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Slapsgiving Quotes

Slapsgiving is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Slapsgiving ended in 1970.

Slapsgiving Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "Everyone knows March has 31 days. It's general knowledge."
  • (Unnamed) "General Knowledge."
  • (Unnamed) "How come we're all allowed to bust on Barney when he dates some skank-tron but when you sleep with the crypt-keeper's dad; I'm not allowed to say a word?"
  • (Unnamed) "By announcing the time, you ruin the suspense. You have shown your hand."
  • (Unnamed) "And as of 3:00 PM tomorrow, your face will show my hand."
  • (Unnamed) "This looks like it's going to be a major clean-up."
  • (Unnamed) "Major Cleanup."
  • (Unnamed) "Are we going to be doing this all the time?"
  • (Unnamed) "That's the general idea."
  • (Unnamed) "General Idea."
  • (Unnamed) "Did you just say Canadian Thanksgiving was, and I'm quoting, the "real Thanksgiving"? What do Canadians even have to celebrate "aboot"?"
  • (Unnamed) "Canadian Thanksgiving celebrates explorer Martin Frobisher's valiant yet ultimately unsuccessful attempt to find the northwest passage."
  • (Unnamed) "Why are you guys even a country?"
  • (Unnamed) "I have this kernel stuck in my teeth."
  • (Unnamed) "Colonel Stuckinmyteeth."
  • (Unnamed) "Will you cut it out already?"
  • (Unnamed) "Pecan pie? Why are we making that?"
  • (Unnamed) "Um, it's my favorite."
  • (Unnamed) "You're allergic."
  • (Unnamed) "I know. I just like smelling it. It's like eating with your nose."
  • (Unnamed) "Thanksgiving is a time to get together, and none of you are taking it seriously. None of you. So, as slap bet commisioner, I institute a new law: at Thanksgiving there will be no slapping."
  • (Unnamed) "Check it out, we're in the last 20 seconds of Marshall's countdown to NOTHING."
  • (Unnamed) "Barney, put it away."
  • (Unnamed) "How does it feel, Marshall, to sit there impotently. Your large flaccid hand just dangling in the wind?"
  • (Computer voice) "The slap will occur in ten, nine, eight --"
  • (Unnamed) "Ohh, classy touch, dude. Too BAD."
  • (Unnamed) "Barney put it away."
  • (Unnamed) "I will in. Five, four --"
  • (Unnamed) "You can slap him."
  • (Unnamed) "What? Wait."
  • (Unnamed) "Yes."
  • (Unnamed) "THAT'S THREE."
  • (Unnamed) "There is nothing in the rules that says I have to be subjected to this kind of psychological torture. You can slap my face, but you cannot slap my mind."
  • (Unnamed) "The killer in a horror movie does not stand in front of the camp cabins with a bullhorn and shout, "Attention, unguarded teens. At 3:00 I will jump out of that closet and hack you to death with a machete. By the way, my only weakness is fire.""

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