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Alice in Wonderland (1999 film) Quotes

Alice in Wonderland is a TV show that debuted in 1999 on NBC. Alice in Wonderland completed its run in 1970.

It features Dyson Lovell as producer, Richard Hartley as composer, and Stefan Lange as head of cinematography. Alice in Wonderland is executive produced by Brian Henson.

Alice in Wonderland is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Alice in Wonderland is 129 minutes long. Alice in Wonderland is produced by Hallmark Entertainment and distributed by Sparrowhawk Distribution.

The cast includes: Tina Majorino as Alice, George Wendt and Robbie Coltrane as Tweedledee, George Wendt and Robbie Coltrane as Tweedledum, Christopher Lloyd as White Knight, Gene Wilder as Mock Turtle, and Elizabeth Spriggs as Duchess.

Alice in Wonderland Quotes

Tina Majorino as Alice

  • (Tina Majorino) "Curiouser and curiouser --"
  • (Tina Majorino) "A cat may look at a king."
  • (Unnamed) "Where did you get that?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "I read it in a book."
  • (Unnamed) "I haven't. But I don't like it. It has undertones. That book should be banned."
  • (Tina Majorino) "Why is a raven like a writing table -- you know, I think I can guess that one --"
  • (March Hare) "You mean you think you know the answer?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "Yes."
  • (March Hare) "Well, then, you should say what you mean."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I do; I mean, I mean what I say; it's the same thing --"
  • (Unnamed) "It's not the same thing at all. You might as well say "I eat what I see" is the same as "I see what I eat.""
  • (March Hare) "You might as well say "I like what I get" is the same as "I get what I like.""
  • (Unnamed) "You might as well say "I breathe when I sleep" is the same as "I sleep when I breathe.""
  • (Unnamed) "Well, it IS the same thing with you."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I wonder what latitude or longitude I've gotten to? I've no idea what latitude or longitude are, but they're grand words. Longitude, latitude --"
  • (March Hare) "Have some wine."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I don't see any wine --"
  • (March Hare) "There isn't any. And you're too young."
  • (Tina Majorino) "Then it wasn't very kind of you to offer it."
  • (March Hare) "It wasn't very kind of YOU to sit down without an invitation. This is a PRIVATE soirée --"
  • (Tina Majorino) "Well, I know it wasn't polite to barge in when I know I wasn't invited. But the table was laid out for a great many people."
  • (Unnamed) "My response to that is both profound and meaningful: get your hair cut."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I'm sorry, I don't have the time --"
  • (George Wendt and Robbie Coltrane) "Neither do we. We never carry a watch."
  • (Unnamed) "What day of the month is it?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "The fourth."
  • (Unnamed) "AHA. Two days wrong."
  • (Unnamed) "I told you not to use butter."
  • (March Hare) "It was the best butter --"
  • (Unnamed) "Danish, mmm --"
  • (Unnamed) "Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well. I said, don't put butter in the works with a breadknife --."
  • (March Hare) "I couldn't put it in with a fork, could I? Here, let me see --"
  • (Unnamed) "I wouldn't think of it -- but I will."
  • (March Hare) "I still don't understand it. It was the best butter --"
  • (Tina Majorino) "What a funny watch. It tells the day and the month, but not the time."
  • (Unnamed) "Why should it? Does your watch tell you what year it is?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "No, because it stays a year for so long."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, then, I rest my case."
  • (March Hare) "Where?"
  • (Unnamed) "There."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I think carefully before acting rashly."
  • (Unnamed) "Sound advice."
  • (Tina Majorino) "Why am I here?"
  • (Elizabeth Spriggs) "To save Jack from a death worse than fate."
  • (Tina Majorino) "Would you stop grumping like that? You sound as if you've turned into a pig -- you HAVE turned into a pig. I'd better let you go --"
  • (Tina Majorino) "When I used to read about fairy tales, I never thought I would end up in the middle of one. There ought to be a story written about me. Perhaps one day, when I've grown up, I'll write one --"
  • (Tina Majorino) "How can you keep talking like that?"
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Like what?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "Head downwards, and body in the air."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "What does it matter where my head and body are? My mind goes on working just the same --"
  • (Unnamed) "Hello. Who are you?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "Alice."
  • (Unnamed) "Alice -- a charming misnomer."
  • (Tina Majorino) "And you are?"
  • (Unnamed) "A Griffin. Part eagle, part lion; the best of each, I always say."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I thought you were a mythical creature."
  • (Unnamed) "I am. That makes me even more fffffascinating."
  • (Tina Majorino) "If you're not quiet, I'll make you into a chain."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I'm not staying here listening you to be rude."
  • (March Hare) "You'll find better places for that, I'm sure."
  • (Unnamed) "How're you enjoying the game?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "They don't play very fair."
  • (Unnamed) "No one does if they think they can get away with it. That's a lesson you'll have to learn."
  • (Tina Majorino) "You don't seem to have much riding practice."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "What makes you say that?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "You keep falling off your horse."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "I've had plenty of practice at THAT, plenty of practice."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I don't want to meet mad people --"
  • (Unnamed) "But you can't help it. Everyone here is mad. I'm mad. You're mad. It's only by chance n' careful planning if you're not."
  • (Tina Majorino) "How do you know I'M mad?"
  • (Unnamed) "Because you're here, and everyone here is mad."
  • (Tina Majorino) "If you drink too much from a bottle marked "poison," it's almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later."
  • (Unnamed) "Personal remarks are rude?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "Mm-hmm."
  • (Unnamed) "Egad, you learn something new every day. Make a note of that, Marcsy, it might come in useful --"
  • (Tina Majorino) "Oh Tiger Lily, I wish you could talk so you could tell me how to get out of this wood."
  • (Unnamed) "I can talk, when there's anybody worth talking to."
  • (Tina Majorino) "I'm lost. Could you help me?"
  • (March Hare) "No room."
  • (Unnamed) "There's no room."
  • (Tina Majorino) "There's PLENTY of room."
  • (March Hare) "Why didn't you report this sooner, Hatty?"
  • (Unnamed) "I overslept."
  • (Unnamed) "Time marches on its stomach."
  • (Tina Majorino) "It's an army that marches on its stomach."
  • (March Hare) "It doesn't matter what's supposed to march on its stomach. It's time to move down."
  • (Tina Majorino) "What are they doing? They can't have anything to write; the trial hasn't even begun yet."
  • (Elizabeth Spriggs) "They're writing down their own names in case they forget them by the time the trial is over."
  • (Tina Majorino) "Stupid things."
  • (Jury Member 1) "Stupid -- how do you spell "stupid"?"
  • (Jury Member 2) "Uhhh, S -- T -- what comes after T?"
  • (Jury Member 3) "Dinner."
  • (Jury Member 4) "Is it dinner time? It's dinner time."

