Vampires (film) Quotes

Vampires (film) is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Vampires stopped airing in 1970.

It features Sandy King as producer, John Carpenter in charge of musical score, and Gary B. Kibbe as head of cinematography.

Vampires (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Vampires (film) is 108 minutes long. Vampires (film) is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Thomas Ian Griffith as Valek, James Woods as Jack Crow, Tim Guinee as Father Adam Guiteau, Maximilian Schell as Cardinal Alba, Daniel Baldwin as Montoya, and Sheryl Lee as Katrina.

Vampires (film) Quotes

James Woods as Jack Crow

• (James Woods) "Look padre -- i'm starting to like you -- so don't make me hurt you. Come on -- tell me what you know -- i'll buy you a beer and get you laid. If you don't i'm gonna have to start cutting on ya."
• (Tim Guinee) "No you won't -- your a righteous man -- besides any secrets i keep are to protect the church and its principles."
• (James Woods) "Open -- open --"
• (James Woods) "Now listen to me you f*** -- my father kept a secret once -- he got bit by a vampire -- he kept it a secret from me and my mother -- by the fifth day he was turning, that night he attacked my mother and then he came after me. I killed my own father padre -- i got no trouble killin you. Now -- last chance."
• (Tim Guinee) "No -- No -- ok i'll talk."

• (James Woods) "Let me ask you a question. When you were stabbing that vampire in there?"
• (Tim Guinee) "Yeah?"
• (James Woods) "Did you get a little wood?"
• (Tim Guinee) "Mahogany."
• (James Woods) "Excuse me?"
• (Tim Guinee) "Ebony."
• (James Woods) "What?"
• (Tim Guinee) "Teak."
• (James Woods) "Are you possessed by demons?"
• (Tim Guinee) "Major Chubby."
• (James Woods) "Language, Padre, language."

• (James Woods) "Motherf --."

• (James Woods) "I killed my own father, padre. I got no trouble killing you."

• (James Woods) "Valek is the original. The source of the disease. The first vampire created by the Catholic Church --"
• (Tim Guinee) "By accident --"
• (James Woods) "SHUT THE f*** UP."

• (James Woods) "When did she first bite you?"
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Two days ago. I still covered your ass."
• (James Woods) "Yes, you did. I say we owe you two days back. Whatya think, padre?"
• (Tim Guinee) "You have two days."

• (James Woods) "Padre -- I'm beginning to like you -- so don't make me hurt you, OK? Just tell me what you know -- I'll buy you a beer and get you laid. Come on. If you don't tell me, I'm gonna have to start cutting on ya."
• (Tim Guinee) "No, you won't. You're a righteous man, Mr. Crow. Besides I serve a higher master than you. Any secrets I keep are to protect the church and its followers. Part of --"
• (James Woods) "Open your mouth."
• (Tim Guinee) "What?"
• (James Woods) "Open your mouth. Ah, yeah."
• (James Woods) "Gimmie your hand."
• (James Woods) "Now listen to me, you f***. My father kept a secret once. He got bit by a vampire. He kept it a secret from me and my mother. By the fifth day he was turning. That night he attacked my mother and then he came after me. I killed my own father, Padre. I got no trouble killin' you. Last chance."
• (James Woods) "Now open your motherf***in' mouth."
• (Tim Guinee) "No."
• (James Woods) "Open your f***ing mouth. Then prepare --"
• (Tim Guinee) "No."
• (James Woods) "What? Are you ready? Excuse me? What?"
• (Tim Guinee) "Valek-Valek is for an ancient relic, the Cross of Berseires."

• (James Woods) "Your a good man padre -- welcome to the team."
• (Tim Guinee) "May God forgive me."

• (James Woods) "Can I ask ya somethin, Padre? When I was kickin? your ass back there -- you get a little wood?"
• (Tim Guinee) "What?"

