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The More the Merrier Quotes

The More the Merrier is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . The More the Merrier ended in 1970.

It features George Stevens as producer, Leigh Harline in charge of musical score, and Ted Tetzlaff as head of cinematography.

The More the Merrier is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Jean Arthur as Connie Milligan, Charles Coburn as Benjamin Dingle, Joel McCrea as Joe Carter, Charles Coburn as Men bunking in the apartment building lobby, and Richard Gaines as Charles J. Pendergast.

The More the Merrier Quotes

Jean Arthur as Connie Milligan

  • (Jean Arthur) "I can't take one man's bag on another man's honeymoon."
  • (Jean Arthur) "See, this is a floor plan of the apartment. Here's my room, here's your room, here's the bathroom and here's the kitchen. Now, my alarm goes off at seven o'clock, and we both get up. At seven one, I enter the bathroom. Then you go down to get the milk, and by seven five you've started the coffee. One minute later, I leave the bathroom, and a minute after that, you enter the bathroom. And that's when I'm starting to dress. Three minutes later, I'm having my coffee, and a minute after that at seven twelve, you leave the bathroom. At seven thirteen, I put on my eggs, and I leave to finish dressing. Then you put on your shoes, and take off my eggs at seven sixteen. At seven seventeen, you start to shave. At seven eighteen, I eat my eggs, and at seven twenty-one, I'm in the bathroom fixing my hair, and at seven twenty-four, you're in the kitchen putting on your eggs. At seven twenty-five, you make your bed. Seven twenty-six, I make my bed. And then while you're eating your eggs, I take out the papers and cans. At seven twenty-nine, you're washing the dishes, and at seven thirty, we're all finished. You see?"
  • (Jean Arthur) "It's really very simple."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Do we do all this railroad time or Eastern War time?"
  • (Jean Arthur) "You've been shushing me for 22 months now. You've shushed your last shush."
  • (Diner Counterman) "Here's your fifty-cent blue plate."
  • (Joel McCrea) "What kind of fish is this?"
  • (Diner Counterman) "Catfish."
  • (Diner Counterman) "Here's your nice boiled rice."
  • (Joel McCrea) "What's the matter, honey?"
  • (Jean Arthur) "I never thought when they threw rice at me it would be boiled."
  • (Joel McCrea) "Look, we better hurry up and eat our lunch and get out of here. Let's go."
  • (Diner Counterman) "Is there something wrong, mister?"
  • (Joel McCrea) "No, everything's just dandy."
  • (Diner Counterman) "Well then why is the young lady crying?"
  • (Joel McCrea) "Because she's so happy."
  • (Diner Counterman) "Oh, for goodness sake. Newlyweds."
  • (Joel McCrea) "What's wrong with newlyweds?"
  • (Jean Arthur) "Why don't you go to the YMCA?"
  • (Charles Coburn) "I'm too old."
  • (Jean Arthur) "Or the, the veterans' home?"
  • (Charles Coburn) "I'm too young."
  • (Jean Arthur) "Well, I don't know what to think."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Well, sooner or later I'm going to rent half this apartment. Suppose I have a look at it, eh?"
  • (Jean Arthur) "You look messy. Don't you ever brush your hair?"
  • (Joel McCrea) "I bet Mr. Pendergast combs his hair every hour, on the hour."
  • (Jean Arthur) "Mr. Pendergast has no hair."
  • (Jean Arthur) "Is that the best you can do with your time?"
  • (Joel McCrea) "Mmm. Got to keep up with what's going on."
  • (Charles Coburn) "I missed two Sundays with "Superman" once, and I've never felt right since."
  • (Jean Arthur) "Seems to me you might read something more beneficial."
  • (Joel McCrea) "Like what?"
  • (Jean Arthur) "Like the editorials, for instance, or the columns. All well-informed people read the columnists."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Such as Mr. Pendergast, I suppose."
  • (Jean Arthur) "You're right, I suppose. Mr. Pendergast always reads the columnists."
  • (Joel McCrea) "Are they funny?"
  • (Charles Coburn) "Sometimes, but no pictures."

