The Last Day (Red Dwarf) Quotes

The Last Day (Red Dwarf) is a TV show that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Last Day stopped airing in 1970.

The Last Day (Red Dwarf) Quotes

• (Lister) "He's not leaving. You are."
• (Lister) "Did I just say that?"

• (Kryten) "Oh, my goodness -- Oh -- my head. Oh, what happened to me? Damage control report. Oh. Dehydration level, 45%. Recall of previous evening, 2%. Embarrassment factor, 91%. Advised repair schedule; reboot startup disc, offline for 36 hours and replace head. Boy. What a night."
• (Kryten) "Is it just me, or is that cockroach shuffling too loudly?"
• (Rimmer) "Kryten, it's called a hangover, don't panic."
• (Lister) "We're on a mining ship, three million years into deep space -- can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?"
• (The Cat) "Hey. It's not a good night unless you get a traffic cone. It's the police woman's helmet and the suspenders I don't understand."

• (Rimmer) "At least he gets 24 hours notice. All the notice most of us get is "Mind that bus. What bus? Splat.""

• (Rimmer) "Enough of all this chitter-chatter, let the banquet begin."
• (Kryten) "But I don't eat."
• (Holly) "I've knocked up a special mechanoid menu for you."
• (Kryten) "There's so much to choose from."
• (Rimmer) "Sir, may I recommend the Barium Hydrochloride Salad Nicoise followed by the Helium-3 Isotopes de la Maison, and then perhaps a small Radioactive Fruit Salad for pudding."

• (Lister) "Kryten 2X4B 523P? Is that your full name?"
• (Kryten) "Yes, but I don't like the 2X4B. Such a dorky middle name. Then again, I knew an android who's middle name was 2Q4B."

• (Kryten) "Is this the human quality you call friendship?"
• (Lister) "Don't give me any of that Star Trek crap. It's too early in the morning."

• (Lister) "How can you just lie back and accept it?"
• (Kryten) "Oh, it's not the end for me, sir, it's just the beginning. I have served my human masters, now I can look forward to my reward in silicon heaven."
• (Lister) "Silicon WHAT?"
• (Kryten) "Surely you've heard of silicon heaven?"
• (Lister) "Has it got anything to do with being stuck opposite Brigitte Nielsen in a packed lift?"
• (Kryten) "No, sir. It's the electronic afterlife. It's the gathering place for the souls of all electronic equipment. Robots, toasters, calculators. It's our final resting place."
• (Lister) "I don't mean to say anything out of place here, Kryten, but that is completely whacko Jacko. There is no such thing as 'Silicon Heaven'."
• (Kryten) "Then where do all the calculators go?"
• (Lister) "They don't go anywhere. They just die."
• (Kryten) "Surely you believe that God is in all things? Aren't you a pantheist?"
• (Lister) "Yeah, but I just don't think it applies to kitchen utensils. I'm not a FRYING pantheist. Machines do not have souls. Computers and calculators do not have an afterlife. You don't get hairdryers with tiny little wings, sitting on clouds and playing harps."
• (Kryten) "But of course you do. For is it not written in the Electronic Bible, "The Iron shall lie down with the Lamp"."

• (Lister) "What are you saying, Rimmer?"
• (Rimmer) "I'm saying that there is a very real possibility that your parents were brother and sister."
• (Lister) "Hey. I'm pouring me heart out here."
• (Rimmer) "How many toes have you got?"
• (Lister) "Ten."
• (The Cat) "Yeah, on both feet."
• (Lister) "Altogether."
• (Kryten) "They're not webbed or anything are they?"
• (Lister) "Look, they weren't related, all right?"

• (Kryten) "Mum. I never had a mum."
• (The Cat) "It's all right, buddy. It's all part of being drunk. You've been through the happy stage. Now you're going through the melancholy stage."
• (Kryten) "I wish I had a mum."
• (Holly) "I never had a mum, neither."
• (Rimmer) "Well, you can all have mine. Everyone else did."

• (Kryten) "It's got a nice kick to it; sort of a mix of Vimto and Liquid Nitrogen."
• (Holly) "Ere. Have you been looking in my recipe book."
• (Kryten) "Would anyone else like some?"
• (Holly) "Oh, no. It's lethal to humans."

• (Rimmer) "I used to be in the Samaritans."
• (Lister) "I know. For one morning."
• (Rimmer) "I couldn't take any more."
• (Lister) "I don't blame you. You spoke to five people and they all committed suicide. I wouldn't mind, but one was a wrong number. He only phoned up for the cricket scores."

• (Kryten) "At 0700 hours tomorrow morning my shutdown disk will be activated and all mental and physical operations will cease."
• (Lister) "Then what?"
• (Kryten) "I don't know, maybe I'll get a job as disk jockey."

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