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The Ref Quotes

The Ref is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Ref ended in 1970.

It features Ronald M. Bozman as producer, David A. Stewart in charge of musical score, and Adam Kimmel as head of cinematography.

The Ref is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Ref is 97 minutes long. The Ref is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Kevin Spacey as Lloyd, Denis Leary as Gus, Glynis Johns as Rose, Judy Davis as Caroline, Richard Bright as Murray, B. D. Wong as Dr. Wong, Raymond J. Barry as Lt. Huff, John Scurti as Lt. Steve Milford, Robert Ridgely as Boy, and Bill Raymond as George.

The Ref Quotes

Kevin Spacey as Lloyd

  • (Kevin Spacey) "Excuse me. Excuse me. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "If you don't mind, the "corpse" STILL has the floor."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Mary, gag your grandma."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "So, do you think we should go untie everybody?"
  • (Judy Davis) "No. I think we should unwrap them in the morning. It'll be more festive."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "What's your name?"
  • (Denis Leary) "f*** you, that's my name."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Why don't you just give yourself up?"
  • (Denis Leary) "What'd you say?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Well, you're not going to kill an entire family. It's over. I mean, you're not the type. You're a thief, not a killer. That's obvious."
  • (Denis Leary) "I hate guys like you. You know? With your Jeep Grand Cherokee's and your nicaraguan maids and your ping-zing golf clubs. Every god**** thing in the world handed to you. I mean, what f***in' purpose do you people serve?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "You're a criminal. What possible purpose could you serve?"
  • (Denis Leary) "f*** you, Lloyd. I work for a living, okay? I have a skill. I'm in the game pal. What do you do except take up f***in' space?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "If you're so skilled, what are you doing stuck here?"
  • (Denis Leary) "Let me tell you something. I could break into any house, anywhere, anytime. Take whatever I want. In and out in ten minutes. No prints, no evidence. Nothing. If what's-his-name hadn't installed that f***in' road runner booby trap I'd be in Jamaica by now."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Mmm, I'm impressed."
  • (Denis Leary) "Nah, you people don't get impressed do you? Huh? Life just bores the s*** outta you people. Well, I'm sorry. We don't all have rich mommies and daddies we can live off of or open restaurants when we get bored playing tennis."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "You know, you and my wife have a lot in common. You both think you have some right to life working out the way you want it to, and when it doesn't, you get to act the way you want. The only trouble with that is someone has to be responsible. I'd love to run around and take classes and play with my inner-self. I'd love the freedom to be some pissed-off criminal with no responsibilities, except I don't have the time. But you don't see me with a gun. And you don't see me sleeping with someone else. You think my life turned out the way I wanted because I live in this house? You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say "Gee I'm glad I'm me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rockstar with the body of an athelete and a 24-hour erection." No I don't. So just excuse the s*** out of me."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Mother."
  • (Glynis Johns) "What?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Is it possible for you to shut the f*** up for five minutes?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Caroline? Why don't you eat something?"
  • (Judy Davis) "Loyd? Why don't you eat me?"
  • (Connie Chasseur) "Kids, go to into the den. This not a conversation for children."
  • (Rose Chasseur) "It is not an apprioprate conversation for adults either."
  • (Denis Leary) "Where are you going?"
  • (Rose Chasseur) "To the living room. To leave you to your quilting. I be there to open presents. If my plans change I will contact you."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Why don't we all go into the living room, we'll have our drink and deserts in there."
  • (Judy Davis) "Phoney Bastard."
  • (Denis Leary) "Caroline, shut up."
  • (Connie Chasseur) "Let's all go to the den --"
  • (Denis Leary) "Sit down Connie sit."
  • (Connie Chasseur) "Excuse me, I am not one of you patients."
  • (Denis Leary) "You're going to be somebody's patient if you don't get your ass back down in that chair."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "In the ninth grade we said he could get a part time job. Are you ready for what he did? He started an escort service for the football team, and he gave out my mother's phone number."
  • (Judy Davis) "And I still say getting laid by an 18-year-old linebacker is just what she needs."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Coffee, Mom?"
  • (Rose Chasseur) "Is it real coffee? Or some Scandinavian Christmas potion?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "She's my mother."
  • (Denis Leary) "She's a f***ing Bitch, Lloyd."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "You're not supposed to take sides."
  • (Judy Davis) "No, no, no, thank you so much Gus. Finally somebody else sees."
  • (Denis Leary) "You'd have to be blind not to see."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "I suppose you'll use this drama as a reason to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man that comes to this house."

