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Scary Movie 3 Quotes

Scary Movie 3 is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Scary Movie 3 stopped airing in 1970.

It features James L. Venable in charge of musical score, and Mark Irwin as head of cinematography.

Scary Movie 3 is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Scary Movie 3 is 84 minutes long. Scary Movie 3 is distributed by Dimension Films.

The cast includes: Simon Rex as George, Charlie Sheen as Tom, Anthony Anderson as Mahalik, Kevin Hart as CJ, Jeremy Piven as Ross Giggins, Anna Faris as Cindy, George Carlin as The Architect, Jianna Ballard as Sue, Tom Kenny as Alien #1, Leslie Nielsen as President Harris, Drew Mikuska as Cody, Pamela Anderson as Becca, Jenny McCarthy as Kate, Camryn Manheim as Trooper Champlin, D. L. Hughley as John Wilson, Denise Richards as Annie, Regina Hall as Brenda Meeks, Eddie Griffin as Orpheus, Queen Latifah as RZA, Eddie Griffin as MJ, Ja Rule as Agent Thompson, Ajay Naidu as Sayaman, Darrell Hammond as Father Muldoon, and George Carlin as Architect.

Scary Movie 3 Quotes

Anna Faris as Cindy

  • (Anna Faris) "Time to go back down the well, bitch."
  • (Anna Faris) "I can't believe you let that happen."
  • (Simon Rex) "I know, I'm sorry. I screwed up."
  • (Anna Faris) "Listen, we can still save him. The answer to the tape, to your crop circles, is at a lighthouse. Oh, you think I'm crazy, don't you?"
  • (Simon Rex) "Of course I do."
  • (Anna Faris) "It's so hard."
  • (Simon Rex) "Well, you're a beautiful woman, and you're pressing up against me."
  • (Anna Faris) "I'm looking for something more than just good sex."
  • (Regina Hall) "I know. You want commitment."
  • (Anna Faris) "No, I want great sex."
  • (Mr. Meeks) "These just came today. Photos from a trip she took."
  • (Anna Faris) "They're blank."
  • (Mrs. Meeks) "Turn them around, honey."
  • (Anna Faris) "Oh."
  • (Anna Faris) "Call it women's intuition, or ESPN, or both, but I can tell when danger's near --"
  • (Tabitha) "Thank you all. Your love has freed my soul. I won't have to kill again."
  • (Anna Faris) "Really?"
  • (Tabitha) "I'm just screwin' with ya."
  • (Anna Faris) "Hello?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Seven days."
  • (Anna Faris) "What? Willie Mays?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Seven days."
  • (Anna Faris) "Who's gay? Hello?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Seven days."
  • (Anna Faris) "What?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Can you hear me now?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Kind of."
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Can you hear me now?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Yes. Perfect."
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Seven days."
  • (Anna Faris) "Seven days. Oh, my God. I'm gonna die next Monday?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Yes. No. Wait. Monday. That would be seven business days. This is seven days starting now."
  • (Anna Faris) "So seven days to this very hour? My watch broke. How am I gonna know the exact hour?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Forget hours. This day seven days from now."
  • (Anna Faris) "But there's a holiday coming up. Do you count the holiday?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Well, that depends. What holiday?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Martin Luther King Day."
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Then no."
  • (Anna Faris) "Why not? Everybody at work is taking it off."
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Jesus Christ, lady. I'm giving you seven friggin' days. I can come over now and kill the s*** out of you if you'd rather have that."
  • (Anna Faris) "Hello?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "It's me. How you doing?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Fine."
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Enjoying your last week? I can't wait to see you. Six days now, right?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Yeah."
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "It was great catching up. Can I speak to Cody?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Why? He didn't watch the tape."
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Yes, he did. Come on, Cindy, I do this for a living."
  • (Anna Faris) "Hello?"
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Hello, I'm calling from "Reader's Digest" with a fantastic offer for Cody."
  • (Anna Faris) "No, you're not. You're that evil little girl from the tape."
  • (Tabitha's Voice) "Okay, you got me. How about I just leave a message for him?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Fine."
  • (Anna Faris) "Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, how do you spell that? Right. Okay, got it. Bye-bye."
  • (Anna Faris) "Aaaah."
  • (Anna Faris) "Something weird is going on at your farm. I know it."
  • (Simon Rex) "I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence."
  • (Carson Ward) "It's sweeps month. Ratings mean everything. People want human interest stories, like the one you did yesterday."
  • (Anna Faris) "The report on breast augmentation? It was just ten minutes of topless women. People want hard hitting stories, and indepth coverage, and, and --"
  • (Carson Ward) "And TWINS."
  • (Anna Faris) "Cody, did I ever tell you what your mom said about you the day you were born?"
  • (Drew Mikuska) "No."
  • (Anna Faris) "I was in the delivery room with her. She was having a hard time. Then you began to come out of her. And your mom screamed and screamed in pain. She yelled, "Just kill me. Bludgeon me with a bedpan. Whatever you do, put me out of this pain." She was gushing torrents of blood. I have this all on tape if you want to see it someday. Well, finally you came out. Your mom cut your umbilical cord herself. Well, on the second try. The first time she snipped your penis in half. After all, she was drunk. Actually, drugged. We'd been out the night before celebrating St. Patrick's Day. And she thought, "Hey, I never tasted crystal meth." So she did just a little."
  • (Drew Mikuska) "My penis?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Yes. They sewed it on upside down."
  • (Drew Mikuska) "So that's why I pee up?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Yes. We'll get it fixed, honey. It's on my list of things. Right after we get TiVo. Anyway, there you were. Your mom turned to me and she said, "Hey, you want him? Take him." And then she died. And I took you. Do you know why? I'd just lost my cat in a fire, and I needed something to pet and feed. And I miss that cat, Cody. But I love you. And nothing's ever gonna change that, not even the very painful death we're about to experience."

