(Article is below...)

Pirates of Silicon Valley Quotes

Pirates of Silicon Valley is a Drama film that was first aired in 1999 on TNT (U.S. TV network). Pirates of Silicon Valley stopped airing in 1970.

It features Leanne Moore as producer, Frank Fitzpatrick as theme composer, and Ousama Rawi as head of cinematography.

Pirates of Silicon Valley is recorded in English and originally aired in :United States. Each episode of Pirates of Silicon Valley is 95 minutes long. Pirates of Silicon Valley is produced by TNT (U.S. TV network) and distributed by TNT (U.S. TV network).

The cast includes: Noah Wyle as Steve Jobs, Anthony Michael Hall as Bill Gates, J. G. Hertzler as Ridley Scott, John DiMaggio as Ballmer, Jeffrey Nordling as Mike Markkula, Joey Slotnick as Steve Wozniak, Gema Zamprogna as Arlene, Josh Hopkins as Paul Allen, and Allan Royal as John Sculley.

Pirates of Silicon Valley Quotes

Joey Slotnick as Steve Wozniak

  • (Joey Slotnick) "I've always wondered what it was like for Steve. Ever since we were kids, everything he ever did was somewhere between a religious experience and some sort of crusade, like with this"
  • (Joey Slotnick) "commercial --"
  • (Joey Slotnick) "They hated it."
  • (Noah Wyle) "Woo hoo."
  • (Joey Slotnick) "All I'm doing now is being a brake pedal for you as you're heading for the wall."
  • (Joey Slotnick) "Microsoft? Nobody I knew ever heard of Microsoft. Or Bill Gates. I mean, they were nobodies. But then we were all nobodies, which was perfect for us. Because all the respectable, straight-arrow guys were busy doing what they always do, which is be respectable. Which meant the rest of us could run around acting like crazies, which is what we did best. I miss those days."
  • (Joey Slotnick) "Where's your beard?"
  • (Noah Wyle) "In the bathroom sink. I shaved it off."
  • (Joey Slotnick) "Well, how come?"
  • (Noah Wyle) "'Cause banks don't like beards."
  • (Joey Slotnick) "Steve -- you demolished that guy."

John DiMaggio as Ballmer

  • (John DiMaggio) "Bill, I don't know if it's the clothes on the floor or you, but something in here definitely needs to be hosed down."
  • (John DiMaggio) "You're the only guy I know who pays strippers to put their clothes on."

Anthony Michael Hall as Bill Gates

  • (Chris Larson) "Eureka. I created a program that can play blackjack."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "Chris, you've been here two days, and you're into blackjack?"
  • (Chris Larson) "Yeah, so?"
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "So we've got work to do."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "Steve, all cars have steering wheels, but no one tries to claim that the steering wheel was their invention."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "It's going to be very interesting, you know -- you and me, working together?"
  • (Noah Wyle) "Yeah. Yeah, it sure is."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "Now, we know that IBM has set up this place to complete head-on with Apple, and that you're gearing up to come out with a personal computer that will wipe them out. So we can get you an operating system."
  • (Unnamed) "What kind of operating system?"
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "It's called DOS."
  • (Unnamed) "This is amazing. Not just amazing, it's historic. It should be taught in all the history books. Hung and framed in the National Gallery or something, because this is the instant of creation of one of the greatest fortunes in the history of the world. I mean, Bill Gates is the richest guy in the world because of what started in this room. And you wanna know what else? It wasn't exactly smoke and mirrors, but we didn't have anything. I mean, not a damn thing. Here we were, this two-bit little outfit, telling IBM we had the answer to their problems. The DOS? The Disk Operating System? To make all those zillion IBM computers compute? We didn't remotely own anything like what Bill was selling them. Nada. Zip."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "There may be a few -- similarities."
  • (Noah Wyle) "Similarities? Similarities? Try theft."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "You know how you survive? You make people need you. You survive because you make them need what you have. And then they have no where else to go."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "Success is a menace. It fools smart people into thinking they can't lose."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "I don't understand; how does the hardware handle the mouse/cursor display?"
  • (Gilmore) "No, it's all right here in the software --"
  • (Noah Wyle) "Enough."
  • (Gilmore) "Sorry, Steve."
  • (Noah Wyle) "There's no use torturing our guests with what they can't have."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "Honest to God, Ballmer. You have no culture."
  • (John DiMaggio) "Oh yeah, like you go around reading Plato. You're the only guy I know who can make furniture out of Playboys. Look, you got enough to make a chair. You don't have to worry about 'em moving around, 'cause they're all stuck together --"
  • (John DiMaggio) "They're all stuck together."

