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The Convict Quotes

The Convict is a TV show that first aired in 1970 . The Convict completed its run in 1970.

The Convict Quotes

  • (Jim Halpert) "What did you do, Prison Mike?"
  • (Michael Scott) "I stole and I robbed and I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom."
  • (Jim Halpert) "That is quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike."
  • (Michael Scott) "And I never got caught, neither."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Well, you were in prison, but -- Mm-hmm."
  • (Pam Beesley) "Prison Mike, what was the food like in prison?"
  • (Michael Scott) "Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair."
  • (Michael Scott) "Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special; baseball cap on backward, baggy pants. He says something ordinary like, "Yo, that's shizzle". Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you."
  • (Kevin) "I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day."
  • (Angela Martin) "Do you really expect us to believe you're somebody else?"
  • (Michael Scott) "Do you really expect me not to push you up against the wall, biatch?"
  • (Kevin) "Martin?"
  • (Michael Scott) "Oh, you are such a racist."
  • (Kevin) "Wait, why am I a racist?"
  • (Michael Scott) "Because you think he's black."
  • (Michael Scott) "In prison you are somebody's bitch. Oh, and you."
  • (Michael Scott) "You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop the soap. Don't drop the soap."
  • (Andy Bernard) "I am so horny."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Okay, I can't help you with that."
  • (Andy Bernard) "Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty, good for a romp in the sack."
  • (Jim Halpert) "She is dating Ryan, I think."
  • (Andy Bernard) "Oh, and I care why?"
  • (Jim Halpert) "She's high-maintenance."
  • (Andy Bernard) "Next. How about -- Angela? Blondes have more fun. Come on, trust me on that."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Yeah, trust me. That would be fun for no one."
  • (Andy Bernard) "Okay, fine."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Okay."
  • (Andy Bernard) "Pam, the receptionist. Pam -- should I go for it?"
  • (Jim Halpert) "Absolutely, you should."
  • (Andy Bernard) "Jackpot."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals."

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