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Better Than Chocolate Quotes

Better Than Chocolate is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Better Than Chocolate ended its run in 1970.

It features Sharon McGowan as producer, Graeme Coleman in charge of musical score, and Gregory Middleton as head of cinematography.

Better Than Chocolate is recorded in English and originally aired in Canada. Each episode of Better Than Chocolate is 102 mins long. Better Than Chocolate is distributed by Motion International.

The cast includes: Kevin Mundy as Paul, Marya Delver as Carla, Wendy Crewson as Lila, Karyn Dwyer as Maggie, Tony Nappo as Tony, Christina Cox as Kim, Ann-Marie MacDonald as Frances, Jay Brazeau as Mr. Marcus, Peter Outerbridge as Judy, and Beatrice Zeilinger as Bernice.

Better Than Chocolate Quotes

Tony Nappo as Tony

  • (Tony Nappo) "That's funny -- Get out."
  • (Christina Cox) "I am out."

Ann-Marie MacDonald as Frances

  • (Ann-Marie MacDonald) "Seriously, Mr. Marcus, the Supreme Court has declared that anal sex is to gay male sex what Mozart is to classical music."
  • (Jay Brazeau) "Miss Turner, we are not here to discuss classical music. I myself am a huge Mozart fan, but --"
  • (Ann-Marie MacDonald) "Look, the f***ing Supreme Court has declared this natural. It is not obscene."
  • (Jay Brazeau) "In case you haven't noticed this is not the Supreme Court. We're here in Customs and I have a job to do."
  • (Ann-Marie MacDonald) "We're just following orders, are we? Asshole."
  • (Jay Brazeau) "From your perspective, that must be a compliment of Mozartian proportions."
  • (Unnamed) "The books have been classified as obscene and will not be allowed through the border. Now, if I can just get you to sign here."
  • (Ann-Marie MacDonald) "Little Red Riding Hood is obscene?"
  • (Jay Brazeau) "Well, we, we thought it was something else."
  • (Ann-Marie MacDonald) "Of course it's obscene. That's the point."

Marya Delver as Carla

  • (Marya Delver) "Boys like toys too, you know."
  • (Kevin Mundy) "This is for boys?"
  • (Marya Delver) "Um-hmmmmmm."
  • (Kevin Mundy) "What is it?"
  • (Marya Delver) "A butt plug."
  • (Marya Delver) "It's okay honey, I bleach it."
  • (Marya Delver) "Customs held up another order of books at the border. They're claiming the books are pornographic -- hello? Which they aren't. Well, maybe "Butches in Chains" is, but so what?"
  • (Marya Delver) "Ouch, it's the plight of the bisexual. Gay girls won't play with you."

Kevin Mundy as Paul

  • (Kevin Mundy) "Are you sure you like boys?"
  • (Marya Delver) "Soft centers, hard centers. I like ALL the chocolates in the box."

Wendy Crewson as Lila

  • (Wendy Crewson) "I read a study and after the age of forty a woman's chances of having sex are diminished by eighty percent. SO, after fifty, God help you. And since I probably won't be having sex again, chocolate is the only pleasure left for me."
  • (Wendy Crewson) "What is going on with her these days?"
  • (Peter Outerbridge) "You'd have to ask her that, Lila."
  • (Wendy Crewson) "So, there is something going on?"
  • (Peter Outerbridge) "Oh, well, she's nineteen. There's always something going on when you're nineteen."
  • (Wendy Crewson) "So, you're working in a discount bookstore, huh?"
  • (Karyn Dwyer) "I am? Oh. "Ten Percent.""

Christina Cox as Kim

  • (Christina Cox) "Say you're sorry."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm sorry."
  • (Peter Outerbridge) "-- "I"m sorry, ma"am.""
  • (Unnamed) "I'm -- sorry -- ma'am."
  • (Peter Outerbridge) "Thank you."
  • (Christina Cox) "That's not a kick -- that's a one-two punch."
  • (Tony Nappo) "That'll put hair on your chest."

Karyn Dwyer as Maggie

  • (Karyn Dwyer) "You're not bi-sexual, Carla; you're omni-sexual. You're like that tornado in the Wizard of Oz, sweeping up everything in your path."
  • (Karyn Dwyer) "What are you doing?"
  • (Christina Cox) "Better homes and dildos."

Beatrice Zeilinger as Bernice

  • (Beatrice Zeilinger) "Do we have a problem in here?"
  • (Ann-Marie MacDonald) "Bernice? Oh my god, I haven't seen you since the women's music festival."

Peter Outerbridge as Judy

  • (Peter Outerbridge) "I'm Jeremy."
  • (Wendy Crewson) "You're a man?"
  • (Peter Outerbridge) "No, no, no, no, no, not really. Not ever. I was born into a man's body but I've always been a woman and well, after the final surgery --"
  • (Wendy Crewson) "I think I need a little drink."

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