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Swiss Army Man Quotes

Swiss Army Man is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Swiss Army Man completed its run in 1970.

It features Andy Hull; Gobotron in charge of musical score, and Larkin Seiple as head of cinematography.

Swiss Army Man is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Swiss Army Man is 97 minutes long. Swiss Army Man is distributed by A24 (company).

The cast includes: Paul Dano as Hank, Daniel Radcliffe as Manny, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Sarah.

Swiss Army Man Quotes

Daniel Radcliffe as Manny

  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "If my best friend hides his farts from me then what else is he hiding from me, and why does that make me feel so alone?"
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Is this crying? I don't like it. It's wet and uncomfortable."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "What is Netflix?"
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "But maybe everyone's a little bit ugly. Yeah, maybe we're all just ugly, dying sacks of s*** and maybe all it'll take is one person to just be okay with that."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "So now when you masturbate you think about your mom?"
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "We're gonna die. That's a thought. Everybody dies. I'm sorry if this makes me weird or you don't understand, but I wish I was dead again."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Boobs, vaginas and butts."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "I have a lot of questions about all the things you just said."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "I'm scared because I fear if I die I might really miss you."
  • (Paul Dano) "Oh you're the worst."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "You wanna go home, so you can have love?"
  • (Paul Dano) "Yeah."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "But you ran away 'coz nobody loves you?"
  • (Paul Dano) "That's not true."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "You're broken and empty and dirty and smelly and useless and old. You're like trash, right?"
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Girls must be so nice to let guys do all these things to them."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Hurry before you starve and die."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Hey buddy."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Oh God I'm disgusting. My body is disgusting."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "When I masturbate, I'm gonna think about your mom."

Paul Dano as Hank

  • (Paul Dano) "If you don't know Jurassic Park, you don't know s***."
  • (Paul Dano) "Maybe that's just something the brain invents to survive."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Yeah. Like maybe your brain invented me to distract you from the fact that eventually your eyes are gonna stop blinking and your mouth will stop chewing and your blood will stop pumping and then you're gonna s*** yourself. And that's it."
  • (Paul Dano) "No. No, that's not it. Because then my organs are going to s*** themselves."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "And then your cells will s*** themselves, and then all your s***'s gonna get mixed in with everyone else's s*** till there's nothing left of you, and then that's it."
  • (Paul Dano) "I don't know, man. That sounds kind of nice, everyone's s*** mixing, because then someday some of your s*** is gonna meet up with some of my s***, and we'll have something to look forward to, you know?"
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "You're disgusting."
  • (Paul Dano) "Buses are for people that doen't know each other."
  • (Paul Dano) "Manny I think your penis is guiding us home."
  • (Paul Dano) "Every day, you ride the bus and count the minutes, hoping you'll see her again. She smiles, and you feel a strange tingle up the back of your neck. Something carnal inside of you causes your body to break out in sweats. You feel like the luckiest man in the world. She sits alone, just like every other day, and looks out the window lost in her thoughts. You know that look. She's just as alone as you are. But she doesn't have to be. You could talk to her. Tell her you'd love to sit next to her today and every other day, because life is short, and no one deserves to ride the bus alone."
  • (Paul Dano) "You can't just say anything that comes into your head, that's bad talking."
  • (Paul Dano) "OK Manny talk to her."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "What I talk about?"
  • (Paul Dano) "Just whatever comes naturally."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "hello., I don't know why but I have the sudden urge to put my mouth on your mouth."
  • (Paul Dano) "OK that's called kissing you can't do that yet is too fast."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Oh. how about if I put my penis on you."
  • (Paul Dano) "That's even worse."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "Oh. so sorry, what about if just the tip, like just the very beginning."
  • (Paul Dano) "OK Manny is not about sex."
  • (Paul Dano) "Because I'm just a scared, ugly, useless person."
  • (Daniel Radcliffe) "But maybe everyone's a little bit ugly. Maybe we're all just dying sacks of s***, and maybe all it'll take is one person to just be okay with that, and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting, and everyone will feel a little bit less alone."
  • (Paul Dano) "Manny, you have no idea how nice that sounds."
  • (Paul Dano) "Hello, world. My name is Hank Thompson, and I've been stranded out on an island in the Pacific all alone. And this man, this man saved me from the brink of death when he allowed me to ride him like a jet ski, propelled by his f --"

Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Sarah

  • (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) "What the f***?"

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