(Article is below...)

Big Daddy (1999 film) Quotes

Big Daddy (1999 film) is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Big Daddy stopped airing in 1970.

It features Allen Covert as producer, Teddy Castellucci in charge of musical score, and Theo van de Sande as head of cinematography.

Big Daddy (1999 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Big Daddy (1999 film) is 93 minutes long. Big Daddy (1999 film) is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Kristy Swanson as Vanessa, Adam Sandler as Sonny, Dylan and Cole Sprouse as Julian, Rob Schneider as Nazo, Steve Buscemi as Homeless Guy, Peter Dante as Tommy, Joseph Bologna as Lenny, Leslie Mann as Corinne, Allen Covert as Phil D'Amato, Joey Lauren Adams as Layla, Jonathan Loughran as Mike, Edmund Lyndeck as Mr. Herlihy, and Jon Stewart as Kevin.

Big Daddy (1999 film) Quotes

Adam Sandler as Sonny

  • (Adam Sandler) "What, you want a father figure? Stop pulling your sister's hair."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Hey."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Hey."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You like hockey?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "You like hockey?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "This is a big, important game."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "This is a big, important game."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Cut the crap."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Cut the crap."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm being serious, don't do that."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "I;m being serious, don't do that."
  • (Adam Sandler) "How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "That's what I thought. Shut up."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Get cleaned up and we'll go to Barney's."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Barney?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Not that Barney, a different Barney. A much more expensive Barney."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Total mind blower. Will you just relax? Here."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What do you want me to do?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You're gonna meet Vanessa tonight. You'll like her."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You wanna see me get hurt? That'll cheer you up?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "All right."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You think that's funny? Good. No more crying."
  • (Unnamed) "Are you okay?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Next time, kill me."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now. Syracuse is 0 and 3. I got those medical problems."
  • (Kristy Swanson) "Medical problems? A cab runs over your foot 2 years ago, you spend one night in the hospital."
  • (Adam Sandler) "First of all that cab was huge. And a jury decided that one night of pain was worth two hundred thousand dollars, so there ya go."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm thinkin' about keepin' the kid."
  • (Allen Covert) "Sonny, remember that time you went with me to the pet store to get fish food and you saw that cute little puppy and you wanted to get it, but then I reminded you about feeding it and cleaning it and toilet-training it?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah --"
  • (Allen Covert) "Well, this is kinda like that; except with a human."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You can be scared that I might get pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood or break my legs skiing. But don't be scared about me being a dad, because I will not fail. I love this kid too much. I love him as much as you love me, Dad. I'm gonna give him advice and I'm gonna guide him and I'll be there whenever he needs me. I'll fly to New York to be at his court case even if I disagree with why he's there"
  • (Customer) "Nice parenting."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Hey, thanks. Who are you? My therapist?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Take a walk."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Say "Happy Halloween"."
  • (Reluctant Trick-or-Treat Giver) "Happy Halloween."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah, next year be prepared."
  • (Adam Sandler) "He's the smelly kid in class., I let him become the smelly kid in class., What the hell's the matter with me?"
  • (Ms. Foote) "Oh yes, I've had some smelly ones before, but your son is by far the smelliest."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Have a good sleep there, Corrine. Pleasant Hooters."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What do you eat?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Food."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh yea? Well I eat food too."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Let me have that. Go to your room -- I guess. Or go do whatever you want."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Hey, the money I won in the cab accident is kicking ass in the stockmarket, so relax."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I had a mother lined up for him, but she's bangin' the Pepperidge Farm guy and the kid won't stop peeing and throwing up, he's like a cocker spaniel."
  • (Adam Sandler) "My God, that's a s*** load of piss."
  • (Adam Sandler) ""We wasted the good surprise on you.""
  • (Adam Sandler) "Hi, Julian. How ya doin'? I'm Scuba Sam, Scuba Steve's father. You see, my boy needs to take a bath, the only problem is he's afraid to bathe alone. So, I was wondering if you'd keep him company in the tub.Terrific, and after your bath, you need to try and study hard because if you want to be in the Scuba Squad, you have to be smart."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "I can be in the Scuba Squad?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Well sure. All you have to do is work hard and don't tell a soul about the Scuba Squad because then everybody's gonna wanna join. Oh, and one more thing. Be nice to the Delivery Guy, will ya? It's not his fault he can't read."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Man this Yoohoo is good, you know what else is good, smoking dope. I ain't gonna rat you out. You know, puffing the cheeba, go by the see saw smoke a j. You know what I'm talking about?"
  • (Jeff) "I have a belly button."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You have a belly button, well we all have belly buttons. You know what? We all love Yoohoo, especially Yoohoo with a little rum."
  • (Jared) "What's rum?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You don't know what Rum is?"
  • (Jared) "Rumplestilskin?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Rumplestilskin's a good man. So are you guys. Hey, stay clean, stay focused, stay strong. Frankenstein, have fun with your friends."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What's in the bag Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassles?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Okay, what do you want?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Cheerios."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Cheerios? They don't got Cheerios. What else?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Lasagna."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Lasagna? What the hell is the matter with you? Um, we'll take hot cakes and sausage --"
  • (Employee) "Sorry, sir, we stopped serving breakfast."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What are you talking about? We're FOUR seconds late."
  • (Employee) "No, you're 30 minutes and four seconds late. We stopped serving breakfast at 10:30."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Aw, HORSEs***."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Julian, what do you want?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Thirty packets of ketchup."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I got some interesting news?"
  • (Joseph Bologna) "Oh yeah, what?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "I kind of adopted a kid"
  • (Joseph Bologna) "What the hell are you talking about?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm talking about you being a grandfather. Congratulations."
  • (Joseph Bologna) "Who the hell would give you a kid?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Social Services."
  • (Joseph Bologna) "You idiot. You better give that kid back."
  • (Adam Sandler) "His mother's -- hang on, hang on."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Go play with them pigeons, buddy."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I tried to give him back. I just, I just, I just can't, Dad. I need your help. I'm in a bad way right now, Vanessa dumped me, I don't know what the hell I'm doing."
  • (Joseph Bologna) "You damn right you don't know what the hell you doing."
  • (Adam Sandler) "The kid is always around, especially for the last few days. You think he'd give me a little privacy but he just never leaves me alone, I'm in deep s***."
  • (Joseph Bologna) "Just give that kid back right now, before you ruin BOTH YOUR LIVES."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, I appreciate that Dad."
  • (Joseph Bologna) "He'd be better off living in a dumpster then living with you."
  • (Joseph Bologna) "That's impossible, all you ever care about is yourself."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I care about you saving money on this phone call."
  • (Adam Sandler) "That was your girlfriend. She's Hooterific again."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Ow, Scuba Steve. Damn You."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Where's Kevin?"
  • (Leslie Mann) "Oh, he already left. He forgot to say goodbye to you."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Then why are you here?"
  • (Leslie Mann) "I'm cleaning because you're useless."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Then are you going to go to your Hooters reunion? And talk about who's ass sticks out the most while wearing your shorts?"
  • (Leslie Mann) "At least I can fit my ass in to my shorts, fatty."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Speaking of fatty, whose is this?"
  • (Leslie Mann) "I don't know."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm eating it then."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What's your name, he'll write it on the wall -- mind your business."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I can't take this s***. Are you serious?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Douchebag kangaroo."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Hey. You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls -- gross. Ugh."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Having a kid is great -- as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm working on a big case: I'm gonna sue you assholes for making me come down here."