• (James Woods) "Padre."
• (Tim Guinee) "Now, what are you gonna do, Valek? You've got nobody to complete your ritual. The sun's starting to rise."
• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "You -- will finish the ritual."
• (Tim Guinee) "Try to make me."
• (James Woods) "Attaboy, Padre. f*** with him."
• (James Woods) "Hey, Valek, you're s*** outta luck, pal. Give it up."
• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "Finish it."
• (Tim Guinee) "No."
• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "Finish it."
• (Tim Guinee) "NO."
• (James Woods) "Come on, Padre. My nuts are on fire here."

Tim Guinee as Father Adam Guiteau

• (Tim Guinee) "A master vampire, able to walk in the sunlight, unstoppable. Unless we stop him."

• (Tim Guinee) "You didn't tell me they could do that."
• (James Woods) "I didn't know they could do that."

Thomas Ian Griffith as Valek

• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "You can't kill me."

• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "For 600 years I have fed on your kind at will."

• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "Isn't it beautiful? Something you'll never forget? I know I won't."

• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "Your war is over, Crusader."

Daniel Baldwin as Montoya

• (Daniel Baldwin) "What's your name? Do you understand what's been happening to you?"
• (Sheryl Lee) "Help me."
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Hey. HEY. Don't f*** with me, honey. I'll snap your neck like a twig. Now nod your head "Yes" or "No". Do you understand what's been happening to you? DO IT."
• (Daniel Baldwin) "All right. Now I'm going to explain it to you. First, I'm gonna take my hand off you mouth. You scream --"
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Good. Now -- what's your name?"
• (Sheryl Lee) "Katrina."
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Okay, Katrina. Here's the senario."
• (Daniel Baldwin) "I took off your clothes. I cleaned you up. I tied you down. I also saved your ass. You been bitten by a vampire. Do you remember the party back at the motel? Big guy, pointy teeth, real s***ty breath? Don't worry. I'll all come back soon. A master vampire has a telepathic link to his victums, and your gonna help us find him. And while he's sleeping, we unleash on his. Your the bait honey. Sorry."

• (Daniel Baldwin) "What's the f***ing total, guy?"
• (Motel Owner) "Erm -- that's erm -- $400."
• (Motel Owner) "Is that your girlfriend?"
• (Daniel Baldwin) "No, it's my f***in' mother. Gimme the key."

• (Man With Buick) "Hey. Cowboy. Can I help you?"
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Yeah. I'm gonna borrow your car."
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Shhh -- just say "Help yourself.""
• (Man With Buick) "You want me to say what ?"
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Hey."
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Shut the f*** up or I'll blow your f***ing teeth out the back of your head, asshole. Back off."
• (Man With Buick) "Uhh -- help yourself, boy."
• (Daniel Baldwin) "Much obliged, partner."

Maximilian Schell as Cardinal Alba

• (Maximilian Schell) "Hello, Jack."
• (Maximilian Schell) "From your expression, I assume you couldn't understand my presence here. I'm sorry to disillusion you, Jack. As one grows old, as death approaches, we begin to question -- our fate. And I found mine lacking. "Is there a god? Is there a heaven?" I can no longer answer this for certain. I've witnessed no miracles, had no visions, and the prospect of death terrifies me. I've realized I've only one -- alternative, and I made a bargain. With the devil if you wish."
• (James Woods) "You are truly a pile of dog s***, Cardinal."
• (Maximilian Schell) "Yeah, that's right."
• (Maximilian Schell) "That's correct, Jack and I can live with that. After I have given what Valek wants, he will fulfill our bargain. And I will be transformed into one of his -- new children. It's beautiful, isn't it?"
• (Maximilian Schell) "Eternal Life -- Imortality -- can change your heart."
• (James Woods) "Valek --"
• (James Woods) "-- why don't you prove you can kick my ass? Come on, untie me. Come on. f***in' pole smokin' fashion victim. Come on over here."
• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "Jack --"
• (James Woods) "Come on. Five minutes, then you can bite my ass a little. Would you like that, see me all tied up, huh?"
• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "What will silence you?"
• (James Woods) "Come on. Untie me, you prick."
• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "Perhaps this will help."
• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "Apparently your friend is one of my children now."
• (Thomas Ian Griffith) "You are alone, crusader."

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