Christopher Lloyd as White Knight

  • (Christopher Lloyd) "You look worried. You're too young to worry."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Just be brave, and always get back on your horse."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Is your hair fixed on your head right?"
  • (Tina Majorino) "Only in the usual way."
  • (Christopher Lloyd) "Well, that's not good enough. The wind around here is as strong as soup."

Gene Wilder as Mock Turtle

  • (Gene Wilder) "When Griff and I were little, we went to school in the same sea. And the master was an old turtle; we used to call him "tortoise.""
  • (Tina Majorino) "Why would you call him tortoise if he wasn't one?"
  • (Gene Wilder) "We called him "tortoise" because he "tort-us." -- He tort us reading and writing --"
  • (Gene Wilder) "Once --"
  • (Gene Wilder) "I was once a real turtle --"
  • (Tina Majorino) "Thank you for that very interesting story --"
  • (Gene Wilder) "I haven't started yet."
  • (Unnamed) "Stay. You may learn something."

George Wendt and Robbie Coltrane as Tweedledum

  • (George Wendt and Robbie Coltrane) "Well, all's well that ends well --"
  • (George Wendt and Robbie Coltrane) "What is THAT?"
  • (George Wendt and Robbie Coltrane) "I was an advisor to the British army."
  • (George Wendt and Robbie Coltrane) "I advised them not to take him, but they wouldn't listen."

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