Noah Wyle as Steve Jobs

  • (Noah Wyle) "Maybe in a past life I was a poet; or an artist."
  • (Noah Wyle) "We're better than you are. We have better stuff."
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "You don't get it, Steve. That doesn't matter."
  • (Noah Wyle) "I made a mistake. I trusted. I believed. "Family?" Maybe a Mafia family. You turn your back, and you get whacked."
  • (Noah Wyle) "What is this? This is like doing business with a praying mantis. You get seduced, and then eaten alive afterwards?"
  • (Anthony Michael Hall) "Get real, would ya? You and I are both like guys who had this rich neighbor; Xerox; who left the door open all the time. And you go sneakin' in to steal a TV set. Only when you get there, you realize that I got there first. I got the loot, Steve. And you're yellin'? "That's not fair. I wanted to try to steal it first." You're too late."
  • (Noah Wyle) "I don't want you to think of this as just a film; some process of converting electrons and magnetic impulses into shapes and figures and sounds. No. Listen to me. We're here to make a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why even be here? We're creating a completely new consciousness, like an artist or poet. That's how you have to think of this. We're rewriting the history of human thought with what we're doing."
  • (J. G. Hertzler) "Right. Well, Steven, at the moment I'm a touch more worried about getting light on the actress. Do you know what I mean?"
  • (Noah Wyle) "Those guys think they're revolutionaries. They're not revolutionaries, we are."
  • (Joey Slotnick) "We are?"
  • (Noah Wyle) "Maybe fun is just fragments of existence with better packaging."
  • (Noah Wyle) "You are putting poison into your body."
  • (Joey Slotnick) "That's french fries, man. You know, all-American food?"
  • (Noah Wyle) "That's what I'm talking about."
  • (Joey Slotnick) "Come on, I can't eat like you do. Eatin' fruit all the time? That's weird."
  • (Noah Wyle) "It's not weird. It's pure."
  • (Noah Wyle) "What's he talking about, the Altair? I never had a problem with the Altair; 'til I tried to use it."
  • (Noah Wyle) "Good artists copy, great artists steal."
  • (Noah Wyle) "Are you sure this thing is even gonna work?"
  • (Joey Slotnick) "If it doesn't catch fire."
  • (Noah Wyle) "Don't even joke."
  • (Noah Wyle) "What, like I have to have a moustache?"
  • (Joey Slotnick) "A suit. You actually bought a suit."
  • (Noah Wyle) "Are you a virgin?"
  • (Jeffrey Nordling) "Steve, come on."

Gema Zamprogna as Arlene

  • (Gema Zamprogna) "Steve, why do you care what I call the baby?"
  • (Noah Wyle) "Because I don't want the baby named Rainbow. Or Orisha, or Ravi Shankar, or any other name like that."

Josh Hopkins as Paul Allen

  • (Unnamed) "Why do you want to buy my operating system?"
  • (Josh Hopkins) "We think we might be able to, uh, mess with it, and, uh, resell it."
  • (Unnamed) "Who to?"
  • (Josh Hopkins) "We've got some people we're sorta talkin' to. Some of 'em don't really want it known what we're doin' with 'em and they made us sign a secrecy agreement."
  • (Unnamed) "And you're offering us?"
  • (Josh Hopkins) "Fifty thousand."
  • (Unnamed) "Dollars?"
  • (Josh Hopkins) "Dollars."

Jeffrey Nordling as Mike Markkula

  • (Jeffrey Nordling) "Steve Wozniak's employee number one, you're number two."
  • (Noah Wyle) "Wait a minute. I'm employee number one. Woz?"
  • (Joey Slotnick) "Doesn't matter to me."
  • (Noah Wyle) "I'm employee number one around here."
  • (Jeffrey Nordling) "I'm not saying anything. I wasn't implying anything."
  • (Noah Wyle) "All right, then I'll be zero. Woz, you can be number one. I'll be zero. Okay?"

Allan Royal as John Sculley

  • (Allan Royal) "Steve, I'm worried. About what's happening. All the "them versus us" stuff. Macintosh versus Apple II."
  • (Noah Wyle) "You don't understand, John. People need a cause."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.

Additional Film and TV Quotes

Fat Butt and Pancake Head Quotes | The Nightmare Before Christmas Quotes | Pinky (film) Quotes | The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939 film) Quotes | The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996 film) Quotes | Rocket Robin Hood Quotes | Hornblower (TV series) Quotes | Good Bye, Lenin! Quotes | The Calcium Kid Quotes | Static Shock Quotes | Where No Man Has Gone Before Quotes | Emissary (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) Quotes | Encounter at Farpoint Quotes | The Trouble with Tribbles Quotes | The Cage (Star Trek: The Original Series) Quotes | The City on the Edge of Forever Quotes | Mirror, Mirror (Star Trek: The Original Series) Quotes | Happy Gilmore Quotes | Monsterpiece Theater Quotes | Orgazmo Quotes | The Slipper and the Rose Quotes | Pocahontas (1995 film) Quotes | Cinderella (1950 film) Quotes | Bewitched Quotes | 10 Things I Hate About You Quotes |