The War at Home (TV series) Quotes

The War At Home is a Sitcom that first aired in 2005 on Fox Broadcasting Company. The War at Home ended in 2007.

The War At Home aired for 2 seasons and 44 episodes. It features Suzan Bymel as producer, W. G. Snuffy Walden as composer, and Mike Berlin as head of cinematography. The War At Home is executive produced by Andy Cadiff. The War At Home is created by Rob Lotterstein.

The War At Home is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The War At Home is 22-24 minutes long. The War At Home is produced by Acme Productions and distributed by Warner Bros. Television Distribution.

The cast includes: Michael Rapaport as Dave, Dean Collins as Mike, Rami Malek as Kenny, Anita Barone as Vicky, Kyle Sullivan as Larry, and Kaylee DeFer as Hillary.

The War At Home Quotes

Michael Rapaport as Dave

• (Michael Rapaport) "No, you don't prune the hedges unless you're expecting company in the front yard."

• (Michael Rapaport) "I can just imagine the line of crap that Kyle kid is feeding her. "I love you so much, baby. Why should we wait if it's the right time, baby? Come on, baby, let's do it right now, baby.""
• (Anita Barone) "Come on, she's not an idiot."
• (Michael Rapaport) "You fell for it."

• (Michael Rapaport) "They say necessity is the mother of invention. When I first got a computer, it seemed so complicated. I thought; "I'll never figure this thing out.". Then I found out there was free pornography out there. I figured it out."

• (Michael Rapaport) "Look, I think we might need to take him to a professional."
• (Anita Barone) "What? I thought you didn't believe in therapy."
• (Michael Rapaport) "What therapy? I meant a hooker."

• (Michael Rapaport) "Oh come on, Larry, you wouldn't even know how I met your mother."
• (Anita Barone) "Two bottles of beer and some questionable, "Ass-Pur-Inn"."

• (Unnamed) "Don't worry, I'll give Hillary the respect she deserves."
• (Michael Rapaport) "Oh, you better give her more than that."

• (Michael Rapaport) "It's true. Parents that use drugs have kids that use drugs. So there's an important lesson here; don't have kids."

• (Michael Rapaport) "There's only one simple rule for dating my teenage daughter; she sees your penis, I'll cut it off."

• (Michael Rapaport) "Where you been?"
• (Anita Barone) "Oh, I was just talking to Hillary."
• (Michael Rapaport) "All this time?"
• (Anita Barone) "Yeah."
• (Michael Rapaport) "How long does it take her to roll her eyes and tell you to get the hell out of her room?"

• (Michael Rapaport) "When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was sneak into "R" rated movies. In my mind, "R" stood for "really good." Nowadays, there's warnings and ratings on everything; video games, music, booze, cigarettes. You think these warnings would keep kids away from all these things. When, actually, it's sending up a flare saying, "Hey, look. Good stuff over here.""
• (Michael Rapaport) "See? Makes you wanna watch even more, doesn't it?"

• (Michael Rapaport) "I'm gonna miss that Jew-hating country club."

• (Michael Rapaport) "What happened to our stash?"
• (Anita Barone) "Our stash ? Since when do we have a stash?"
• (Michael Rapaport) "You know --"
• (Anita Barone) "No. I thought we decided to be more responsible, and you were gonna get rid of the pot."
• (Michael Rapaport) "I am getting rid of it. Little by little."

Rami Malek as Kenny

• (Rami Malek) ", I love figure skating."
• (Michael Rapaport) "It's hockey --"

Anita Barone as Vicky

• (Anita Barone) "Hillary came to me and wanted to know how you know when the time is right."
• (Michael Rapaport) "Please tell me she's still confused about daylight savings."

• (Anita Barone) "What was that?"
• (Michael Rapaport) "Oh, that must be Mike playing with his BB gun."
• (Anita Barone) "His what?"
• (Michael Rapaport) "Ah, you know, he's been begging me for one, so I finally got it for him."
• (Anita Barone) "Dave. Why didn't you ask me first?"
• (Michael Rapaport) "Same reason I never asked her for a three-way. She would've just said no."

• (Anita Barone) "You know, maybe we shouldn't drink while the kids live here."
• (Michael Rapaport) "Come on, Vicky, we drink because the kids live here."

• (Anita Barone) "I never had sex with a guy who pressured me. At least not until I got married."

Dean Collins as Mike

• (Dean Collins) "My penis is on fire."

• (Dean Collins) "Hey, Dad, I need you to sign this math test."
• (Michael Rapaport) "You failed?"
• (Dean Collins) "No, my teacher just wants your autograph. He's a big fan of mid-level insurance salesmen."

Kyle Sullivan as Larry

• (Kyle Sullivan) "I don't like you when you're drunk."
• (Kaylee DeFer) "I don't like you when I'm sober."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.