Dylan and Cole Sprouse as Julian

  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "You don't want me here anymore?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "No, that's not it, pal. You just have to go away for awhile."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "How long am I going away for?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "I don't want to lie to you. I don't think we'll be seeing each other anymore. I screwed up, I'm so sorry. Come here, put your coat on. This is not your fault, okay? I'm the idiot"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "I don't wanna go."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I know you don't, but you have to. You'll be okay, alright?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Please don't make me go. I won't play the Kangaroo Song anymore."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I know buddy, that's not it."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Please, I promise. I'm sorry, I don't even like that song anymore. And I wipe my own ass. I wipe my own ass."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I know."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "I wipe my own ass."
  • (Rob Schneider) "Me too."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Aww, what's wrong, are you all hopped out?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Electricity. Constitution. Philadelphia."
  • (Rob Schneider) "Fish. Pony. Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you. You gave him the easy ones."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "How come you're not going?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Because I don't have to go. Only you and my grandfather go every thirty seconds."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "-- but I wipe my own ass, I wipe my own ass."

Rob Schneider as Nazo

  • (Rob Schneider) "This is bulls***. Should have same rules for everyone, no matter what age."
  • (Rob Schneider) "What are your cards?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "I got a 6, a 5, a Jack, a 4 and a 8. I win."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What do you mean "you win"? I had a hand just like that before, I didn't win?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Because I win."
  • (Rob Schneider) "This is bulls***."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Alright, take it easy man."
  • (Rob Schneider) "Every time different cards, he still wins?"
  • (Rob Schneider) "Hey, I remember you. You always order three piece of cheesecake."
  • (Rob Schneider) "I had doll like that once. But my cat, he bite his head off."
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "What kind of cat would do that?"
  • (Rob Schneider) "You calling me a liar?"

Leslie Mann as Corinne

  • (Leslie Mann) "We wasted the good surprise on you."
  • (Leslie Mann) "What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called "doing the hibbidy-dibbidy.""
  • (Leslie Mann) "We wasted the good surprise on YOU."

