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Kath and Kim Quotes

Kath & Kim is a Comedy that was first aired in 2002 on ABC Television (2002-05). Kath &amp completed its run in 2007.

Kath & Kim lasted 4 seasons and 32 + 1 telemovie + 1 theatrical film episodes. Kath & Kim is created by Gina Riley.

Kath & Kim is recorded in English and originally aired in Australia. Each episode of Kath & Kim is Approx. 22 minutes per episode long.

The cast includes: Gina Riley as Kim, Jane Turner as Kath, Glenn Robbins as Kel, and Peter Rowsthorn as Brett.

Kath & Kim Quotes

Peter Rowsthorn as Brett

  • (Peter Rowsthorn) "Kim, pick up the phone, it's Brett -- Look, can you call me back? I'm at work. I really need to talk to you -- What day's rubbish day?"
  • (Peter Rowsthorn) "Kim, please come home -- I don't know how to use the washing machine."
  • (Gina Riley) "Oh. That's all I am to you? Just a slave? Well I don't know how to use the washing machine either, Brett."

Gina Riley as Kim

  • (Gina Riley) "Oh, listen to this, Mum."
  • (Gina Riley) ""He stood to attention, his sword erect, ready to take his punishment. He was a throbbing member of an exclusive club. The lord laughed as he thought of the noble knight's rogering.""
  • (Jane Turner) "Oh, that sounds great, Kim."
  • (Gina Riley) "Yeah, it's the new Jeffrey Archer."
  • (Jane Turner) "Oh right. What happens in the end?"
  • (Gina Riley) "I don't know. I haven't started it yet; that was just Jeffrey's bio in the front."
  • (Jane Turner) "Oh, he sounds nice."
  • (Gina Riley) "He does, doesn't he."
  • (Jane Turner) "Yeah, I like the sound of him."
  • (Gina Riley) "Oh, I always have."
  • (Jane Turner) "Hmm, decent."
  • (Gina Riley) "I'm not criticizing you, I'm just saying you look bad."
  • (Gina Riley) "My favourite movie's Shallow Hal. I can relate."
  • (Jane Turner) "Why? Because you're big kim?"
  • (Gina Riley) "No, because I'm shallow. God, you're rude to me."
  • (Gina Riley) "If Brett calls, I'm incommunicado."
  • (Jane Turner) "Where?"
  • (Unnamed) "Give me an S, give me an A, give me a P-P-H, give me an I, give me and R, give me an E-S. What does it spell?"
  • (Gina Riley) "Piss off, Sharon."
  • (Gina Riley) "Oh, Sharon. You're my second best friend. Help me."
  • (Gina Riley) "She's one of those people who makes you feel better when they're around -- You know, in comparison."
  • (Gina Riley) "Epponnee stop whinging, it's mummie's turn now."
  • (Unnamed) "Aw, Kimmy, I think it's nice your mum's got a boyfriend. Or are they de factos?"
  • (Gina Riley) "De facto, night facto, the fact that they're facto-ing at all I find repulsive in the extreme."
  • (Gina Riley) "Here's your statue, Mum."
  • (Jane Turner) "Oh, what for the love of God is that?"
  • (Gina Riley) "It's the statue you wanted."
  • (Jane Turner) "What? No it's not, Kim."
  • (Gina Riley) "Yes it is, it's a statue of little baby cheeses."
  • (Jane Turner) "Little baby cheeses? Oh little baby Jesus, Kim, Jesus."
  • (Jane Turner) "Oh, Jesus."
  • (Gina Riley) "My marriage is over. O-V-A-H. Over."
  • (Gina Riley) "All right. I'm guilty. You've found out my surprise."
  • (Jane Turner) "What, Kim?"
  • (Gina Riley) "I've been trying to run up your credit card bill to earn you enough Fly-Buys to get you a free mystery flight for your honeymoon."
  • (Jane Turner) "Oh, well why didn't you say so, love? Oh, I'm thrilled. So do we get a free trip?"
  • (Gina Riley) "Yes, I have managed to get you and Kel a trip. It's on Sunday the 23rd of October -- 4:30 -- AM -- You won't be sitting together and they can't tell me where you're going, but they can tell me that it's not out of the state."
  • (Gina Riley) "Yeah, I've had all those classic cocktails -- "69er", "Slow screw against a wall", "Sex on the Beach" --"
  • (Jane Turner) "Have you tried an "orgasm"?"
  • (Gina Riley) "No, never had one of them --"
  • (Gina Riley) "Brett Graig, please."
  • (Shopgirl) "And who may I say is asking?"
  • (Gina Riley) "Mrs Craig."
  • (Shopgirl) "Brett, your mother's here."

Jane Turner as Kath

  • (Jane Turner) "I don't think you can handle the fact that while your marriage is on the rocks, Kel and I are getting ours off."
  • (Unnamed) "I've taken up golf, Mrs D."
  • (Jane Turner) "Oh really?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah. Me and the girls are going down to the Peninsula to play in a tournament."
  • (Gina Riley) "Which girls?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, you know, K.D., Ellen, Martina. Just the usual gang."
  • (Jane Turner) "Kim I want you to know, I know that you've thrown your handbag in the river and I'm okay with that --"
  • (Jane Turner) "I'm sure you've heard of those Nancy Kantz pants? Well these are the Kath Day enhance your fancy dance pants."
  • (Jane Turner) "You're a Dutch sea wall Kim."
  • (Gina Riley) "What?"
  • (Jane Turner) "A dyke. on a bike -- if you like --"
  • (Gina Riley) "Mum, I'm not gay."
  • (Jane Turner) "Is that top from Ooh La La?"
  • (Gina Riley) "No, it's from Uluru. I got it on my trip to Alice Springs."

Glenn Robbins as Kel

  • (Glenn Robbins) "Right. Keep Saturday night free, because I'm going to prove to you I'm all the man you need. Now where did I put my man-bag?"
  • (Glenn Robbins) "So -- when's the baby due?"
  • (Gina Riley) "I'm not PREGNANT."

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