Knock on Wood (film) Quotes

Knock on Wood (film) is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Knock on Wood completed its run in 1970.

It features Melvin Frank as producer, Sylvia Fine in charge of musical score, and Daniel L. Fapp as head of cinematography.

Knock on Wood (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Knock on Wood (film) is 103 minutes long. Knock on Wood (film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Steven Geray as Doctor Kreuger, Danny Kaye as Jerry Morgan, Abner Biberman as Maurice Papinek, David Burns as Marty Brown, Torin Thatcher as Godfrey Langston, Leon Askin as Laslo Gromeck, Mai Zetterling as Dr. Ilse Nordstrom, and Gavin Gordon as Car Salesman.

Knock on Wood (film) Quotes

Steven Geray as Doctor Kreuger

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Danny Kaye as Jerry Morgan

• (Danny Kaye) "Really, folks, she's a beautiful, wonderful girl. I wish you could see her."
• (Clarence) "Yeah, you should see her. A blonde, blue-eyed, baby-faced purse-snatcher."
• (Danny Kaye) "Clarence."
• (Clarence) "A peroxide octopus."
• (Danny Kaye) "Quiet."
• (Clarence) "Fifteen hands and they're all in his pockets."
• (Danny Kaye) "Clarence. Please."
• (Clarence) "A hundred and ten pounds of well-stacked rattlesnakes."
• (Danny Kaye) "Clarence."

• (Danny Kaye) "Listen, if this keeps up you'll get us kicked out of Switzerland."

• (Danny Kaye) "Mr. Papinek, you're a Frenchman, and the French are supposed to know about these things. I'd like to ask you something. Now, how can you tell when you're really in love?"
• (Abner Biberman) "Remember, you must not touch."
• (Danny Kaye) "Not even if you're in love?"
• (Abner Biberman) "Not until the glue hardens."

• (Danny Kaye) "You know, I don't think I'm crazy. I think I'm a little bit peculiar, but that's not crazy."

Gavin Gordon as Car Salesman

• (Gavin Gordon) "I say, what did you think of the Himalayas?"
• (Danny Kaye) "Loved him, hated her."

David Burns as Marty Brown

• (David Burns) "Please, don't say "stomach.""

Mai Zetterling as Dr. Ilse Nordstrom

• (Mai Zetterling) "Tell me, Jerry, why are you so unhappy?"
• (Danny Kaye) "Because my mummy and daddy are always fighting and yelling and screaming at each other and throwing things and everything."
• (Mai Zetterling) "And why do they do that?"
• (Danny Kaye) "They have to; they're married."

Leon Askin as Laslo Gromeck

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Torin Thatcher as Godfrey Langston

• (Torin Thatcher) "Tell me, Mr. Morgan, how many stars would you say there were out there?"
• (Danny Kaye) "Well -- Stars? There in the sky stars?"
• (Torin Thatcher) "Yes."
• (Danny Kaye) "Hm. Well, uh, I-I don't know offhand. I-I, uh, I would say way up in the thousands."
• (Torin Thatcher) "A hundred thousand?"
• (Danny Kaye) "Well, uh, I think more than that."
• (Torin Thatcher) "Two hundred thousand?"
• (Danny Kaye) "Uh, nooooo. Possibly a little bit more."
• (Torin Thatcher) "Three hundred thousand."
• (Danny Kaye) "I-I don't like to seem impertinent, Mr. Langston, but that's the Milky Way."
• (Torin Thatcher) "Very well, Mr. Morgan. How many would you say there were?"
• (Danny Kaye) "Stars? Well, uh, I'd say about a million."
• (Torin Thatcher) "A million?"
• (Danny Kaye) "Yeah -- about."
• (Torin Thatcher) "Very well, Mr. Morgan. Let us say a million."
• (Danny Kaye) "Very well, Mr. Langston, let's."
• (Torin Thatcher) "Good."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.