Leslie Nielsen as President Harris

  • (Leslie Nielsen) "I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you."
  • (Leslie Nielsen) "Good God, the small ones have metal teeth. Jerry's Kids, my ass."
  • (Leslie Nielsen) "Ah, good. The Air Force is here with those new round planes."
  • (Secret Serviceman Jones) "We don't have round planes, sir."
  • (Leslie Nielsen) "These men died for their country. Send flowers to their bitches and hos."
  • (Leslie Nielsen) "You're excited? You should feel my nipples."

Simon Rex as George

  • (Simon Rex) "You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here"
  • (Simon Rex) "and start livin' down here?"
  • (Anthony Anderson) "Or what if we stop livin' over here"
  • (Anthony Anderson) "and start livin' over there?"
  • (Kevin Hart) "s***, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there. But that bitch got evicted though."
  • (Anthony Anderson) "For what?"
  • (Kevin Hart) "Mice."
  • (Anthony Anderson) "I thought she had rats?"
  • (Kevin Hart) "No, rats are outside, mice are inside."
  • (Anthony Anderson) "But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?"
  • (Kevin Hart) "I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'."
  • (Anthony Anderson) "That's because it's a rat, fool."
  • (Kevin Hart) "Damn. You mighta just made fact. That's some real s*** right there. A-Ha."
  • (Simon Rex) "Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything --"
  • (Simon Rex) "Family, that's just what I've been running away from"
  • (Leslie Nielsen) "Well, that's because you're an idiot."
  • (Simon Rex) "So, I'll be doing the rap battle at the 23 Club tomorrow night."
  • (Regina Hall) "Oh, I don't believe this s***."
  • (Simon Rex) "Word. You two should come down. I'll be rappin', I'll be cappin', I'll be tappin', I'll be flappin', I'll be happen -- ing. Ding, bing, wing. Yo."
  • (Anna Faris) "Sounds good."
  • (Simon Rex) "Would, could, should, 'hood."
  • (Regina Hall) "Ugh."
  • (Simon Rex) "Gug, mug, dug, bug."
  • (Simon Rex) "Sue wanted to pay respects to her teacher. You?"
  • (Anna Faris) "Brenda was my bitch."
  • (Simon Rex) "Why is there an open casket?"
  • (Anna Faris) "George it's a wake."
  • (Simon Rex) "She's alive, Sue your teacher is alive."
  • (Anna Faris) "No George she's dead."
  • (Simon Rex) "No Brenda. Don't die on me."
  • (Anthony Anderson) "Hey get away from him broad."
  • (Simon Rex) "clear."
  • (Simon Rex) "I have a dream."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "What is your dream?"
  • (Simon Rex) "To have a dream."
  • (Simon Rex) "Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's -- She's dead."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Oh. I better tell her."
  • (Simon Rex) "No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?"
  • (Jianna Ballard) "Yes?"
  • (Simon Rex) "You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?"
  • (Jianna Ballard) "Yeah."
  • (Simon Rex) "She's dead."
  • (Jianna Ballard) "Aah."
  • (Simon Rex) "Gone forever. Died a horrible, painful death. Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog."
  • (Jianna Ballard) "My dog's dead?"
  • (Simon Rex) "I just ran him over with the car when I drove in. Everyone you love around you is dying."