Denis Leary as Gus

  • (Denis Leary) "Caroline and Loyd, will get the coffee and deserts then we'll be opening presents."
  • (Connie Chasseur) "We can't open presents til midnight."
  • (Denis Leary) "Why not?"
  • (Connie Chasseur) "Because it's not Christmas until midnight."
  • (Denis Leary) "We'll be changing the rules, a little bit. We are opening the presents now. Not later, now. Why? We're adults, and we can open our presents, WHENEVER WE WANT."
  • (Denis Leary) "Connecticut is the fifth ring of hell."
  • (Denis Leary) "Is there a Murray there."
  • (Bartender) "Is there a Murray here?"
  • (Bartender) "I don't think he's here, pal."
  • (Denis Leary) "See if there's a waste of f***ing life named Murray, try that."
  • (Bartender) "Is there a f***ing waste of life named Murray here?"
  • (Richard Bright) "Gussy? Yeah that's me."
  • (Denis Leary) "You know what, lady? I'd like to tie you to the back of a f***ing truck."
  • (Glynis Johns) "You don't have the balls."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Don't do it. It's not worth it."
  • (Denis Leary) "I f***ing hate her, Lloyd."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "I know, I know."
  • (Denis Leary) "What is the matter with you? I thought Mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and Patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding."
  • (Denis Leary) "Jesus. Cat piss."
  • (Denis Leary) "All right. Everybody into the den, or I'll shoot her."
  • (Connie Chasseur) "Go ahead. Shoot her."
  • (Denis Leary) "Shut up. Get in the den."
  • (Denis Leary) "Great, I hijacked my f***ing parents."
  • (Denis Leary) "I have a gun, it's loaded, shut up."
  • (Denis Leary) "SHUT UP. Jesus f***ing Christ."
  • (Denis Leary) "Sit down, Connie."
  • (Connie Chasseur) "Excuse me, but I am not one of your patients."
  • (Denis Leary) "You're gonna be somebody's patient if you don't get your ass back down in that chair."
  • (John Chasseur) "Wow."
  • (Denis Leary) "I swear to God, you hit that kid one more time and I will stik that pig's head right up your ass."
  • (Connie Chasseur) "Gary, are you gonna let him talk to me like that?"
  • (Gary Chasseur) "Well, he is a doctor."
  • (Denis Leary) "Great. I just beat up Santa Claus."
  • (Denis Leary) "He hung up."
  • (Judy Davis) "Well, he sounded upset."
  • (Denis Leary) "He should be. He's going to die a horrible f***ing death."
  • (Connie Chasseur) "Caroline --"
  • (Judy Davis) "Speaking of which."
  • (Denis Leary) "Soooo -- got any cigarettes?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "I don't smoke and Caroline just quit."
  • (Denis Leary) "Really? Just quit, huh?"
  • (Denis Leary) "So -- where are they?"
  • (Judy Davis) "What do you mean?"
  • (Denis Leary) "Where aaare they, Caroliiiiine?"
  • (Judy Davis) "They're behind the chessboard."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "What? You lied to me. You said you were finished."
  • (Judy Davis) "I said I hadn't finished a cigarette. I take a couple drags, I don't inhale."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Oh you are such a liar."
  • (Judy Davis) "I am not, I said --"
  • (Denis Leary) "Did you say that you would quit, Caroline? DID YOU SAY -- that you would quit?"
  • (Denis Leary) "YES. So that means that YOU are a liar, end of story."
  • (Denis Leary) "You saw the stop sign didn't you, Lloyd?"
  • (Denis Leary) "You -- saw the -- stop sign -- DIDN'T YOU?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Y-yes, I did."
  • (Denis Leary) "YES. So that means that you, too, are a liar. Capital "L", small "i", small "a", small "r", period. Now shut -- the f*** -- up."
  • (Denis Leary) "Hey kid, that's enough."
  • (John Chasseur) "Are you sure this will hold?"
  • (Denis Leary) "Look kid -- what I do, running around, stealing stuff, may sound great when you're fourteen years old, but it sucks just a little bit when you're thirty-five. No house. No family. I got a partner who's fifty -- he still can't understand why they took "Happy Days" off the air."
  • (Denis Leary) "Do you know what this family needs? A mute."
  • (Denis Leary) "From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns; for instance; you; DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS. No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation."

