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The Bill Quotes

The Bill is a Police procedural that appeared on TV in 1984 on ITV (TV network). The Bill stopped airing in 2010.

The Bill aired for 2,425 episodes. It features "Overkill" by Andy Pask as theme composer, and Simba Studios as composer. The Bill is executive produced by Lloyd Shirley. The Bill is created by Geoff McQueen.

The Bill is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of The Bill is 22-24 minutes long. The Bill is produced by Thames Television and distributed by Fremantle (company).

The Bill Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "I'd like to do the Lambada with her."
  • (Unnamed) "I've got a husband, I know what it's like when a bloke's got the flu: somewhere between Ebola and Bubonic plague."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, great. The brief in briefs."
  • (Unnamed) "How's the dragon this morning? Is she breathing fire or smoking it?"
  • (Unnamed) "Never Volunteer; it's an old army saying."
  • (Unnamed) "I'll have to remember that next time I'm in an old army."
  • (Unnamed) "Best thing to do is to close your office door."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, and tell the world to Foxtrot Oscar."
  • (Unnamed) "She was on a plate for you. All you needed was a knife and fork."
  • (Unnamed) "D'you think Reg is all right?"
  • (Unnamed) "He's not exactly Rambo is he?"
  • (Unnamed) "Reg may not be a superhero, but I know who I'd like to be with me in a tight corner and it wouldn't be you, Best, all right."
  • (Unnamed) "When The Met employed Reg Hollis, they deprived a village of its idiot."
  • (Unnamed) "He's so far in the closet, he might as well be in Narnia."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh my God, they killed Kenny."
  • (Unnamed) "Either a freezer's defrosting, or we've got a corpse in there."
  • (Unnamed) "I know what they say about me at the station. A bit 40 watts. Dim."
  • (Unnamed) "Rules are rules, and if I thought for one minute you were bending them for anyone; including me; I'd kick you from hell to breakfast."
  • (Unnamed) "I don't get stress -- I give it."
  • (Unnamed) "You think I'm afraid of you Kerry? I'm not. You're like a fly buzzing around me, waiting to be swatted away."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, well we all know what flies are attracted to."
  • (Unnamed) "I feel about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit."
  • (Unnamed) "This is not a Marxist collective, you know. When I say do it; you go do it."
  • (Unnamed) "Ask the real community what they want and they'll tell you loud and clear. Cuff 'em and stuff 'em."
  • (Unnamed) "Did the prisoner hurt himself?"
  • (Unnamed) "Unfortunately not sir."
  • (Unnamed) ""Makes a change from a cuddly toy"."
  • (Unnamed) "You look like Dracula with the flu."
  • (Unnamed) "Can't help feeling sorry for Ted"
  • (Unnamed) "What? C'mon. He's trading in his clapped out old Escort for a brand new GTi. Unfortunately it's got a baby seat built in as well."
  • (Unnamed) "You're a right bleeding heart Rod."
  • (Unnamed) "Let's keep the off air chit-chat off air shall we."
  • (Unnamed) "Anything else?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, a garage full of bricks."
  • (Unnamed) "What kind of bricks?"
  • (Unnamed) "The kind the third little pig used to build his house out of. Brick, bricks."
  • (Unnamed) "Annoyed? First Class passengers on the Titanic were annoyed. What I'm feeling now goes beyond that."
  • (Unnamed) "Say you got a credit card, right?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yep."
  • (Unnamed) "And some slag's got your details --"
  • (Unnamed) "Yep, yep."
  • (Unnamed) "And they're usin' it, buying stuff."
  • (Unnamed) "Yep, yep, what's your point?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well you are still entitled to the points aren't you?"
  • (Unnamed) "Penetrating intelligence like yours Jim, I don't know why you've not been promoted."
  • (Unnamed) "You takin' the mickey?"
  • (Unnamed) "Stick her on."
  • (Unnamed) "What's the charge?"
  • (Unnamed) "Possession of an offensive mouth."
  • (Unnamed) "He's a dangerous man, Pol. So when we're checkin' these cars I want you to stay nice and close to me."
  • (Unnamed) "I thought that's what you meant."
  • (Unnamed) "You may laugh but he's knocked the crap out of CID's finest."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah well that's not very hard."
  • (Unnamed) "From the description he sounds like a dwarf."
  • (Unnamed) "Well he's a vicious dwarf. He kneed DS Boulton in the orchastra stalls."
  • (Unnamed) "Smithy thinks the lotus position is having sex in a flash car."

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