moore) "Is he dead?"
• (Tommy Chong) "Nah, he ain't dead, man. He's just in a coma."
• (Valerie Mahaffey) "What?"
• (Tommy Chong) "Yeah, I guess that car-sick pill is working on him. It should, man, it's a Red. Horse tranquilizer."
• (Valerie Mahaffey) "But I saw you take a handful of them."
• (Tommy Chong) "Oh, they don't work on me, man. That's why they call me Red. I'm immune."
• (Rob Moore) "Hey. Moss is in a coma. Let's party."

Eric "Sparky" Edwards as Miosky

• (Eric "Sparky" Edwards) "Hi. I'm Miosky. I'm here to save you."
• (Du Mi Wong) "What happened?"
• (Eric "Sparky" Edwards) "Uh -- I don't know. Don't move, I'm coming in."
• (Du Mi Wong) "I'm scared."
• (Eric "Sparky" Edwards) "Don't be scared. I'll protect you. Uh, what's your name?"
• (Du Mi Wong) "Du Mi."
• (Eric "Sparky" Edwards) "Wha --"

Kevin McDonald as Travis Lindsey

• (Kevin McDonald) "Follow that bus, Mr. Sulu."
• (Mr. Woo) "Sulu? I'm Mr. Woo."
• (Kevin McDonald) "I see. Traitors to the Federation."
• (Kevin McDonald) "Nobody moves."
• (Wong Woo) "Hey, is that a Walther PPK semi-automatic?"
• (Kevin McDonald) "Yes."
• (Wong Woo) "Great. You cover Dad --"
• (Wong Woo) "I'll cover Mom."

• (Kevin McDonald) "They never listen to me. Fools. Never listen to me."

Michael Blake as Herbert Jones

• (Michael Blake) "We don't need this A space, J space, Put a Little Love in Your Heart s***. We need a challenge."

Danny Smith as Barry 'Virus' Kremmer

• (Danny Smith) "What about Meg?"
• (Jeremy Renner) "Meg's gay."
• (Danny Smith) "Well if anyone can change her back, it's you."

• (Danny Smith) "Surprise. Happy birthday --"

George R. Robertson as President Davis

• (George R. Robertson) "Son, what do you see as the problems that are effecting our school system."
• (Eric "Sparky" Edwards) "What?"

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