B. D. Wong as Dr. Wong

  • (B. D. Wong) "Please let's lower our voices."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "f*** you."

Raymond J. Barry as Lt. Huff

  • (Raymond J. Barry) "It's urine."
  • (John Scurti) "Oh thank God. Phil thought it might be semen."
  • (Raymond J. Barry) "Phil needs to talk to a therapist."

Judy Davis as Caroline

  • (Judy Davis) "We had our own restaurant once. An Italian restaurant. Of course, I would have preferred French, but --"
  • (Denis Leary) "What are we, girlfriends? Do I give a s*** about this? No."
  • (Judy Davis) "He sounded upset."
  • (Denis Leary) "He should be. He's going to die a horrible f***ing death."
  • (Judy Davis) "You're the one who suffocated him with limitations. Our son's a very sensative, creative --"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Juvenile delinquent."
  • (Judy Davis) "-- boy. He has the kind of imagination --"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "That the mafia gives scholarships for."
  • (Judy Davis) "How can we both be in the marriage and I'm miserable and you're content?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Luck?"
  • (Judy Davis) "I had this dream --"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Do we have to do dreams?"
  • (Judy Davis) "I'm in this restaurant, and the waiter brings me my entree. It was a salad. It was Lloyd's head on a plate of spinach with his penis sticking out of his ear. And I said, "I didn't order this." And the waiter said, "Oh you must try it, it's a delicacy. But don't eat the penis, it's just garnish.""
  • (B. D. Wong) "Lloyd, what do you think about the dream?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "I think she should stop telling it at dinner parties to all our friends."

Robert Ridgely as Boy

  • (Robert Ridgely) "Santa doesn't drink champagne. Santa only drinks milk."
  • (Bill Raymond) "Listen. Santa can't drink no more milk. Santa has a lactose intolerance, and it gives him horrible gas pains. Do you want to see Santa farting down everybody's chimney?"

Glynis Johns as Rose

  • (Glynis Johns) "What difference does any of this make now? You're getting a divorce."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Mother."
  • (Glynis Johns) "What?"
  • (Kevin Spacey) "Is it possible for you to shut the f*** up for ten seconds?"
  • (Glynis Johns) "Lloyd, don't talk to me like that in my own house."
  • (Kevin Spacey) "You know what, Mom? You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas? A big, wooden cross. So anytime you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it."
  • (Glynis Johns) "Sounds too sweet."
  • (Judy Davis) "Then don't eat it."
  • (Glynis Johns) "You're a "Wong"?"
  • (Denis Leary) "Well, my mother was Irish."
  • (Glynis Johns) "And your father?"
  • (Denis Leary) "Wasn't."

Bill Raymond as George

  • (Bill Raymond) "Yeah? Well, maybe Santa won't come back next year. Maybe he and the Easter Bunny will take a f***in' cruise to Jamaica and you can eat your own lousy cookies."

Richard Bright as Murray

  • (Richard Bright) "How do I know this is Gussy?"
  • (Denis Leary) "Because the next time I see you I'm gonna tear all the hair outta your balls ONE BY ONE, you f***in' mule. How about that?"
  • (Richard Bright) "Gus?"
  • (Denis Leary) "What?"
  • (Richard Bright) "When are we gonna open presents?"
  • (Denis Leary) "Presents? Is that what you said? Presents? We'll open them when we get there. No, in fact, I'll save you the trouble. Your present is a giant f***ing canon. And you're gonna crawl in it. Then I'm gonna get 2 pounds of gunpowder and I'm gonna shoot you right out of Jersey. And then I'm gonna drive to Jersey, and pick up all the parts of your body and put them in a plastic bag. Then I'm gonna drive to my house with you in the bag and toss you into the fireplace. I'm gonna get my glass of whiskey and watch the Charlie Brown special with your ashes burning IN MY f***ING HOUSE. AGH."
  • (Richard Bright) "Gus?"
  • (Denis Leary) "What?"
  • (Richard Bright) "What's that smell?"
  • (Denis Leary) "Shut up."

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