Charles Coburn as Benjamin Dingle

  • (Charles Coburn) "In love or war, with people like us, we've got to work fast or we'll miss the bus. If you straddle a fence and you sit and wait, you get too little and you get it too late."
  • (Charles Coburn) "What'll you say if we see it through, you stick by me and I'll stick by you. And our 18 children will be glad we said --"
  • (Charles Coburn) ""Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. And our 18 children will be glad we said, "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.""
  • (Charles Coburn) "I missed two Sundays of "Superman" once, and I've never felt the same since."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Old Jimmy Doolittle flew over the seas. He watched the nip at the Nipponese; Cleared a cloud and looked below, Said, "By golly there's To-ki-o." Oh Jimmy Doolittle he understood; He dood his duty and he dood it good. Somewhere Jimmy had heard it said, "Damn the torpedoes; full steam ahead." "Damn the torpedoes; full steam ahead." "Damn the torpedoes; full steam ahead.""
  • (Charles Coburn) "What's your name?"
  • (Joel McCrea) "Carter."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Bill Carter?"
  • (Joel McCrea) "Joe Carter."
  • (Charles Coburn) "I used to know a fellow named Bill Carter."
  • (Joel McCrea) "Wasn't me."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Don't you suppose I know that?"
  • (Joel McCrea) "What'd you ask for, then?"
  • (Charles Coburn) "I guess I know what Bill Carter looked like."
  • (Joel McCrea) "Not like me."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Oh, then, you know Bill Carter."
  • (Joel McCrea) "No, I don't, but he sounds like a great guy."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Hand me that section, will you? I want to see if anyone I know is being born today."
  • (Charles Coburn) "How do you do?"
  • (Jean Arthur) "How do you do?"
  • (Charles Coburn) "I'm Benjamin Dingle."
  • (Jean Arthur) "You certainly are."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Now about that apartment --"
  • (Jean Arthur) "I'm sorry, I've already rented it."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Just a moment, young lady. Do you think you know me well enough to lie to me?"
  • (Jean Arthur) "Yes."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Even so, you shouldn't do it. Do you realize that practically most of the trouble in the world comes from people lying to people? Just take Hitler, for instance. He's --"
  • (Jean Arthur) "I'm sorry, Mister, but I prefer sh --"
  • (Charles Coburn) "Uh, Mr. Dingle."
  • (Jean Arthur) "Mr. Dingle. I prefer sharing my apartment with a lady."
  • (Charles Coburn) "That's fine, so would I."
  • (Jean Arthur) "Uh, I'm sure you'd be happier someplace else."
  • (Charles Coburn) "I've been there."
  • (Charles Coburn) "There are two kinds of people; those who don't do what they want to do, so they write down in a diary about what they haven't done, and those who are too busy to write about it because they're out doing it."
  • (Charles Coburn) "There's a war going on Ms. Milligan."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Don't try to steal the sweetheart of a soldier; /It's up to you to play a manly part. /Though he's over there and she's over here, /Still she's always in his heart. /They may not meet again to love each other; /Still he prays that he'll come back some day. /While he fights for you and me /To protect our liberty, /Don't try to steal his girl away."
  • (Hotel Clerk) "Senator Noonan engaged a suite beginning the 24th. Why, this is only the 22nd. You're two days early."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Anything wrong with being two days early?"
  • (Hotel Clerk) "Why, no, sir."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Everybody ought to be two days early. When this nation gets two days early we'll be getting somewhere."
  • (Hotel Clerk) "Yes, sir. But unfortunately this suite won't be vacated until day-after-tomorrow."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Can you connect me with Senator Noonan?"
  • (Hotel Clerk) "The Senator's out of town."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Oh. When will he be back?"
  • (Hotel Clerk) "Well, he was due back, uh, day-before-yesterday, but he's, he's, uh --"
  • (Charles Coburn) "Two days late."
  • (Hotel Clerk) "Yes, sir."
  • (Charles Coburn) "Well when Senator Noonan gets back late, tell him I was here early."
  • (Hotel Clerk) "Yes, sir."

Joel McCrea as Joe Carter

  • (Joel McCrea) "What do you do?"
  • (Charles Coburn) "I'm a well-to-do, retired millionaire. How 'bout you?"
  • (Joel McCrea) "Same."

Richard Gaines as Charles J. Pendergast

  • (Richard Gaines) "What was he doing with his binoculars in your apartment?"

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