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What's New Pussycat? Quotes

What's New p*****cat? is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . What's New p*****cat? completed its run in 1970.

It features Charles K. Feldman as producer, Burt Bacharach; Hal David in charge of musical score, and Jean Badal as head of cinematography.

What's New p*****cat? is recorded in English and originally aired in United States, and France. Each episode of What's New p*****cat? is 108 minutes long. What's New p*****cat? is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: Peter O'Toole as Michael James, Woody Allen as Victor Skakapopulis, Peter Sellers as Dr. Fritz Fassbender, Eddra Gale as Anna Fassbender, Romy Schneider as Carole Werner, Capucine as Renee Lefebvre, Howard Vernon as Doctor, Paula Prentiss as Liz Bien, Ursula Andress as Rita, and Jacques Balutin as Etienne.

What's New p*****cat? Quotes

Peter Sellers as Dr. Fritz Fassbender

  • (Peter Sellers) ""Lascivious adulterer -- a man who is a lascivious adulterer"? What kind of book is this?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Silence when you're shouting at me."
  • (Peter Sellers) "You are a monster and a monster, in that order."
  • (Peter Sellers) "I, uh, decided to follow you here."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "If you followed me here, how did you contrive to be here before me?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "I followed you -- very fast."
  • (Peter Sellers) "If it fails, then we'll try something else, because I use all kinds of unorthodox methods. For example, I've had the greatest success shutting people in dark closets."
  • (Peter Sellers) "You're grotesque."
  • (Eddra Gale) "Lascivious adulterer."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Don't you dare call me that again until I have looked it up."
  • (Peter Sellers) "When did all this come to an end?"
  • (Peter O'Toole) "It didn't come to an end. That's the point."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Where did we leave off last session?"
  • (Durell - Mental Patient) "When the train entered the tunnel."
  • (Peter Sellers) "May I explain that what you see happening here is merely an illusion --"
  • (Eddra Gale) "An illusion?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "An illusion. Shut the door, count three --"
  • (Eddra Gale) "Three?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Four, if you like, but close the door and you'll see it's just an illusion."
  • (Unnamed) "I can't spell Sigismund."
  • (Peter Sellers) "I think that you have a little sexual block over the spelling of that naughty name. Allow me to help you, I'm a psychoanalyst, among other things."
  • (Peter Sellers) "I'll see you next Friday; I've got a few phone calls to make."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "But I haven't finished; I've only been here fifteen minutes."
  • (Peter Sellers) "I can't take more than fifteen minutes of your sex life at one time."
  • (Peter Sellers) "My wife, the creature that ate Europe, is here."

Peter O'Toole as Michael James

  • (Peter O'Toole) "I'll be back tomorrow. If I'm not back tomorrow, send for the police. If they're not back tomorrow, send my clothes."
  • (Miss Marks) "Oh, Michael, this can't work, I'm 34 and you're 12."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Don't be negative."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "What in the name of all that's gracious is a semi-virgin?"
  • (Peter O'Toole) "p*****cat from the sky, I can't resist you."
  • (Ursula Andress) "Don't resist. Capitulate."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Could you tell me about your typical clientele?"
  • (Jacques Balutin) "My typical clientele?"
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Typical."
  • (Jacques Balutin) "All the people who are here now are typical clientele."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Really?"
  • (Jacques Balutin) "There is a man cheating on his wife in room Lola Montez. There is a woman cheating on her two husbands in Carlotta. Two lovers of indeterminate sex in Reine Margot. And two men cheating in Don Juan."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Yes. Well, once might say the joint is jumping."
  • (Man In Strip Club) "Excuse me, haven't you seen me somewhere before?"
  • (Peter O'Toole) "I know the name, but I can't remember the face."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "In Britain, we have a national therapy, we call it cricket. Unlike other sports, it doesn't involve anxieties or pressures. It's leisurely and lyrical. It's the song of willow on leather."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Is there any sex in it?"
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Oh, no. This is a game for gentlemen, played by gentlemen."
  • (Peter Sellers) "It's sick, sick."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "I've had a lot of experience fondling, er, handling young women like you. And it's all got to stop."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Ahhh. A little gentle steam does one the world of good. We must have physical health as well as mental health. Ah, I'm kinky for steam."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Did you find a job?"
  • (Woody Allen) "Yeah, I got something at the striptease. I help the girls dress and undress."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Nice job."
  • (Woody Allen) "Twenty francs a week."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "Not very much."
  • (Woody Allen) "It's all I can afford."

Eddra Gale as Anna Fassbender

  • (Eddra Gale) "Foiled by a cheap cinematic trick."
  • (Eddra Gale) "Is she prettier than me?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Is she prettier than you? I'M prettier than YOU."
  • (Ursula Andress) "Who is that thing?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "That is no thing, it's my wife."

Capucine as Renee Lefebvre

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Paula Prentiss as Liz Bien

  • (Paula Prentiss) "You're right. I must face my problems. I can't go through life being a semi-virgin."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "What, in the name of all that is gracious, is a semi-virgin?"
  • (Paula Prentiss) "Here, I'm a virgin. In America, I'm not."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "What do they do? Stamp it on your passport?"
  • (Paula Prentiss) "Would you excuse me for a minute? I'm going into the bathroom to take an overdose of sleeping pills."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "I like you. You're a nice stable girl."

Howard Vernon as Doctor

  • (Howard Vernon) "Mademoiselle, the boys at the Emergency Suicide ward have voted to give you this gold watch for unusual devotion."

Woody Allen as Victor Skakapopulis

  • (Woody Allen) "Pardon me, drunk, but you can't come in here."
  • (Woody Allen) "I just burnt my finger. I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream. I'll be out in a minute."
  • (Woody Allen) "Do you have any salt?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Have I got any salt? I got a boat, I got kerosene, matches, firecrackers, two swords, and this flag. But, I ain't got no salt."

Romy Schneider as Carole Werner

  • (Romy Schneider) "You got something to eat?"
  • (Woody Allen) "Some, uh, some Fig Newtons and some Hershey bars and some cough drops."
  • (Romy Schneider) "You got any tuna fish?"
  • (Woody Allen) "Tuna fish -- tuna fish -- I have some salmon salad left."
  • (Romy Schneider) "What do you mean, left? When did you make it?"
  • (Woody Allen) "In April, but if you smother it with pepper it's fine."
  • (Romy Schneider) "You got something to eat?"
  • (Woody Allen) "Some, uh, some fig-newtons and some hershey bars and some cough drops"
  • (Romy Schneider) "You got any tuna fish?"
  • (Woody Allen) "Tunafish -- Tunafish -- I have some salmon salad left"
  • (Romy Schneider) "What do you mean, left? When did you make it?"
  • (Woody Allen) "In April but if you smother it with pepper it's fine."
  • (Romy Schneider) "We're married thirty seconds and already you look at other women."
  • (Peter O'Toole) "I had to look at her, she was talking to me, I looked in the direction the sound was coming from."

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