Edmund Lyndeck as Mr. Herlihy

  • (Edmund Lyndeck) "Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What are you drunk Mr. Herlihy?"
  • (Edmund Lyndeck) "Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Get off the stand please."
  • (Edmund Lyndeck) "You got it. Got a few problems."
  • (Edmund Lyndeck) "god**** Jets."
  • (Waitress) "Hey, cutie. What are you doing here?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "Watching football."
  • (Waitress) "Oh yea, who do you want to win?"
  • (Dylan and Cole Sprouse) "The god**** Jets."

Allen Covert as Phil D'Amato

  • (Allen Covert) "And how long have you disliked Mr. Koufax?"
  • (Leslie Mann) "Since the day I met him"
  • (Allen Covert) "And for the record, where did you work while attending medical school?"
  • (Leslie Mann) "Hooters"
  • (Allen Covert) "No further questions?"
  • (Leslie Mann) "No."
  • (Leslie Mann) "-- asshole."

Steve Buscemi as Homeless Guy

  • (Steve Buscemi) "Sonny was real nice to the kid. Wish my father was like him. My father was a military man. Guess I wasn't such a good soldier. Anyways, when I was 35, he tried to give me a crew cut while I was asleep. I woke up, broke his arm, haven't seen him since. I'd rather live in a dumpster then under his freaky ass rules. (Notices a McDonald's bag in Sonny's hand) Anyways, I think Sonny Koufax should be acquitted of all the charges. If O.J. can get away with murder, why can't Sonny have his kid? (points at a black man) This guy knows what I'm talking about. No more questions."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Total Mind blow."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Yes, considering we're in America. I mean, if you don't like Spaghetti and Meatballs, why don't you just get the hell out?"

Joey Lauren Adams as Layla

  • (Joey Lauren Adams) "So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah."
  • (Joey Lauren Adams) "Is that strange for you?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now."
  • (Joey Lauren Adams) "This is Styx."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah."
  • (Joey Lauren Adams) "They've been my favorite band since I was, like, twelve."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You're kidding me?"
  • (Joey Lauren Adams) "No, no, I can't help it, I just love them. My friends make fun of me all the time."
  • (Adam Sandler) "My friends make fun of me all the time, too. I've seen them, like, twenty-five times. Tommy Shaw, when I was, like, sixteen years old, I was at the concert, he actually reached out and grabbed my hand, pulled me up on stage, and I got to do the robot voice for Mr. Roboto."

Jonathan Loughran as Mike

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Peter Dante as Tommy

  • (Peter Dante) "Objection."
  • (Joseph Bologna) "Shut up, Tommy."
  • (Peter Dante) "Sorry, Mr. Koufax."
  • (Peter Dante) "How long have you delivered food to Mr. Koufax?"
  • (Rob Schneider) "I deliver food for six years. Plus, I'm stripper. But I've gained weight so that's a problem."
  • (Peter Dante) "I see. And, in your experience, was Sonny a good father to Julian?"
  • (Rob Schneider) "Oh, yes. They make terrific pair. They went together like lamb and tuna fish."
  • (Peter Dante) "Lamb and tuna fish?"
  • (Rob Schneider) "Maybe you like spaghetti and meatball? You more comfortable with that analogy?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Yes, considering we're in America. I mean, if you don't like spaghetti and meatballs, why don't you get the hell out?"
  • (Rob Schneider) "Listen, I'll come down there and give you a crew cut, Mister."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Let's see your clippers."
  • (Rob Schneider) "Not my problem your father was sick."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "That; well; -Stop yelling at me. AAAhhhhhhhh."

Kristy Swanson as Vanessa

  • (Kristy Swanson) "He has a five year plan."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What is it? "Don't die"?"

Joseph Bologna as Lenny

  • (Ted Castellucci) "Objection, Your Honor. The court is interested in the truth, not the opinion of the defendant's father."
  • (Joseph Bologna) "You want my opinion? My son is a moron."
  • (Ted Castellucci) "I withdraw my objection. Please proceed."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.

Additional Film and TV Quotes

Mystic Pizza Quotes | Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue Quotes | The Music Lovers Quotes | Blackboard Jungle Quotes | Jesus of Montreal Quotes | 75th Academy Awards Quotes | The Adventures of Milo and Otis Quotes | Wonderfalls Quotes | Prisoners of Gravity Quotes | Party Monster (film) Quotes | La haine Quotes | Chance (2002 film) Quotes | Century City (TV series) Quotes | Forbidden Zone Quotes | The Appointments of Dennis Jennings Quotes | Arrested Development Quotes | The Private Life of Helen of Troy Quotes | Taiyō o Nusunda Otoko Quotes | The Pirates of Dark Water Quotes | Dharma and Greg Quotes | Friends of the People Quotes | That's So Raven Quotes | Chappelle's Show Quotes | Murphy Brown Quotes | Toys (film) Quotes |