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Johnny English Quotes

Johnny English is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Johnny English stopped airing in 1970.

It features Tim Bevan as producer, Edward Shearmur in charge of musical score, and Remi Adefarasin as head of cinematography.

Johnny English is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Johnny English is 88 minutes long. Johnny English is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Tim Pigott-Smith as Pegasus, Rowan Atkinson as Johnny English, Tim Berrington as Roger, Ben Miller as Bough, Natalie Imbruglia as Lorna Campbell, Sam Beazley as Elderly Man, John Malkovich as Pascal Sauvage, Douglas McFerran as Carlos Vendetta, and Trevor McDonald as Radio Newsreader.

Johnny English Quotes

Douglas McFerran as Carlos Vendetta

  • (Douglas McFerran) "That's a letter of abdication renouncing your claims to the throne and the claims of your entire family. Sign it."
  • (Queen) "Never."

Rowan Atkinson as Johnny English

  • (Pegasus' Secretary) "There are some items you need to sign before your briefing. Here is your new retinal ID card. And this is your Level 9 security clearance. Sign and date, please."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Ah, reminds me of the old service-issue ballpoint. I remember every agent would carry a pen that looked just like this. Completely innocent to the untrained eye, but click it twice --"
  • (Archbishop of Canterbury) "And do you, the chosen Bishops of England, Wales and Scotland, assent to this anointment?"
  • (Scottish Bishop) "For Scotland I do."
  • (Welsh Bishop) "For Wales I do."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "For England"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "I do not."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "My God, what have they done to you?"
  • (Sam Beazley) "They've taken some of my blood."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "The bastards."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Do you or do you not have tattooed on your bottom the words "Jesus is coming, look busy"?"
  • (Archbishop of Canterbury) "Are you insane?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Well, let's find out, shall we?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Look pull yourself together, it's only a bit of poo."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Arrest that man. And lock him away."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Ah, the Heckler and Koch G-36. Quite deadly in the right hands."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "I'm a spent force."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Wibble."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "My bottom will be king of England before you are."
  • (Official at Funeral) "Everything in order, English?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "I think you'll find it's rather more than just in order, Sir. You are now entering the most secure location in the whole of England."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "I've managed to subdue the assailant. The panic's over. Everything's under control."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "It may be pitch black, but we can still see."
  • (Ben Miller) "Can we, sir? How?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "The Bedouin monks of the Al Maghreb mountains developed a system of sonic chanting."
  • (Ben Miller) "I see, sir."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "The sound of their chanting would bounce back off any obstacles, and using their highly tuned ears they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead."
  • (Ben Miller) "Brilliant, sir."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "However, you must always sing in E-flat."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Thank you for the music / The songs I'm singing"
  • (Ben Miller) "Is it working, sir?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Extremely well, thank you, Bough."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Thanks for all the joy that --"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Ow."

Ben Miller as Bough

  • (Ben Miller) "So what your saying is, there were two of them?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Yes. Possibly four."
  • (Ben Miller) "-- Where were you sir?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Just drop it Bough."
  • (Ben Miller) "Are you all right, sir?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Yes, I landed on something quite soft."
  • (Ben Miller) "That was me, sir."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Ah. Good."
  • (Ben Miller) "Shall we call for back-up sir?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so."

Tim Pigott-Smith as Pegasus

  • (Tim Pigott-Smith) "English, we can't afford any mistakes. Not tonight."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "The word "mistake", Sir, is not one that appears in my dictionary."
  • (Tim Pigott-Smith) "It's an unmitigated disaster, English."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "I couldn't agree more, sir."
  • (Tim Pigott-Smith) "Well, we need to get these jewels back, English, and fast. Now tell me about this assailant. Because when they searched the room later, there was no sign of him."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Well, the man was clearly a professional. He must have escaped while the Queen was being sedated."
  • (Tim Pigott-Smith) "But he's the only lead we've got, English. We have to find him. Now, come in. This is; This is Roger from Data Support. Please sit down. He'll produce a likeness based on your description. So tell us, what did this man look like?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Um -- Well -- He was -- big."
  • (Tim Berrington) "Hair colour?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Um -- orange."
  • (Tim Pigott-Smith) "Orange?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Mmm. And curly. Well, frizzy, actually. Frizzy sort of thing."
  • (Tim Berrington) "Frizzy."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "An eye patch. Broken nose. Very few teeth. Two, I would say at the most. And a scar on his cheek in the shape -- of a banana."
  • (Tim Berrington) "Which cheek?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Both cheeks. They sort of met in the middle."
  • (Tim Pigott-Smith) "Are you sure about this, English?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Oh, yes, that's him. An uncanny resemblance. Why, it's just as if he's in the room with us."

Natalie Imbruglia as Lorna Campbell

  • (Natalie Imbruglia) "I can't hear anything."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "I'm into ultrasonic."
  • (Natalie Imbruglia) "Get your car keys. We've got work to do."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Miss Campbell."
  • (Natalie Imbruglia) "Sauvage is heading back to his chateau in France and he's invited 13 of the richest criminal masterminds in the world to meet him there."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "I'm sorry, Miss Campbell. I'm off the case. It's been reassigned."
  • (Natalie Imbruglia) "I know. Reassigned to me."
  • (Natalie Imbruglia) "Aaaaaah. Johnny."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Oh, F --"
  • (Natalie Imbruglia) "You obviously haven't met our host, Monsieur Savage."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "No, thank God. You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing the French should be allowed to host is an invasion."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Sorry, can I help?"
  • (John Malkovich) "Pascal Sauvage."
  • (John Malkovich) "The jumped-up Frenchman."
  • (Natalie Imbruglia) "Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking forward to meeting you."
  • (John Malkovich) "Enchanté."
  • (John Malkovich) "Of course, you are Johnny English. I've heard all about you. And between you and me, I'm not so keen on the French myself."
  • (Natalie Imbruglia) "Cheers."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "May all your daughters be born with three bottoms."

Trevor McDonald as Radio Newsreader

  • (Trevor McDonald) "Pascal is accused of treason, and if convicted faces the death penalty. He says in that eventuality he would like to donate his brain to the study of the causes of hypomanic schizophrenia."

John Malkovich as Pascal Sauvage

  • (John Malkovich) "English has seen too much. We go to plan B. Get rid of the fake archbishop and greenlight the visit to Her Majesty and then this pathetic country can humiliate itself by crowning me officially."
  • (John Malkovich) "All this stupid little country has to do is stand in line and do what it is told for one miserable day, but can it do that?"
  • (John Malkovich) "My fragrant French arse it can't."

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