Tom Kenny as Alien #1

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Anthony Anderson as Mahalik

  • (Anthony Anderson) "Yo George, you need something? I'll do anything for you -- ANYTHING --"
  • (Anthony Anderson) "Yo DJ, spin that s***."
  • (Anthony Anderson) "I found their weakness. They're powerless without their heads."
  • (Anthony Anderson) "So, if they're friendly, then how come they choke us a few minutes ago?"
  • (Tom Kenny) "Oh, that's how we say hello."
  • (Simon Rex) "Then how do you say good-bye?"
  • (Simon Rex) "Oooh -- I had to ask --"
  • (Tom Kenny) "If you think that's unusual, then you should see how we pee."
  • (Leslie Nielsen) "Oooooh, we are not so much different after all --"
  • (Anthony Anderson) "I heard Jamal from 90th street watched that tape last week and this mornin' he woke up dead."
  • (Kevin Hart) "How the hell do you wake up dead?"
  • (Anthony Anderson) "Cause' you're alive when you go to sleep."
  • (Kevin Hart) "So you're telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?"
  • (Anthony Anderson) "You can't go to bed dead. That s*** would've been redundant."
  • (Kevin Hart) "No it would'nt cause' you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed."
  • (Anthony Anderson) "But you are in the bed. That's how you wake up dead in the first place fool."
  • (Kevin Hart) "Damn. that's some quantum s*** right there man. You should be teaching classes."

Kevin Hart as CJ

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

George Carlin as Architect

  • (George Carlin) "My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I."
  • (George Carlin) "We loved our daughter very much, but she was evil. Made the horses crazy. Killed our puppies. Hid the remote. Really sick s***. My wife took her to the old family farm and drowned her in the well. I felt a simple time-out would have been sufficient."
  • (George Carlin) "The answer is simple. You are the eventuality of an anomaly. You are inexorably seeking a sedulant probability."
  • (Anna Faris) "Sedulant? I uh --"
  • (George Carlin) "Grotesquery? -- No? -- What about, contingent affirmation? -- That's gotta mean somethin --"
  • (George Carlin) "It's already begun. You're too late."
  • (Anna Faris) "Oh, my God."
  • (George Carlin) "But not too late to make an old man happy."
  • (George Carlin) "I can't help it. It's very lonely in here. Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time, not counting myself. Or this chair. I call her -- Linda."

Denise Richards as Annie

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Ajay Naidu as Sayaman

  • (Ajay Naidu) "I'm sorry about that night. If I hadn't fallen asleep while driving for that exact 20 minutes. If I hadn't drank that exact whole bottle of Jaegermeister. If only I hadn't killed that hooker."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Sayaman. I don't see what any of this has to do with Annie."
  • (Ajay Naidu) "I'm sorry. Those were other nights. But if it had been that night, I might have missed her."

Jeremy Piven as Ross Giggins

  • (Jeremy Piven) "Do they pose a threat? Only one thing's for certain. We are all going to be killed."
  • (Jeremy Piven) "-- and now the killer video that kills you seven days after you watched it, we're the only station that has it and we are showing it all night"

Charlie Sheen as Tom

  • (Charlie Sheen) "Quick, we can get that plank of wood to jam underneath the door."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Oh, my balls."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Oh -- Jesus."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "I want to see Annie."
  • (Camryn Manheim) "She's split in half."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "You mean like down-the-middle in half?"
  • (Camryn Manheim) "At the waist."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "You mean this is the last time I can talk to the top half?"
  • (Camryn Manheim) "Yes. The truck is the only thing that is holding her together."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Let's say this is her bottom half."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Can I squeeze in a few minutes with that?"
  • (Camryn Manheim) "I'm not sure what you mean."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Let me explain."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Sue?"
  • (Jianna Ballard) "I can't sleep."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Well, it's way past your bedtime."
  • (Jianna Ballard) "Won't you rock me to sleep in your big, strong arms? There's plenty of room under the covers. It's a hot night. You don't need to wear pajamas."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Where is my daughter?"
  • (Jianna Ballard) "Are you mad? I am your daughter."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "No you're not."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Hi, baby."
  • (Denise Richards) "Honey, I'm dying."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "No, don't talk like that, the truck barely hit you."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Come here. What did you do with Sue?"
  • (Eddie Griffin) "I didn't touch her, I swear."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "I don't believe you."
  • (Eddie Griffin) "Please, for God's sake. She's a girl."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Don't call me "dude". I haven't been a stoner since --"
  • (Charlie Sheen) "How do you like it?"

Camryn Manheim as Trooper Champlin

  • (Camryn Manheim) "Your faith will return. Just as sure as the sun will rise."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Sounds like a long shot."
  • (Camryn Manheim) "It's your wife, Father. She's hurt."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "Annie?"
  • (Camryn Manheim) "She was hit by a truck and she's pinned against a tree."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "I don't understand."
  • (Camryn Manheim) "As long as the truck has her pinned, she'll stay alive."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "I still don't get it."
  • (Camryn Manheim) "This -- is your wife."
  • (Charlie Sheen) "She broke her wiener?"

Pamela Anderson as Becca

  • (Pamela Anderson) "Katie,are you okay?"
  • (Pamela Anderson) "Are you okay?"

D. L. Hughley as John Wilson

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Jenny McCarthy as Kate

  • (Jenny McCarthy) "I hate television; gives me headaches."
  • (Pamela Anderson) "You know, there's so many magnetic waves travelling in the airspace because of TV and television, we're losing like ten times as many brain cells as we're supposed to."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "Oh, please."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "The cow says blank? Three letters?"
  • (Pamela Anderson) "Dude."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "Dude. I dont know, magnetic waves, brain cells, I don?t understand the connection between all that stuff."
  • (Pamela Anderson) "You know what else I heard? Magnetic waves shrink silicone molecules."
  • (Pamela Anderson) "Agghh. Oh, my God, turn it off."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "It's not working."
  • (Pamela Anderson) "It's backwards."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "What do we do?"
  • (Pamela Anderson) "I dont know. Aghhhh."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "That was kind of scary."
  • (Pamela Anderson) "I know something even scarier."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "Ooh, what?"
  • (Pamela Anderson) "Have you heard about this videotape?"
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "The one where they do it on the boat and then in the car and then in the bathtub? And he's like, "Hey, baby, I love you? and she's like "Where are we?" And did you see the size?"
  • (Pamela Anderson) "No. Not that tape. The one with all the scary images, and after you watch the tape, the phone rings and this really scary voice comes on and says you're gonna die in like --"
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "Seven days. Yeah, I saw that one with Josh last weekend."
  • (Pamela Anderson) "You were with Josh last weeknd? Oh, my God."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "Oh, yes I was."
  • (Pamela Anderson) "You ho."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "You know it."
  • (Pamela Anderson) "This is really weird."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "Yeah, big house, only one phone."
  • (Jenny McCarthy) "Ask your Mom which bathroom has the vibrating showerhead."

Regina Hall as Brenda Meeks

  • (Regina Hall) "Now who the f*** did that."
  • (Regina Hall) "I just got a weird feeling something bad is heading my way. Like when you see an Asian person behind the wheel of a car."
  • (Regina Hall) "I saw this tape, and I think you should know about it. It had these really shocking images on it."
  • (Anna Faris) "Brenda, it was Mardi Gras, I never drank Vodka before, and I was outta beads."
  • (Regina Hall) "No, not that tape Cindy. Anyway, you watch the tape, and when it's over, your phone rings. And this creepy voice says, "You're Gonna Die In Seven Days", and seven days later --"
  • (Anna Faris) "When did you watch it?"
  • (Regina Hall) "A week ago. A week ago, tonight."
  • (Anna Faris) "Brenda."
  • (Anna Faris) "."
  • (Anna Faris) "Oh my God, you bitch."
  • (Regina Hall) "Ketchup."
  • (Anna Faris) "Oh, you got me."
  • (Regina Hall) "I can't believe you fell for that fake seizure."
  • (Anna Faris) "But it seemed so real."
  • (Regina Hall) "It did didn't it?"
  • (Anna Faris) "And you peed."
  • (Regina Hall) "Yeah. I really sold that s***, didn't I? I just love the look on your face when you are scared, girl. You are too easy."
  • (Regina Hall) ". I got you with the old fake hand. I'm gonna get the rest of the popcorn --"

Drew Mikuska as Cody

  • (Drew Mikuska) "Smoke all you want, you're gonna get hit by a bus."
  • (Drew Mikuska) "It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole."
  • (Drew Mikuska) "That's not fooling anyone"
  • (Drew Mikuska) "You're getting lucky tonight."
  • (Drew Mikuska) "He doesn't know you're a guy."

Ja Rule as Agent Thompson

  • (Ja Rule) "Sir. Step away from the window."
  • (Leslie Nielsen) "What? Did I forget to put my pants on again?"

Darrell Hammond as Father Muldoon

  • (Darrell Hammond) "We're getting along famously."

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